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Innovative Potential. Third Factor: the Psychological Profile (I)

1. Personality and Translation of Reality (I)

Our innovative potential is conditioned by four personality traits: self-esteem, optimism, locus of control and orientation towards learning. All play a part in the translation of individual reality conditioning our behaviour. They effect the effort we dedicate to a job and our expectations of successfully completing it, and also on the thinking and emotions that go along with it, before, during and afterwards. In the field of work they have an effect on our degree of commitment, motivation and productivity. Therefore let’s start with a few lines about the personality.

The etymological roots of the word are not clear, but it is assumed to derive from a Greek word prosopon, the mask used by the actors in the ancient Greek theatre. Since that time, the meaning has developed considerably until now it is used to define the concept that best reflects the inner self, representing a pattern of cognitive, affective and behavioural traits that remain stable over time, affecting all aspects of behaviour.

In light of the scope and power of its influence, the personality has overstepped the frontiers of psychology and found a home in the field of business management, where it’s used to provide new techniques and tools for boosting motivation and productivity. Since innovation is essentially a human process, the research and literature that have risen around personality haven’t drifted far from that perception.

1.1. Self-Esteem

According to the dictionary, the verb “to esteem”, means “to appreciate, to put a price on, to value something”. Other definitions include “to judge, to believe”. Self-esteem is thus the value that we put on ourselves. It is not something that reflects what others think of us; it is the outcome of our own measuring.

It is helpful when trying to grasp its meaning to compare it with ‘self-concept’, an element that clearly has a different meaning, although often used as a synonym. A self-concept is the cognitive structure that reflects who you are. It includes how you see yourself. By contrast, self-esteem shows the judgement you pass on yourself.

It’s also important not to confuse self-esteem with narcissism, which would be a serious mistake. Narcissism means self-admiration to the level of pathology, or excessive love for oneself. Indeed, not only are they not synonymous, they are frequently opposites. A high level of narcissism is almost always associated with low self-esteem. Narcissism is a defence mechanism. In its acute stage it may be diagnosed as a mental disturbance: narcissistic personality disturbance (American Psychiatric Association, 1994).

Self-esteem affects every minute of your existence. This means that healthy self-esteem is essential for your life processes to operate on a normal footing. It functions like your immune system, providing strength and resistance. In fact, when your self-esteem level is low, your resistance to the adversities of life is also low.

Good self-esteem provides fortitude, energy and motivation. People with high self-esteem are more ambitious in all aspects of life, and have a greater likelihood of success. They seek to learn from vital experiences and are prepared to confront challenges. They appear resistant to collapse because they are happier. Indeed, people with healthy self-esteem are normally more optimistic and have a better sense of humour. Interestingly, they also seem to be more attractive than others.

By contrast, a low level of self-esteem is a well-known cause of physiological and psychological disturbance. Such subjects feel weaker and are more negative about their ability to confront their own challenges. For this reason they seek security and avoid uncertainty. They are also more vulnerable and find it hard to deal with everyday life problems. They are less happy, less attractive and less successful, which makes for a negative spiral that feeds back on itself and grows.

Abraham Maslow, the well-known American psychologist, summed it up very neatly, “satisfying the need for self-esteem leads to a feeling of self-confidence, worth, strength, capability and sufficiency, of being useful and necessary in the world”. As Eleanor Roosevelt, former US First Lady, put it, “Nobody is allowed to make you feel smaller without your consent.”

How does it come about? Why is it that some people have high self-esteem and others do not? How does it evolve over time? Can you boost your own self-esteem? How should you manage the teams’ self-esteem? Where do you start?

Children come into this world with psychological features established by their genes. But factors such as experience, social identity and the environment soon affect them. Although these are not the only factors, they are the most important, and require special attention.

Self-esteem is a concept largely built on images fed by past experiences. Especially significant are childhood experiences. A child who has had experiences that generated positive responses and reactions will tend to develop better self-esteem. Of course, we all have negative and positive experiences. Self-esteem is not the product of one or even a few experiences: it is the result of total life experience.

Self-esteem is also a feature of individual personality that is very closely associated with social identity. A person who identifies with a group will take on most of its characteristics as part of their own identity. Sporting groups, for example, show this very clearly. They take on the good, but also the bad, which is why such identification processes need to be monitored.

