Chapter 3
Working the Crowd
Now that you have the big-picture view of your new company, it is time to get to know people one-on-one. Establishing strong on-the-job relationships will drive your career growth and give you a reason to come to work in the morning. When you first meet new colleagues, it’s hard to imagine having an informal lunch meeting with them or talking reality television in front of the watercooler. You might think that your fellow employees should approach you because you are the new kid. However, in most companies, the pace of business is so frenetic that you’ll be lucky if people even notice you’ve arrived. It’s your responsibility to make sure that you are professionally and socially integrated into your department, and you’ll be better off if you take action sooner rather than later. In this chapter, I’ll discuss strategies for getting to know your new boss and navigating your company’s social scene. I’ll also touch on how to practice cringe-free networking and how to scout out the antidote for corporate insanity—your mentor.
Getting to Know the Boss
My immediate supervisor was so disorganized that it drove me up the wall. He was so busy trying to find his way out from underneath his desk that he was unable to communicate any vision whatsoever. His style put me off so much that I started to get really bitter. Eventually I could see my attitude seeping into our interactions, and I think my boss could tell that I didn’t like him. Soon he found subtle ways to let me know he felt the same way, and the next thing I knew, I was getting all of the most boring assignments. I didn’t want to sabotage my career, so I tried focusing on my boss’s strengths. I found that he was a great listener and that he could talk sports with greater finesse than my husband. By making a conscious effort to value what he brought to the table, I was able to turn things around between us.
Dvora, 26, Florida
There are as many different types of bosses in the corporate world as there are people, and, hopefully, the manager you work for is a good fit for you. As the captain of your department’s ship, your boss is responsible for the group’s success, and, to a great extent, your own. As such, it’s crucial that you get to know your immediate supervisor early and determine her priorities. During your first days in the trenches, observe your boss in action. If you can, shadow her for a day to see how she interacts with junior and senior employees, and how she handles different situations. Business consultant C. Sam Benson, in his article “Your Management Success,” defines the following basic management styles:
• Aggressive: competitive, decisive, direct, likes immediate results.
• Persuasive: poised, optimistic, convincing, likes interacting with people.
• Supportive: patient, reliable, a good listener, likes security.
• Analytical: precise, prepared, plans thoroughly, dislikes mistakes.
It’s difficult to slap a label on a complex person you barely know, but thinking about your boss’s management style will help you determine how to proceed with the best chance of success. You may have heard that there are documented variations between male and female bosses. Supposedly, women are more nurturing, collaborative, and relationship-focused, but they may react emotionally when they feel threatened or insecure. On the other hand, men are presumed to be more generous and easygoing, but they tend to favor individual work on tasks and an autocratic approach to decision-making.
There has also been a lot of talk lately about generational differences among the various age groups that currently comprise the workforce. In his book Managing the Generation Mix, author and generational expert Bruce Tulgan defines the generations as follows:
• Schwarzkopfers: Born before 1946, and now few and far between, their strengths are loyalty, dependability, responsibility, altruism, and a strong work ethic. Other generations can count on these seasoned workers for everything from historical perspective to an important document. Their attitude is “take charge” and “do what’s right.”
• Baby Boomers: The huge Baby Boom generation, born between 1946 and 1964, experienced a child-centered upbringing, a focus on individuality and youth, and a distrust of anyone in authority. Older Boomers admit they’re competitive and self-centered, but have a strong commitment to the mission of their organizations. Younger Boomers see themselves as cautiously loyal and more realistic about life and work.
• Generation X-ers: These independent, driven go getters, born between 1965 and 1977, are accustomed to taking care of themselves. Not obsessed with climbing the corporate ladder, these free agents are energetic, creative, and adaptable as they make lifestyle choices that contribute to their wellness, happiness, and health.
• Generation Y-ers/Millennials: Born after 1977, Y is the most outspoken and empowered of all the generations. Influenced by education-minded Boomer parents and fueled by their facility with technology, Gen Y-ers are poised to be lifelong learners. They’re socially conscious, have high expectations of organizations, and are constantly looking for ways to improve how things are done.
As members of the Millennial generation, you may have noticed that some of these broad characteristics accurately describe you, your colleagues, and your managers. However, as you get to know your boss, I urge you not to put much stock in generalizations. I think you’ll find that the way your boss operates will depend almost exclusively on her unique personality, and that gender or age seldom play a major role.
It’s a good idea to set up a one-on-one meeting with your new boss right away. You will need to be proactive about this because, in the crazed atmosphere of the corporate world, your boss may be too harried to make the suggestion. If necessary, block an hour with his admin or ask him to grab a quick lunch in the cafeteria. New York City career counselor Judith Gerberg suggests three strategies for this first encounter: (1) express gratitude and enthusiasm, (2) clarify roles and expectations, and (3) define the training and support you will need to do your job well. Additionally, you’ll want to leave the meeting with answers to the following questions:
• What are your daily responsibilities?
