- Cover Page
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Contents
- Introduction
- Chapter 1: Self-Defeating Habits of Otherwise Brilliant People®
- Hostility, stress, and depression are on the rise
- The price of contempt
- We used to be friends
- With hope, desire for connection overrides fear
- Hoodwinked by the bright lights of contempt
- Does this material stick?
- Three cultures at work
- What's the barrier?
- Thirty heart hassles a day
- Frustrations accumulate and amplify
- Two sources of energy
- Assumption, emotion, behavior
- Chapter 2: The Stinky Twins: Blaming Others, Blaming Self
- Negativity bias: Our brains are nervous and cranky!
- Master of First Assumption
- Inflammatory thinking
- Fear triggers a tsunami of blame
- Predictable workplace targets and scapegoats
- Anger, hostility, impaired immune systems, and heart disease
- First Assumption: I'm frustrated and it's your fault!
- Second Assumption: I'm frustrated and it's my fault
- Chronic anger and fragile self-esteem
- Chapter 3: The Reflective Assumption: A Pathway to Dialogue and Data
- Chapter 4: The Triggers and Costs of Adversarial Factions
- Stage One: Disagreement and disappointment
- Stage Two: Avoidance
- Stage Three: “I need to vent”
- Stage Four: Adversarial factions form
- Stage Five: Negative speculation spreads and reaches the target
- Stage Six: Mistrust spreads to their groups
- Stage Seven: Elevate
- Stage Eight: Termination
- Stage Nine: From afar and in the bar
- Avoid these self-defeating mistakes
- Chapter 5: Stories that Stick
- Chapter 6: The Invisible Costs of Contempt
- Cost 1: Mind-boggling amounts of wasted money
- Cost 2: Problems multiply
- Cost 3: Partners in crime sell each other down the river
- Cost 4: Credibility suffers
- Cost 5: Resentment of First Assumption leaders and colleagues
- Cost 6: Blame turns potential allies into enemies
- Cost 7: Blame becomes an automatic response
- Cost 8: Blame demoralizes employees and destroys pride in work
- Cost 9: We risk being seen as hypocrites
- Cost 10: Accountability and standards decline
- No one is safe
- Chapter 7: Strategies for Calming Others, Calming Self
- Chapter 8: Reciprocity: The Most Reliable Predictor of Behavior
- Chapter 9: Five Root Causes of Workplace Conflict and Tension
- Chapter 10: Open the Dialogue
- Chapter 11: You Can Be Successful or Self-Righteous
- Chapter 12: Create Cultures of Appreciation, Respect, Pride, and High Morale
- Epilogue: Transforming the Enemy
- Acknowledgments
- Bibliography
- Index
- About the Author
-
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