In the workplace the climate, culture and style of leadership and management also affect self-esteem. A “bad” leader – one who not only fails to stimulate self-esteem but seems determined to crush it – cannot expect positive results, at least as far as innovation is concerned. His team will not be motivated and will make no efforts. A good leader doesn’t forget how important it is and how it must be cultivated, or at least not damaged. The first thing that a good leader does is cultivate their own self-esteem.

It goes without saying that physical appearance and intellectual capacity may also affect it, but they are not determining features. What is a determining feature is the attitude with which they are integrated.

Self-esteem is an element that can and should be taught. It is something that must be cultivated. Sound self-esteem is something only you, yourself, can generate. People committed to nurturing it will succeed in raising it. This means that step one is to accept yourself as you are, with your weaknesses and limitations, and then to live with an awareness of what the future might hold.

I would like to relay something from my own personal experience. I was fortunate to meet some extraordinary professionals – managers possessing natural management styles that made me want to be under their tutelage and follow their lead, go where they went. Fortunately at the same time, I came across others whose self-esteem was quite eroded. I say fortunately, because I learnt a great deal from them. They taught me lessons I shall never forget (or repeat), and I am grateful to them.

1.2. Optimism

The dictionary defines this as, “the propensity for seeing and judging things in the most favourable light”. There are positive and negative events in every life. What makes optimists different is the way they explain their life experiences, because they choose to see the positive side of things, even when they are actually negative. They display an enthusiasm for life and what it brings, which makes them happier people. Because of that, it looks as though life is smiling on them.

Optimism affects your health (physical and mental), social sphere (family, love, friendships), and, of course, educational and work lives.

Optimism protects your health. Faced with uncertainty, optimists have positive expectations that all will turn out for the best (Scheier and Carver, 1985). This means that they are less exposed to stress and the likelihood that they will suffer from it is reduced. But there’s more. Studies were designed and undertaken to predict illness in healthy people, and empirical research showed that optimism is associated with fewer cardiovascular diseases, among others (Kubzanski et al., 2001). Similarly, people already suffering from an illness were shown to suffer fewer complications (Helgeson y Fritz, 1999). In short, optimists enjoy better health and live longer than their fellows (Carver, Scheier y Segerstrom, 2010). No better medicine exists to protect your health. And it’s free.

Optimism is very easy to notice and the reaction to it is almost always contagious. An optimist floods their life space with positive thinking and stimulates those around them. A pessimist, by contrast, carries thoughts of failure and doubtlessly perceives and probably replicates them in their vicinity.

Optimism boosts energy, so that optimists are normally more persistent, particularly in the face of adversity. Faced with a problem, an optimist focuses on seeking solutions and sees each failure as an opportunity to learn something. There exists a positive relationship between optimism and self-efficacy. What all this means is that optimism is a mental attitude found in successful persons in all walks of life. Pessimists, on the other hand, tend to build elements of personal blame into their explanations, especially when negative events take place. Phrases like, “Just my luck,” and “it could only happen to me” are very common in their personal discourse and can lead to even more pessimism and more sapped energy. When a failure occurs, pessimists concentrate on the mistake and seek what to blame instead of learning from the experience. In brief, pessimism filters reality, and prevents you from bringing all available resources into play. And this, naturally enough, will be seen in your academic and professional output.

Everybody possesses natural optimism, usually more easily observable in childhood. Some people seem to contain a strong predisposition for humour and happiness, while others lean more towards unease and irritability. This means that change is possible, but it will call for lots of personal effort.

2. Innova 3DX for the Psychological Profile (I)

Self-esteem and optimism have an obvious effect on your behaviour as innovators. They are a part of your thinking, the way you are: if the culture is innovative, if you feel at home in the company, if you’re lucky enough to have a great leader as a boss, if you’re a creative individual, if you have good technological self-efficacy … but if you feel pessimistic or perceive yourself to have low value, will you try to innovate?

It’s possible that you might and that you will but you’ll never give it your all. You won’t feel like it, won’t get it together. Your own personal blockages will prevent you.