• Are there department meetings he would like you to be a part of? Are there particular people he would suggest you meet?
• What is the best way to get in touch with him if you need something (for instance, does he want you to drop by his office, would he prefer a voice mail, or is e-mail best)?
• How should you document your work? How often and in what format does he want you to report on project status?
• How should you go about suggesting new ideas or processes?
• How will your performance be evaluated?
If you can accomplish one thing in this initial meeting, make sure you and your boss agree on how to move forward. All of your efforts to impress him with your expansive knowledge of the field and your creative ideas will be fruitless if the two of you are going in different directions. Find out what he wants from you first, and then brainstorm ways to surpass his expectations. You can also establish a good rapport by making your new boss feel needed. Show him in the very beginning that you are ready and willing to be guided, and bond with him over the fact that he has some years on you, and, therefore, has a treasure trove of career advice to offer.
How else can you get started on the right foot? Here are some other hints:
1. Be humble. Don’t approach your boss with a sense of entitlement, as though he is personally responsible for furthering your career. Instead, focus on learning what you can do to make his life easier, contribute to your company’s goals, and make him look good to his boss.
2. Be realistic. Keep in mind that your boss is a human being and that he is going to make mistakes. He is not trying to make your life difficult. The two of you are on the same team, so don’t be overly sensitive or critical. Listen without judgment, make a sincere effort to understand your boss’s position, and patiently explain your ideas. If you’re unclear about something, ask for clarification rather than expecting him to read your mind.
3. Be honest. Admit if you do something wrong, and then ask your boss how you can rectify the situation. Don’t allow yourself to get caught in a maze of lies or excuses that will result in a loss of credibility.
4. Be respectful of your boss’s time. Appear in his office with a checklist of things you need to cover, and don’t dwell too long on any particular subject. Your boss will be more receptive to meeting with you if he knows you’ll be in and out of his office quickly.
5. Be self-sufficient. Only approach your boss with a problem or complaint if you’ve explored all options for resolving it yourself. When you do, be prepared to have a solution at hand that you could implement with his help. Choose your battles wisely, and decide carefully if bringing an issue to your boss’s attention is really necessary or if you would be better off letting it go.
6. Be friendly. Encourage your boss to genuinely like you. If he expresses an outrageous political opinion or offers unsolicited advice about your personal life, nod and smile. You don’t have to agree, but you don’t have to disagree either. Your boss’s feelings should be protected at all times. Compliment him on his tie or presentation, if it’s appropriate, and thank him profusely for any efforts on your behalf. Do personal favors for him and brownnose all you want, but make sure you do it sincerely. Your boss will smell phoniness a million miles away—and believe me, he won’t appreciate it. Even if your boss isn’t someone you’d choose as a friend, focus on the things about him you do like, and do your best to establish a positive working relationship.
7. Be a “can-do” employee. When your boss asks you to do something, accommodate him, if possible. The words I don’t have time should never escape your lips. If you know something needs to be done, do it without being prodded, and if your boss asks for help in a group setting, be the first to volunteer. Your boss will quickly come to see you as a huge asset to the team and as someone he can count on. An important caveat to the “can-do” mantra: You have to set reasonable boundaries for your new manager. There is a fine line between being a hard worker and letting people take advantage of you. Some managers, even good ones, fall victim to the gofer syndrome. If you’ve ever made a photocopy for a boss who has a Xerox machine in his office, you know what I’m talking about. The gofer syndrome involves a stream of barked orders to the tune of, “Do this, do that, get me this, get me that, tell this person ABC, and get an answer from that person on XYZ.” Pretty soon, you’re spending so much time on silly errands that you don’t have time to get any real work done. Cure your boss of the gofer syndrome by telling him that you’re happy to make those copies if he will give you permission to deprioritize the report you’re working on for the CEO. Your boss will see for himself how he should best utilize your time.
Also, don’t let your boss catch you staying until 10 p.m. or obsessively responding to e-mail on weekends unless you want her to expect that behavior from you for the duration of your career. Along those same lines, you shouldn’t impose a performance standard on yourself that is impossible to maintain. If you return all of your boss’s messages within five minutes of receiving them and complete assignments way ahead of deadlines, you run the risk of disappointing her when you can’t deliver.
One more piece of advice: Get to know coworkers who report to the same manager quickly so that you can probe them about your boss’s pet peeves, preferences, and expectations. Be careful how you phrase your questions, though, because you don’t want to launch a discussion that criticizes your new boss in any way. Ask a colleague to fill you in on the chain of command in your department. Use this information to introduce yourself and explain your function in the office to your boss’s boss and the other managers with whom you’ll be working. Establishing strong relationships with the department higher-ups will accomplish the dual functions of making your boss look good and strengthening your overall position in the company.
