Truth 26. The reinforcement principle

A group of sneaky students got together before class and decided to test the power of the reinforcement principle. Whenever the instructor walked on the right side of the classroom, they attentively smiled, nodded, and sat forward in their seats. However, when the instructor paced over to the left side of the classroom, the students slumped, averted their eyes, and disengaged. On which side of the classroom did the teacher spend the most time: the right or the left? The obvious answer is that he spent dramatically more time on the right side of the classroom. The students had positively reinforced the speaker’s behavior. Yet, the instructor was unaware of why he ended up on the right side of the room by the end of the lecture. This brings up an important point about reinforcement: It occurs at a level below our threshold of awareness.

Under what conditions would you want to use reinforcement in negotiation? Answer: Anytime you want to increase a certain behavior. In negotiation, people emit various behaviors, some pleasant and constructive, and some offensive and destructive. Ideally, we want to encourage the counterparty to emit behaviors that will help us expand the pie. We can do this if we follow certain principles of behavioral reinforcement.

Under what conditions would you want to use reinforcement in negotiation? Answer: Anytime you want to increase a certain behavior.

As simple as this psychology sounds, it is easy to screw it up. The main things to remember about reinforcement are these:

Be immediate—We’re talking about seconds when it comes to rewarding behavior. If you wait several minutes to nod and smile to the counterparty, you have missed your window to reward her behavior.

Be unambiguous—Your reward should be clear and simple, such as a clear and simple nod, an open smile, eye contact, or a heartfelt compliment.

Reward behaviors, not underlying states—The reinforcement principle works great when it comes to behaviors. Don’t get caught up in trying to reward an attitude, a disposition, or an intention of the other party. My rule of thumb is to stick to whatever behaviors can be pointed to. For example, don’t try to reinforce someone for speaking truthfully. However, reward someone for opening up his binder or sharing a company report.

Be consistent—If you sometimes reward a given behavior and sometimes fail to acknowledge or even perhaps punish that same behavior, you send a mixed message to the other party. Be consistent in your rewards.

All of the following actions may be considered rewards in most contexts. They build a cooperative foundation and do not require us to make concessions:

Smiling

Nodding

Maintaining eye contact (in many cultures, but eye contact in some cultures can be threatening and a sign of dominance, not liking)

Verbal phrases such as “I like that,” or “I appreciate that,” or “That is great,” or even “Tell me more.”