In other words, these two personality traits can operate as powerful catalysts or turn into obstacles, preventing you from making use of all your potential as though your creative impulse were paralysed. This means that you have to take on new management models that consider human capital from this new perspective. It may not be easy, but it is essential if the innovation machine is to operate at full throttle.

Figure 8.1 Self-Esteem and Optimism Test

Instructions: score your opinion on each statement from 0 – 10, with 0 being the lowest score and 10 the highest. You may use decimals if you wish.

Self- esteem (Questions designed on the basis of the Rosenberg scale, 1965.)
1.	I feel comfortable with myself.	— — , —
2.	I know my strengths.	— — , —
3.	I like to take my own decisions.	— — , —
4.	I am a capable person.	— — , —
5.	I like being the way I am.	— — , —
Average score		— — , —
Optimism (Questions designed on the basis of the Scheier, et al., scale, 1994.)
1.	I look on the bright side of life.	— — , —
2.	I seldom feel sad.	— — , —
3.	Sometimes I just know things will turn out all right.	— — , —
4.	I see the future with enthusiasm.	— — , —
5.	I usually feel happy.	— — , —
Average score		— — , —

Result: from 0 – 3.5 (inclusive) very low, from 3.5 – 5 (inclusive) low, from 5 – 6.5 (inclusive) adequate, from 6.5 – 10 (inclusive) very high.

Figure 8.2 Psychological Profile Quadrant (I)

In the fourth quadrant you can find those who practice “positive thinking”. These are people who have high self-esteem and see the future with optimism. This is the mental attitude found among people who are successful.

In comparison, in the other quadrants, we find people who devote their time to looking for culprits, for who to blame and even courting problems. These are the people who practice “negative thinking”.

The power of both thought patterns is enormous, but only the first is more profitable. The best choice is obvious.

3. Insight Management, Self-Esteem and Optimism

3.1. Self-Esteem

Many years ago I was told a story about an eagle’s egg which had accidentally fallen into a hen’s nest. When the eagle hatched it tried to imitate its “siblings” in the way they walked, because it was the last and did not want to attract attention, copying them in everything, trying hard to do it well, but the fact is that it was a bit slow on the uptake and the others laughed at it. The time passed, and one day it raised its eyes to the heavens and saw a real eagle, majestically floating on the air high in the sky, demonstrating all its power and wonderful presence. The chick really wanted to fly, but it had had no lessons, and when it tried it fell clumsily to the earth, much to the amusement of its siblings who mocked it, telling it that it would never fly. And the poor eagle believed them, stopped trying and died like a queer and clumsy chicken.

It’s important to tackle self-esteem from the point of view of identity: in a world where strenuous efforts are made to shape people from a very early age, people end up believing what they are told they are, instead of spreading their wings and deploying their maximum potential in the direction that draws them. Everybody knows that child prodigies are often somewhat socially inept, even seriously neurotic, because of the difficulty of battling with a programming machine that attacks us on all fronts: school, parental upbringing, society, other children and even themselves, etc.

We should allow no-one to force us away from our identity, or to interfere with it. Have the confidence to spread your wings and fly, or swim, crawl, whatever suits you best, find your own speciality. And do the same with your children and staff. Support, encourage, stimulate, motivate and help, and observe the evidence.

If self-esteem is built around others’ expectations and social success, what lies within will remain imprisoned, inhibited and dependent on external prompts yet having limited contact with what’s inside. Where there is initial success, self-esteem remains falsely suspended from a brilliant self-image and then it becomes very difficult to reconcile that image in times of failure. But you should remember that failure comes to all sooner or later (at work, with a partner, boss, wife, children, friends, etc.). Narcissism and depression are in reality both sides of the same coin, and have little to do with healthy self-esteem.

Crises create an opportunity for reviewing past deficiencies that during times of abundance went unnoticed. Every day I meet more employees with brilliant CVs who come to me with serious self-esteem problems because no one is hiring them now, and their image, or market or exchange value simply foundered or disappeared, leaving price, value and self-esteem all confused.