The Corporate Social Scene
When I moved to San Francisco to start a new marketing job in the cosmetics industry, I really wanted to make friends with the younger people in my department. I tried to get to know the girls who worked in the cubes around me, but they were such a tight-knit group that I thought I was back in high school. Every time I’d ask one of them to go to lunch, she would come up with some excuse, and then later I would see her leaving with one of our other colleagues. Then one day, I saw the girl next to me thumbing through a bridal magazine. I walked up to her and asked her about her wedding. She was more than happy to talk about it, and when I told her I was from St. Louis (where she was getting married), she couldn’t stop asking me Questions.
Preeti, 24, California
Imagine being stranded on a desert island with your coworkers. Scary, huh? But when you think about it, you spend just as much time with them at work as you would if you were all breaking coconuts over your knees in the South Pacific. Therefore, if you want to enjoy your job, it’s in your best interests to make friends with some of these folks. Work friends will be there when you want to grab a bite at the restaurant down the block or take a quick turn on the treadmill at the gym. They’ll be there when you need to commiserate about a project or vent about a new company policy. They may even be around when your world changes forever, such as when my colleagues and I watched the September 11 terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. Work friendships make the corporate world bearable, and you shouldn’t try to make do without them.
The ideal time to scout out potential work friendships is at the start of a new job. When your boss introduces you to the other members of your team, make a note of people your age who look friendly. Take them up on their offers to help you. Maybe you already know how to order business cards, but there’s no harm in finding an excuse to talk to your new coworkers. If someone asks you to get a cup of coffee, go gladly, but don’t jump at the chance for a friend so quickly that you end up spending all of your time with one particular person. Because you’re unfamiliar with people’s allegiances, you need to avoid aligning yourself with a single colleague or group of colleagues. In your first month, you should aim to know a little about a lot of people rather than the other way around.
Once you’re established in the department, make an effort to get to know potential work friends personally. This can be intimidating and even somewhat difficult if your office is full of cliques. It’s possible that a group of your coworkers will go out to happy hour and leave you sitting at your desk feeling like the new kid in third grade all over again. The only way to break through work social groups is one person at a time. Zero in on the most approachable person in the group, find out what interests him, and then weave these things into a conversation. For example, if you see that your next-door neighbor has a Nerf basketball net in his cube, you might ask him if he caught the Final Four game last night. People love to talk about themselves, so encourage potential friends to tell you about their lives. Listen to what they say, and talk about yourself only if asked. Doing someone a favor is also a good friend-making strategy. Suppose one of your teammates is frantically looking for a last-minute pet sitter while she goes out of town on business. If you live in her neighborhood, graciously offer to feed her cats. Your teammate won’t forget this act of goodwill, and will be likely to view you favorably in the future.
Sometimes team members will be nonresponsive to your gestures of friendship. Don’t take it personally. Your department’s culture might encourage people to keep to themselves, or you and your coworkers might not have much in common. If this is the case, expand your search to the rest of the company. Perhaps you should get to know the girl from accounting a little better. What about that guy who always rides the elevator with you in the morning?
In addition, check with human resources to see if your company sponsors out-of-office activities, such as sports teams, travel clubs, or volunteer and charity initiatives that allow you to express your sense of social responsibility. Sign up for “extracurriculars” that catch your eye, and commit to attend events. Once you’re there, find someone you know, and ask him to introduce you around. Remember, as with everything in the corporate world, new work friendships require follow-up. When you meet someone interesting, think of an excuse to drop him an e-mail afterward. You’ll remind him who you are and encourage him to make contact again.
A word on dating in the corporate world: Don’t go out with someone in your company unless you can handle seeing that person every day if the relationship doesn’t work out. Definitely avoid dating your boss or anyone on your immediate team. Even if you end up marrying that person, it won’t be worth the career complications. The best idea? Get your colleagues to introduce you to their single friends!
Work Friends vs. Real Friends
I will never forget it. I was standing on the corner of 43rd Street and Broadway in New York City with my coworker Laura. Laura and I had been through a lot together in the year we had worked on the same public relations account team. We had coped with ego-obsessed executives and unreasonable clients, and we had implemented innovative and creative ideas neither of us knew we had in us. Nearly every day, Laura and I had lunch together to dish about our projects and the latest goings-on in our personal lives.
Standing on the corner, I said to Laura, “I’m so glad you’re one of my closest friends.”
She looked at me strangely. “Alex,” she said. “There’s a difference between close friends and people you talk to at work. You know that, right?”
Laura’s response may have been a little harsh, but it taught me an important lesson about work friends vs. real friends: It’s easy to mistake one for the other, especially when you’re struggling to establish a social life. In school, making friends is as simple as walking over to the dorm room next door and plopping down on the bed. After college, however, there are no such opportunities. Because you might be too busy to go out and meet new people, the tendency is to target your coworkers. It makes sense. After all, they might be the only people you know who are your age, and you see them for eight hours every day.
