- Praise
- Title Page
- Copyright Page
- Table of Contents
- Dedication
- Acknowledgements
- Introduction
- Chapter One - The Self-Defeating Habits of Otherwise Brilliant People: Getting ...
- Hostility is on the rise
- Irritability and hostility at work
- Stress, incivility, irritability, and rudeness
- Got a minute?
- Costs of incivility
- Predictable, pervasive errors
- Don’t just resolve destructive conflict—eliminate it!
- Duped by the dazzle of contempt
- Blame and turf wars are not human nature
- Trench-validity and stickiness
- Frustration and “heart hassles”
- Three cultures at work: Hostile, helpless, and hearty appreciation
- In which category would you put your team?
- The most important habit you bring to the table
- Chapter Two - Anger Makes You Stupid, Lonely, and Depressed: The Stinky ...
- I’m frustrated and it’s your fault!
- Hitler and reflexive, irrational response to frustration
- Inflammatory thinking and flooding
- Contempt contaminates employees and clients
- After being treated with disrespect, 60 percent of customers take their ...
- Predictable workplace targets and scapegoats
- Anger is a feeling; hostility is an attitude
- Toxic anger, hostility, and heart disease
- At 100 heartbeats per minute, we can no longer hear
- Males rage—and rescue—more often
- Anger makes you stupid
- Is yelling effective?
- The oblivious driver and the reflexive response
- I’m frustrated and it’s my fault
- Depression, work, and health
- The stinky twins: Blaming others and blaming self
- The flooded boss
- Hostility and the fear of unworthiness
- The Rabbi and the Grand Dragon of the KKK
- Hostility brings relief from self-loathing
- Hostility collapses into hopelessness and despair
- Without positive energy, two dismal choices remain
- Sending the stinky twins to reform school
- Chapter Three - Curiosity Makes You Smart, Sexy, and Successful: The Most ...
- Chapter Four - Unspoken Reasons, Hidden Realities: Stories That Stick
- Chapter Five - Intelligent Fools: The Hidden Price Tags of Irritability and Contempt
- Cost #1: Mind-boggling amounts of money are wasted
- Cost #2: Credibility suffers
- Cost #3: Direct reports and colleagues silently resent blame
- Cost #4: Blame turns potential allies into enemies
- Cost #5: Blame becomes an automatic response
- Cost #6: Blame demoralizes employees and destroys pride in work
- Cost #7: Colleagues and direct reports no longer trust you
- Cost #8: Partners-in-crime sell you down the river
- Chapter Six - A Touch of Genius and a Lot of Courage: How to Unplug From ...
- Chapter Seven - If I’m Not Part of the Problem, There Is No Solution: Breaking ...
- Negative reciprocity is reliable and predictable
- Positive reciprocity is reliable and predictable
- Christmas morning Marine
- Hostility shows
- Reciprocity flows: Cycles of Contempt and Courage
- A Cycle of Contempt: Project managers and architects
- A Cycle of Courage: Project managers and architects
- A Cycle of Contempt: The crew chiefs and their new hires
- A Cycle of Courage: The crew chiefs and their new hires
- A Cycle of Contempt: The alienated son
- A Cycle of Courage: The alienated son
- A Cycle of Contempt: The angry police chief and the press
- A Cycle of Courage: The angry police chief and the press
- Cycles of Contempt on large scales
- You are the center of your universe
- Chapter Eight - Hard on the Problem, Soft on the People: The True Causes of ...
- Human nature is vulnerable to the system
- Changing systems changes behavior
- First: Is there a baby in the back seat?
- Second: Look at your systems and processes
- The genius that dissed the president
- Menopause Molly
- Third: Look for conflicting performance measures
- Fourth: Many inappropriate behaviors are the result of low skill, insight, or courage
- An effective attitude for addressing problems
- Hard on the problem, soft on the people
- “All the managers are immature!”
- The thinking pattern that will save your sanity and productivity
- Chapter Nine - There Are Two Dogs Inside of Every Man: The One That Dominates ...
- Chapter Ten - You Can Be Effective or Self-Righteous—Pick One: Five Smart ...
- Chapter Eleven - Creating Cultures of Appreciation: Respect, Pride, and Fiscal Responsibility
- Appendix - Transforming the Enemy
- About the Author
This book is dedicated to—
My son, Benjamin,
for his wisdom and wit.
My teacher, Marie Burgeson,
for leading me to the light.
The Julie and Michael Weisser family,
Nelson Mandela,
and the people of Tibet,
for living the power of loving kindness.
for his wisdom and wit.
My teacher, Marie Burgeson,
for leading me to the light.
The Julie and Michael Weisser family,
Nelson Mandela,
and the people of Tibet,
for living the power of loving kindness.
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