The value and esteem in which something or someone is held should never be confused with exchange value. This subject is as old as the discussions between Plato and Aristotle, but in our consumer society we’ve lost sight of the frame of reference that shows what things and people are worth in our desperate efforts to anchor ourselves to a fantasy world of what the market once said they were worth.

The situation is quite obvious when you talk about real estate, but what happens when the crisis reaches people? Managers whose narcissism was for years flattered by high salaries and social recognition suddenly found themselves out of work with not so much as a job interview for two years. Their self-esteem crumbled with the passage of days, weeks and months. They spiralled down into an abyss that was noticed by possible employers who obviously did not give them a chance. They had never developed an internal frame of reference for perceiving their true worth, assuming their value was a function of the image they reflected back on themselves, and they’re still doing this today. This is a mistake.

Self-esteem must always be located within the intrinsic value of being. Just by virtue of the fact that I exist means that I deserve to be loved by others and by myself. It doesn’t depend on the fact that I earn x amount, or that I have so many people under me. That is all circumstantial. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t, but the value of a person continues the same. In any case, the narcissism of the beginning is as damaging as the subsequent depression. They are false perceptions of reality and they destroy relationships because they are based on assumptions of superiority or inferiority.

It is very important not to lose sight of the real value of things. Thus, when you are very much in demand, you should always be aware of the fact that you are no more, and no less than other people and workers. Knowing this will circumvent rampant narcissism or destructive depression, and allow you to carry on humbly working towards the right place. If you don’t, then life, like a Zen master, will come with its hard stick and show you as many times as it is necessary that your value is immense and has nothing to do with whom you believe you are, because this is different; it’s real, and it’s not an exchange value.

I want to make special mention of the loss of self-esteem that’s caused by workplace ambush, or mobbing. I don’t intend to explore this in-depth, but just want to mention that everybody whose self-esteem is based on images handed out by their boss is a potential victim. People who aspire to external recognition in order to love themselves may find themselves with a sick boss (sick through envy, demands, avarice, complexes, etc.) for whom nothing is ever enough, and from there on, the catch and the angler are one and the same. If you want to stay away from this one, then don’t take the bait. Just do your work as honestly as you can and clearly communicate what you can and can’t do. It will cost you to put up with your boss’s fears, but it will save your physical and mental health.

By contrast, I want to point out that in the mobbing war, both players are usually aggressors and victims, despite all appearances. The movement may start from above with a dreadful boss who is tormented with envy, gives no recognition, steals ideas and endlessly demands more, etc. He is someone who not only has no talent, he also has no self-esteem, because if he did, he would know how to support his team, and how to stand like a tree with majestic branches on which bloom beautiful flowers. If this doesn’t happen, sooner or later envy and suspicion appear and result in aggression that will soon enough become obvious to both sides.

There tend to be two types of response: one is aggressive, where you confront the boss and threaten him while the other is submissive, where you allow yourself to be humiliated in the hope of receiving approval that never comes. In either case, the conflict that fails to be resolved with the passage of time will serve to buttress feelings of resentment. This doesn’t improve the atmosphere. It thins it still further, turning it into a spiral of more or less well-concealed aggression. And that has tragic results for the victim, whose physical and psychological scars may last for years – as they will for the bully or wielder of power, who as a person, also possesses fissures and gaps.

Beyond the subject of self-esteem and how to contain and multiply it in all directions, is the subject of personal power. When I think about somebody’s personal power, I first think about where it is rooted. If you have power, but it has no roots, it isn’t worth anything. Think of a 150-foot-tall giant redwood with a half inch root. However imposing it may seem, the first gust of wind will bring it down. So if anybody wishes to enjoy their power to the full, apart from being physically well anchored, with corporal exercises and the feeling of weight in their feet, they must remember what and how deep their roots are. Roots are father, mother, grandparents, ancestors, hometown, language, country, race, etc. Everything that defines you and gives you body and presence of the kind you possess. The opposite – denying your origins – is to disagree with them or wish to be something or someone else. Doing that blurs and diffuses the picture and renders it confused, weak and frail. Could you imagine Nelson Mandela pretending to not be black? His power would vanish.