Although many people use work as a springboard for building strong friendships outside the office, I wouldn’t assume your colleagues are your new best friends just because you take your coffee breaks together. Laura was right—there are differences between close friends who will be there for you through life’s tough times and people you hang out with while you happen to be stuck in the same building. You can spare yourself disappointment later on by noting the differences between a work friend and a real friend. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
• If your friend left the company, would you still be in touch with her in a year?
• If you had a personal emergency, would you consider asking your friend for help?
• Do you hang out with your friend outside the office? (Weekday lunch, happy hour, and business trips don’t count.)
• Have you met your friend’s significant other? What about her friends outside the office?
• If your friend received the promotion you were banking on, would you be genuinely happy for her?
• If you ran into your friend in the grocery store, would you be able to talk to her for 10 minutes without mentioning work?
• Have you seen where your friend lives?
• Do you and your friend have anything in common besides your age and your job?
If you answered yes to most of these questions, you might have found yourself a real friend at work. Take care of this relationship by making a concerted effort to spend time with your friend outside the office. You and your friend should also avoid working together too closely. Similar to living with close friends, being in business with them can sometimes be disastrous. Whether we like it or not, people can behave differently when money, power, and careers are at stake. Suppose you and your friend pair up for a high-profile new business project. Your friend could be the kindest, most generous person in the world after quitting time, but she might take all the credit and do none of the work. You don’t want to put yourself in a situation in which you must choose between your friendship and your career.
If you’re lucky, someone you meet at work could turn into a friend for life. It happened to me. My friend Kathryn and I started our PR careers in the same department many moons ago, and she later was the maid of honor in my wedding!
On the Outside
A few years ago, I was working for a dot-com. My younger coworkers smoked pot a lot, and I knew they thought I had a pole up the you-know- what for always turning them down. I really wanted to get along with them, so one night while we were away at a conference, I got high with them in a hotel room. I thought there was no way our boss would find out, but somehow she did. She told me she expected more of me as a senior manager. I was lucky I didn’t get fired.
Kim, 29, Washington
Happy hour, team lunches, holiday parties, you name it—there are plenty of opportunities to socialize in the corporate world. Partaking in these outings gets you out of sterile “Cube City” and allows you to pretend you actually have a life. The thought of free food alone is enough to put you in a good mood. So by all means, go to these events and have a blast. Just keep a couple of things in the back of your mind.
It’s tempting to let loose with your colleagues, especially when you’re out of the office. However, you should never let alcohol (or drugs) get the best of you. Remember how your college roommate said you were the biggest blabbermouth on campus after you’d had a few? Just think of what you might have to say about your job, your boss, and your coworkers if you get smashed with them. When your boss waves his corporate credit card, it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of free rounds on the company, so you should prepare for this situation in advance.
A few hours before you go out to the restaurant or bar, eat a hefty meal and drink plenty of water. Once you’re there, do not get drunk. It’s tough enough to maintain your corporate persona when you’re perfectly sober, but when alcohol steals your inhibition, you might find yourself saying and doing things you’d ordinarily consider big no-no’s. I’m not going to say you can’t consume alcohol, because we’re all adults. In fact, if you repeatedly shun drinking in your colleagues’ company, you might be perceived as weird or a loser. The key is to find the middle ground. No matter how much peer pressure comes your way, you should stick to one drink (two if you have a high tolerance). Pretend it’s Pepto-Bismol, sip it super slow, and it will last the whole evening. Take heart—you can still party with the best of them; just save it for your best friend’s tapas party or your Friday night poker game.
The good news is that drinking is not typically the focus when the boss takes the team out for lunch. The bad news is that you have to watch more closely what you say and do, because people are actually paying attention. When the group arrives at the restaurant, don’t sit next to your manager at the big table. You’ll look like a brownnoser to your coworkers. Plus, if conversations split off, guess who you’ll be stuck talking to? Also, don’t be the first one to order. Note whether your colleagues are ordering drinks and the price of their entrées, and then follow suit with a selection that is perfectly in line with what everyone else is having. And roll your eyes if you must, but I have to put it out there: Watch the table manners. Remember the dating rules your mother told you when you were getting dressed for your prom? Avoid talking while you’re chewing, don’t fix your hair at the table, and don’t order anything you have to eat with your hands or is a stain waiting to happen. If the group is sharing dishes, don’t hog, and put your PDA and cell phone away. Eating out with the team is different from eating out with your friends. Relax, tell jokes, have fun—but don’t forget that business is business, and you’re still on the clock.
And finally, there comes a time each year when the corporate world becomes a symbol of cheesy sentiment and material excess. Yes, it’s the holiday season. And while your coworkers are turning your floor into a red and green monstrosity, and the mailroom guys are lugging a 10-foot-tall menorah into the lobby, you are probably deciding whether to go to the company’s annual holiday party. For the sake of your career, you should make an appearance. And because your company is going to spend your raise on a dancing Christmas tree whether you enjoy it or not, you might as well make the best of the situation. Mind your corporate persona, and dress appropriately for the occasion. If you’re allowed to bring a date, treat someone you love (or someone you owe a favor) to a catered meal. If not, use the opportunity to get some face time with higher-ups you wouldn’t get to meet otherwise.
Your department might also have its own party. Relax—these are fun! Spare yourself stress by finding out in advance about the company policy on giving gifts. Hopefully, your department favors the grab bag—a convention in which each person in the group puts one small wrapped gift in the pool, and then leaves with someone else’s even smaller wrapped gift. If you’re supposed to shop for your entire group, however, keep your gifts thoughtful albeit slightly impersonal. You’re not required to give your boss anything, but it is a nice gesture. You should always buy the group admin something as a token of your appreciation for all of her help during the year. Departmental holiday parties often have a potluck component as well. Don’t panic while your coworkers are competing to see who can cook the best holiday fare. Go to the grocery store and buy a $2 package of Duncan Hines chocolate chip cookie mix, spend 10 minutes baking the stuff, and pass the goodies off as homemade at the party. I guarantee your colleagues will say your cookies are the best they’ve ever tasted.
Conversation Taboos
When we’re in our 20s, it’s natural to think that the world revolves around us. In the corporate world, this attitude can lead to paranoia. Suddenly, you’re afraid to talk to anyone lest he stab you in the back or underhandedly steal your promotion. Understand, though, that your colleagues are too busy with their own agendas most of the time to worry about getting you in trouble. So instead of staying up all night worrying whether or not your cagey workmate is going to spread rumors about you, follow these simple work conversation rules and rest easy:
1. Don’t spread gossip. This one is first because it’s the toughest to avoid. Dishing the dirt at work is fun, especially if you’re bored. Listen all you want, but refrain from contributing to conversations that could compromise someone’s reputation. Damaging stories spread like a conflagration, and being nailed as the source can be a career killer.
2. Don’t swear. Nothing taints your corporate persona as much as foul language. There are people all over the business world who spew curse words, and maybe your boss is one of them. If you’re tempted to join in, remember where the phrase “potty mouth” came from. In the corporate world, you don’t want to look or smell like you were anywhere near the potty, so don’t sound like it either.
3. Don’t be politically incorrect. Just because we all crack up when Saturday Night Live makes fun of PC in the workplace doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take it seriously on Monday morning. Realize that people are ultrasensitive about issues of political correctness and that, as far as work is concerned, you should have no opinions. If you’ve noticed certain stereotypes to be true, keep your observations to yourself, and make sure to steer clear of racist or sexist jokes.
4. Don’t talk about sex, drugs, or politics. I don’t care how liberal your office is or how convinced you are that your colleagues will understand your point of view, if you wouldn’t discuss it with your grandmother or your religious leader, mum’s the word in the corporate world.
5. Mind cultural sensitivities. If you know you’re going to be working in a foreign country or interacting regularly with people of varying nationalities, read up on the business customs and social etiquette in those regions so that you behave appropriately. For example, countries have different practices regarding giving gifts, asking personal questions, and standing in close physical proximity. Don’t assume that people understand slang just because they speak English, and never badmouth a country you’re working in or the culture or practices of foreign colleagues.
6. Don’t share secrets. Really need to keep a secret? Don’t tell anyone. If you need to preface a statement with “promise you won’t tell a soul” or “don’t tell anyone I said this,” you shouldn’t be saying it. The only people you can trust with secrets at work are the folks who fall into the “real friend” category we talked about earlier, and even then you should be wary. Think about it: Would you trust each friend in your close-knit college clan with a secret that could ruin your reputation if it got out? Exactly. If you absolutely must tell someone you’re looking for a new job, for example, call your mom.
Working Your Net
I still can’t stomach the whole networking thing. I was recently at a conference where I saw a guy who graduated from my school a few years ahead of me. I’d read something about him in the alumni magazine. He had an amazing job in my field, and I wanted to go talk to him more than anything. In the end, though, I was too self-conscious. Why on earth would this guy want to help me, and what right did I have to ask him anyway? I didn’t want to feel like a slimy car salesman, so I left. I knew I probably blew a great opportunity, but I just couldn’t make myself do it.
Manuel, 25, Colorado
A popular misconception among twenty-somethings is that networking is about getting a job. In reality, it’s much more than that. Michael Alexander of FindAMentor (www.findamentor.org) defines networking as “working a net to catch information.” It’s about establishing relationships that provide you with valuable feedback and allow you to make educated decisions. You do it every day without even realizing it. Let’s look at an example: Suppose within days of your move to a new town, your car breaks down. How would you handle this situation? Would you open the yellow pages and take your car to the first mechanic you see, or would you ask your colleagues for a recommendation? The second option is an example of networking. Think about why many successful businesses don’t need to advertise. They obtain new clients by word of mouth—otherwise known as networking!