We must drive our lives from our gut and inject passion into all we do , while being confident about it. When you feel that your belly is full and that life proceeds from that space, it means you’re centred, you don’t need to go anywhere else to be filled, and your value doesn’t evolve from comparisons to anyone. You have no need to compete with anything or anyone; you are simply complete, you simply are. Acting from the gut also means being able to digest and contain the sound self-esteem I spoke of earlier. If your self-esteem is well constructed, you don’t ever fear loss when you work as part of a team. You can rely on the others as allies in an “enterprise” – in the sense of journey. The opposite is crazy – travelling alone and with no help – not only calls for enormous effort, but greatly reduces your capacity to survive in any walk of life.

Closely associated with this point is the heart. When you possess power it means you can do what you want to do, contribute from an abundant source, leave aside feeling impoverished or wanting. You feel capable of giving – which ensures that prosperity flows towards you, possibly in the form of people whom you wish to reward. Giving and receiving, or receiving and giving. As it says in Buddism, the Bible and many other places, “give and ye shall receive”.

There is no doubt that power would not be power if it were not focused in one direction, with one intention. If you locate existential longings, you should put your power to their service, express your own voice and command for that purpose. If you don’t find them, then look for them, rather than dashing about like a maniac in all directions. If you still can’t locate them then you must proceed in one direction, exploring, looking, making sure you know when and where the direction changes. The path passes through things as trivial as: What would I like to eat? Where do I want to sit? Where do I want to sleep? Am I thirsty? Listen to your inner voice. Without finding your centre on these questions you cannot start to ask yourself about greater issues.

If you continue to advance your concentration on power, you’ll see that the mind makes use of a double perspective: one is analytic, based on Cartesian logic; and the other is intuitive, where vision has another kind of depth, another form of listening based on a multitude of sensory and pseudo-sensory registers that it takes into account.

If you place yourself in the service of your own mission, yield yourself to it and relax, you will flow with life and make good use of your personal power and you will enjoy it.

Writing on these subjects may lead to poor readings, and in that case all I can do is encourage you to always question what you are doing with your power. It often happens that someone who is striving to evolve and grow, to be good or whatever you like to call it, will find that they are polarised at one end of their personality’s pendulum and will feel impoverished without swinging to the other extreme where, for example, selfishness might be a virtue in a specific context.

Here I take the liberty to share the story of my great-great-great grandfather, an Urrea like myself. He chose the road of religion and rose rapidly to the rank of the Archbishop of Tarragona, whereupon he set off to battle with “the Turk” in the Mediterranean in the middle of the fifteenth century. Here he ended up turning into what was certainly the first and last pirate archbishop in history, probably because, believing himself to be in possession of the Truth, and duly granting himself appropriate rights, he set out to sack and pillage wherever he could. The Pope himself, who pronounced an anathema on him, was unable to imbue him with a social conscience, and he continued to plunder “archiepiscopally” until it fell to King Alonso V to successfully call him to heel, and duly returned him to his see in Tarragona, where his standard still hangs in the cathedral.

This story, coming from six centuries ago might appear somewhat ancient, but quite to the contrary in fact, it is quite up to date, and needs airing to cast a light on true human nature.

We are all angels and devils, treading life’s highways doing good and evil with or without power or awareness. It is very important that you don’t start believing in the dress we wear, whether it be that of an archbishop, a politician, a doctor, a teacher, a fighter for equality or a therapist, because without exception, all are angels and devils.

We cannot help being reminded that recovering self-esteem and personal power costs a great deal, and that you must always be on the alert not to lose them. In a battle the lance which is anchored in the ground against the enemy who hurls himself upon it is deadly, because it never withdraws, and can be used again. The lance which is thrown afar may strike or it may not, but we have certainly lost it and its usefulness if we fail to recover it.

You must closely keep watch on who or what you bestow your power to: a work addiction, a potential mate, alcohol, sex or other drugs. It’s even possible you’d give it all up to indolence or even the narcissism mentioned earlier. Being aware of your power and self-esteem leaks is as important as, and possibly more important than, the way you win or recapture it

A good boss should be able to exercise his power as an authority in an impeccable manner, with concern for each and every one of those under his control. He should exercise his power without getting in their way and without causing obstructions. The opposite is foolish authoritarianism which is petty, weakening, limiting and which rottens the workplace climate and foments internecine struggles that don’t help.