The purpose of business networking is to gain information, increase your visibility in your field, and establish personal connections that will help you move forward in your career. Even if you’re happy with your job, you should always be looking ahead to the next one. How do you use networking as a tool to prepare for your career’s future? There are a few steps involved in this process:
1. Expand your business networks before you actually need to. Judith Gerberg, career counselor and director of Gerberg & Co. in New York City, recommends looking beyond your company for business contacts so that your networking will have lifelong continuity, regardless of the specific jobs you hold. She suggests joining professional organizations that you have a genuine interest in and attending at least one activity a month. At the same time, you should habitually ask people in your circle if they know anyone who might be a good contact for you. At its core, networking should be fun. If you seek out people who care about the same things you do, you’ll enjoy networking and won’t view it as a chore.
2. Know what you want from your contacts and what you can offer them. Many people dislike networking because they think that asking a stranger for help is an imposition. Remember that it’s human nature to want to help someone, and I think you’ll find that most people will be receptive, provided you approach them the right way. If you know you’re going to be meeting potential contacts, don’t just drop a pile of business cards in your briefcase and call it a day. Prepare for networking conversations in advance by considering what you need from the contact. Will a phone conversation do, or would you like to meet your contact for coffee or a meal? Additionally, Rachel Solar-Tuttle, coauthor of Table Talk, says that because networking is collaboration, every time you ask for something or meet with a potential contact, you should think about how you can help him in return. Listen to your contacts carefully so that you can glean insights about how you might assist them. Remember that networking is like karma—what goes around comes around.
3. Contact the person. When approaching a potential contact, be friendly, respectful, and brief. In Chapter 1, we talked about how e-mail usually achieves better results than a phone call, but if you are attending a networking event, an in-person conversation is often the best option of all. No matter how you make contact, always keep in mind that the person is doing you a favor. If he’s in the middle of something, don’t interrupt, and be conscious of his time commitments. When you sit down with your contact one-on-one, offer to pay any expenses associated with the meeting, and remember to send him a thank-you note afterward. Another important point—don’t be a stalker. Practice what I call the 3/6 rule—contact the person three times over a period of six weeks, and if you don’t hear back, move on to someone else who will be more open to helping you.
4. Follow up with your contact regularly. After a successful first networking meeting, it’s your responsibility to keep the lines of communication open. Did your contact give you any advice or suggest a course of action? If so, touch base every so often to remind him who you are and to keep him apprised of your progress. Be aware of his career moves, and make sure he stays informed of yours. Invite him to get together again, and, during the holiday season, send him a card with a nice note. Even the most natural networking interactions can be challenging if you’re shy. You might not like asking people for anything, whether it’s advice about a particular industry or for a piece of gum. I overcome my anxiety by talking to potential contacts about the aspects of my career I feel most strongly about. Should a networking opportunity present itself during an impromptu conversation, I make a conscious effort to be myself and stick to subjects I know well. When making a networking call, I jot down a few notes so that I won’t forget what I want to say. I schedule time for these in the morning when my energy level is high. I also make it a point to stand up during each call, because I tend to sound more professional when I do so. After several years of practice, I’m still nervous talking to people I don’t know. However, every time I do it and experience a positive outcome, I gain a little more confidence. I promise that you will too!
Using Social Networks
I’ve been on Facebook since I was a freshman in college, and even though I’m about to graduate, I thought about leaving my profile up as is. After all, it took me a long time to put that thing together and I’m kind of proud of it. But now my career counselor is telling me that I should be using my social networks to meet people who can help me find a job for next year, and she’s convinced that employers will actually be looking at what I have up there. I think I liked it better when Facebook was just open to your college network.
Social networking is the grouping of like-minded individuals online, and it’s is a terrific tactic for gaining access to respected individuals you probably wouldn’t have the opportunity to interact with otherwise. Most of you probably belong to Facebook.com or MySpace.com already, and there are others (such as LinkedIn.com) that are specific to the business world and even particular industries.
Assuming you want to use social networks to bolster your career relationship-building activities, Diane Danielson and Lindsey Pollak, authors of The Savvy Gal’s Guide to Online Networking, recommend that you start by researching where your colleagues and potential contacts hang out. Most networks also allow you to search by industry without signing up. For example, say Danielson and Pollak, if you’re looking for decision makers in the healthcare industry, go to a networking site’s search page and put in a job title (such as “healthcare CFO”). They also suggest taking a moment to check out the networks your friends and colleagues invite you to join.
Getting started on most social networks is pretty easy. You register for free and then create a personal profile that includes information such as your work history, organizations to which you belong, your interests and hobbies, awards and honors you’ve received, and the types of people with whom you’re interested in connecting. One of the best things about them is that you’ll never have to trouble yourself maintaining a Rolodex or address book again, as your online networking contacts will update their own information as needed.
As I briefly discussed in Chapter 1, make sure your social network profiles effectively portray your corporate persona. And yes, this includes monitoring your friends’ pictures and comments that appear on your pages. Among some other helpful tips from Danielson and Pollak:
• Meet first, ask later. When meeting people in a social networking setting, it’s best to develop a genuine personal connection first, and then broach the subject of how you and your new contact might help each other.
• Deliver what you promise. Do not try to make friends by promising follow-up you may not be able to deliver (such as guaranteeing a meeting with your boss or client). Overpromising and underdelivering is a quick way to lose friends and alienate new contacts.
• Manage your expectations. It’s unlikely that any one single networking encounter will result in obtaining a new job or new customer. Approach each connection with a specific, more tangible goal in mind, such as securing a second meeting or gaining some valuable insight or information.
• Use keywords galore. Most people looking online for service providers search by keywords, whether in a search engine such as Google or within a social network. Make sure to incorporate all the keywords someone might use to find you into your profile (such as database programmer, “Linux expert”).
• Publicize links to and from your profile. Include a link to your professional profile as part of your e-mail signature line so people can click on it and learn more about you. Within your profile, include the URLs of articles you’ve written, organizations you belong to, and events where you’re speaking.
• Take advantage of all your network has to offer. Each week, set aside 30 minutes to explore the network and its different services. For example, the first week, you might look for people from your alma mater.
• Peruse before you post. Each online platform—whether a social network, message board, blog, or listserv—has written or unwritten rules of engagement. Spend some time seeing how others operate so that you can effectively blend into the community.
• Watch your tone. Social networks and other online platforms tend to be sensitive toward posts that come across as condescending or sarcastic, and those that could be perceived as personal attacks. And when participating in global communities, keep potential cultural differences top of mind.
Before we move on, let’s look at the offerings of the most prolific business network, LinkedIn.com.
The Mechanics of LinkedIn
As the Website says, LinkedIn is an online network of millions of experienced professionals from around the world, representing hundreds of industries. When you join, you create a profile that summarizes your professional accomplishments and helps you find and be found by former colleagues, clients, and partners. By establishing a network consisting of your connections and your connections’ connections, you are automatically linked to thousands of qualified professionals. It’s a painless means to get introduced to advantageous contacts through people you already know and to create new relationships, identify service providers or subject-matter experts, land jobs, and close deals—in short, a networking dream!
In his book, I’m on LinkedIn—Now What???, author Jason Alba suggests the following best practices for making the most of your LinkedIn participation.
• Make sure you are showing enough information on both your public and private profiles. LinkedIn allows you to view your profile as others see it when they are not logged in. If you want to advertise who you are and why you are valuable, make it easy for people to learn about you without having to sign up or log in. Also, change your public profile URL from the default assigned value to something more descriptive (mine is: http://www.linkedin.com/in/alexandralevit ).
• If you don’t have your own Website, use your LinkedIn profile as an online resume. Put the URL in your e-mail signature and in blog comments or online articles you write.
• LinkedIn’s Jobs section shows you the connections you have within particular hiring companies. Use this information to network with these individuals directly instead of sending a resume to HR.
• Request endorsements from people you’ve worked with successfully in the past, and write them endorsements in return. Potential clients and employers are much more likely to contact you if you can prove that others have been satisfied with your work, product, or service. Don’t go too crazy with recommendations, though, as too many will diminish their value and credibility.
• Join relevant LinkedIn groups to expand your search visibility, and consider complementing a LinkedIn group with a Google or Yahoo! group for enhanced communication. The ability to search for new contacts within a LinkedIn group is particularly useful if you have a small or non-diverse network.
• Use the Answers feature to ask a question and invite your network to respond. Questions typically range from knowledge-based issues (such as “Does anyone know a good web-based survey tool?”) to help in finding a job (such as “Do you know of firms that employ environmental engineers in the San Francisco area?”). Asking a question once a month provides an opportunity to probe your contacts in a creative way. Choose the “best answer” to bolster the reputation of the person who provided it, and thank everyone personally who participated. In turn, if someone asks a question that you can answer intelligently, do so, as this increases your visibility in the broader LinkedIn community.
Entering the Blogosphere
Throughout the last couple of years, career experts have been buzzing about the necessity of having a blog. Their rationale is that everyone who’s anyone is out there participating in the online conversation, and that if you don’t have something constructive to contribute, colleagues and employers won’t be as impressed with you. Personally, I don’t think it’s realistic—or even a good idea—for every employable person in the world to go out and start a blog. For one thing, the blogosphere is cluttered enough as it is, and blogs that have no real purpose for existence will just muck things up even more.