I feel I should end with a word on self-esteem as seen through the gender spectrum. In Eloísa o la existencia de la mujer [Eloise or the Existence of Women (1945)], Spanish essayist and philosopher María Zambrano said that men need to create a character so that they can watch themselves live, so that they can get to know themselves, as though through this definition; meantime women manage to live without definition, live more within themselves, beyond the heart – directly – not needing to invent an alter ego as men do.

Almost 70 years after our beloved and brilliant María, we find ourselves constrained to suggest that things have changed. Many women have unconsciously taken on identifying with aspects of masculinity in order to compete the way men do in the masculine world of work. The pit has been dug, the trap set and the victims caught. Many – too many – professional women have lost contact with the experience of the inner life that Zambrano talks about, and have sacrificed their essential femaleness towards defending their position in a masculine world.

To conclude, this new century will witness transformation one way or another, with people incorporating their polarities (angel/devil, female/male, etc.) to a greater degree. The challenge matters, because moving towards internal and external equilibrium will lead to an evolutionary leap with repercussions on both personal and professional levels, but in order to achieve it we shall have to pay attention, work hard on our personal evolution, always question ourselves, and communicate and listen, either by ourselves or as a group.

3.2. Optimism

In our vain society, selling the ‘be an optimist’ line may not be the best way to go and might even be counterproductive. The image of vanity implies optimism, but it’s painted, so has become sweetened and false. “They hide the bodies under the carpet, take a couple of Valium and put a good face on it, because they’re optimists,” think the fake survivors with their wooden faces, gritted teeth and stiff upper lips. This is not optimism, this is adaptation, and it lacks grace.

Discussing optimism may even be counterproductive, since to write, speak or lecture about optimism with a view to convincing others may just irritate people who need to first complain, weep and work out their anger. We should be very careful in these times of crisis, when every family lives with tragedy in the form of a pay cut or a lost job, and if not your own, then that of a sibling, parent or child. Treat the subject with special care and tact, with yourself and everybody else.

Therefore let’s air out the proverbial room, open the windows and empty the drawers. Let’s clean what exhausts us, what’s dead, what doesn’t contribute. Purge your emotions the way it suits you, with therapy or sport or time with your friends, and do it until you don’t need to do it anymore, as often as you please. Then take a look at your circumstances – the cards you have to play in life – and learn to make the most of your luck.

If you insist on staring at what Father Christmas didn’t bring you, you’ll be a miserable kid your whole life. If you concentrate on what he did bring, you might feel grateful for it and consequently make your own contributions to life, which will undoubtedly be returned again and again in a spiral of positive feedback. Who gives, receives; who waits, despairs.

Adopting a positive attitude to life fills you with a passion to achieve more, always looking at the full part of the glass and working to fill it fuller still. By contrast, always looking as what’s missing leaves you even shorter and hence unhappy. The consumer society has a thousand and one twisted ways of leaving us with that feeling of unhappiness, because you can always consume something better, or at least something more expensive. Don’t be fooled, happiness has nothing to do with that.

Remember the body commands for good and evil: If you drag on with your head down you’ll see neither the landscape nor your next goal. Physiologically your chest will be constricted, your lungs will never fill completely, your back will ache, your stomach will shrink and the sensation of lack of energy and depression will meet to form a desperate feeling. Have a good stretch, look up, head held high, take a deep breath, stick out your chest and get moving towards life with strength, power and courage.

Optimism generates energy since it uses passion as its engine. It is intelligently economical and ecological, since an optimist doesn’t waste resources – but finds them within – and loses no energy, in fact, is more likely to generate synergy-type environments where there’s give and take, the kind that nourishes on many levels. Think, write and then remember: what are the things that rob me of energy, passion, enthusiasm and strength? If you can, do it, get down to the details and separate out the various levels: physiological, mental, emotional and even spiritual. Although many deny it, spiritual connections are great sources of energy, passion, confidence and optimism. When you’ve finished your list, don’t just toss it into a drawer. Put it up on the refrigerator. Review it every week. Take notice of it – you wrote it yourself!