You should write a blog because you have a unique opinion on an issue based on your own life experiences, not because you think it will make you more marketable. If you blog for the wrong reasons, no one will read it, and, for all of your efforts, you won’t increase your visibility. Secondly, not everyone is cut out to write and/or maintain a blog that requires a concise outpouring of coherent thought several times a week. Lots of people love it, but, to many others, it sounds like the modern version of Chinese water torture.
If you’re determined to use the blog medium to become an established expert in your field, or a credible potential hire who’ll appear attractive to employers and recruiters, realize that a professional blog is no place for irrelevant musings or runaway diatribes. For example, my readers come to my blog, Water Cooler Wisdom, expecting concrete career advice from the perspective of someone with a consulting practice that helps young employees survive in the business world. Tough as it is for me to accept sometimes, they have no interest in hearing about my day—unless I can use the story about the crazy guy I met on the subway to make a point about career success.
There has also been a recent backlash against bloggers who are cavalier with facts or attribution of sources. Be careful of this, and also read other bloggers in your field and cite their work so that the opinions you express are not just your own. Think about what your readers really and truly need to know, and then scout out facts and tips that answer their burning questions. Tie your posts to current events and news headlines, and populate your blog with enticing titles and frequently searched keywords so that it’s easier for new readers to find you. Network with other bloggers in your space (even the high-profile ones!) by commenting on their posts, and in return, answer comments on your blog in a timely fashion.
My final thought on this is that if you just want to write, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel with a brand new blog. There’s no shortage of already-established outlets just for twenty-something writers that would be grateful for your contributions!
Recruiting a Mentor
You may have heard that the best way to advance in your career is to find a good mentor. A mentor is a person, usually older, who can advise you on matters relevant to your career, and who offers support and direction as you progress in your field. Obviously, having a mentor is a good idea, but he won’t come to you. You have to seek him out and proactively establish the relationship. Doing this is easier said than done, because the best mentors are typically not your direct supervisors, and you may need to look outside your immediate department. Organizational psychologist Neil Stroul recommends that you observe powerful individuals in your company and approach someone who possesses a “generosity of spirit,” a natural willingness to go out of his way to help others. Ideally, this person will have already passed through the part of the career path that you are currently on, and will have achieved success by making smart decisions and learning from his experiences. He will be someone you like and admire, and someone whose values you share.
Once you target a potential mentor, how do you ask for his help? First of all, approach your mentor-to-be as you would any other networking contact: by preparing in advance. You should determine what you are looking for and devise a tentative schedule for how often you would like to meet. Make sure your expectations are reasonable, because the potential mentor is unlikely to agree if he thinks he will have to meet with you every week or act as a referee between you and your boss. When contacting the person, briefly explain why you are seeking his guidance. Compliment him sincerely, and ask if he would be amenable to an in-person meeting. Upon sitting down face to face, reiterate your thanks, and lay out your vision for the relationship. Read the person’s reaction. Hopefully, he will be as enthusiastic as you are, and the two of you can set up a timeline for future meetings. But if he isn’t, now is the time to find out. You don’t want a mentor who is meeting with you out of a sense of obligation.
Michael Alexander of FindAMentor offers some tips for making the most of a mentor relationship:
• Ask lots of questions.
• Practice listening.
• Answer questions truthfully. (When the truth is withheld—even a little—the information provided by your mentor may not be accurate.)
• Filter information consciously before accepting it as true and right for you.
• Understand your mentor’s desire to help, and take feedback you don’t like in stride.
• Respect your mentor’s time constraints and other commitments.
Don’t forget to show your mentor the appreciation he deserves for giving you the benefit of his experience. Follow up on your commitments to him, and brainstorm ways to help him in return. For example, one of my early mentors was a senior vice president at my PR firm. One of her favorite hobbies is yoga, so when she wanted to write an article about it for a healthy living magazine, I volunteered to edit it. Also, consider helping someone else. What’s the best thing you can do when you’ve been fortunate enough to find a good mentor? Become one yourself! By sharing your wisdom and expertise with someone less experienced, you can give back some of the goodwill your mentor showed to you.
Chapter 3 Take Home Points
Get to know your immediate supervisor early. Determine her priorities, find out what she wants from you, and brainstorm ways to surpass her expectations. Master the corporate social scene. In your first month, aim to know a little about a lot of people rather than the other way around. Once you’re established in the department, make personal connections with potential work friends. Understand the different types of friendships. Know that there are differences between close friends, who will be there for you through life’s tough times, and work friends, with whom you hang out while you’re stuck in the same building. Adjust your expectations accordingly. Expand your business networks. Business networking is a valuable tool to gain information, increase your visibility in your field, and establish relationships that will help you move forward in your career. Seek out new contacts and potential mentors whom you like and admire, as well as those whose interests you share...................Content has been hidden....................
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