Many people assume that an in-depth analysis must include diet, habits, company, atmosphere, etc. Remember that what is not added is subtracted. If you want to speed towards your life goals like a rocket, don’t waste any strength on the way. In my own case there were years when I felt half-asleep. I had no energy to attack big projects, particularly after eating. Once I did some research I found that I had dietary intolerances, and that gluten was not only causing my intestines to swell, it was also a toxin that forced my digestion into using high levels of energy every day that left me with none for anything else. Giving it the elbow was frustrating, since I enjoy a lot of gluten-rich foods, but when I gave them up, I started to feel much better and more energetic.

I’m not just talking about diet; I’m talking about intolerances, toxins, respect for your body and not endlessly subjecting yourself to tests. If you find you have to give something up, do it with affection and friendship, even allowing yourself the occasional treat if you must. I award myself a pizza or a few biscuits from time to time, which makes my journey less harsh and more sustainable.

Make your own review or list in your own way – it will be very interesting. I assure you that when I reviewed my energy sources and drains I found some surprises, like old connections, ex-partners, friends, even cyber-friends who, far from contributing, took up space, energy and time, generated noise and distracted me, subtracting from what I had available. The review also helped me cast my moorings away from ports where I no longer collected provisions – like circles, spaces, attitudes or customs that no longer nourished me. There is no reason why something that used to work will continue doing so, either professionally or personally.

Make a list that is practical, short, real and reasonable. You don’t have to work out an interlocking astral chart for each person with whom you work or operate in some relationship with; you don’t need a consultant to feng shui your house and you don’t have to cast the I Ching. If you’re accustomed or comfortable with that and know what you’re doing, go ahead, but it really isn’t necessary. Using much simpler details like listening carefully and checking whether you eat when you’re hungry, drink when you’re thirsty, put the light on when the sun has gone down or turn the TV down because it makes too much noise, you’ll gain a great deal, maybe enough to grant yourself the energy you need to achieve what you want to.

Changing the subject, bear in mind that all the internal work you do, of whatever kind, will go in the direction of optimism because that is where all of you, including your lighter and darker sides converges. You’ll not only discover your self-destructive tendencies, but also very common phenomena such as the “poor little me” fraud.

This attitude, which includes the “poor little me, nothing I do ever comes out right; poor little me, nobody loves me; poor little me, the boss doesn’t understand me; poor little me, I didn’t have a loving family; poor little me, they never pay me what I deserve” needs to be worked through and cleared out. If not, that voice becomes a real energy drain to your and everybody else’s energy. Initially it may seem that this victim mentality gets others to help you, but as time passes, people will start avoiding you, which will feed your idea that you’re a victim. Your attitude will drive them away and you’ll turn yourself into a self-fulfilling prophecy of a victim.

Working on yourself is hard, but it is extremely fruitful, since it helps you with the cracks in your self-esteem, fears, confidence in life in general and in yourself in particular. It also boosts your optimism and reinforces your sense of belonging to something greater (team, family, community, etc.) which will support you to build and grow.

If you experience problems with belonging and you still feel very much on your own, then be grateful for what you are given and the support that you do receive. I give thanks every day for many things, just like my grandmother used to do – from meals to services, my children’s teachers and the huge network of support I rely on. Suddenly I feel very small – less great, less self-sufficient, less arrogant, less “I can do it myself, I don’t need anyone”, and also less alone and more accompanied. I feel infinitely grateful for this whole network of people, great and small, who give me the feeling of belonging and who make the life I’ve chosen possible. My ego shrinks to a healthier, more humble and human size, and I recognize that I need others, which opens my heart to everything and everybody, and makes me want to contribute still more.

No one person could build the pyramids or discover America, but in collaboration with others it could be done. Remember that we all drive and are driven. Hence, humility and gratitude towards others allow you to not only see your own abundance, but to recognize each individual’s importance and keep your team duly motivated for new battles.

Before concluding, I want to mention some concepts that go along with optimism: resilience, fluidity, creativity and humour. Resilience is concerned with the faculty possessed by some to take advantage of even extremely adverse circumstances, so that by learning from these situations, they emerge stronger. This quality derives from the desire to never stop learning, which is a characteristic of sages and of the powerful who are not only never destroyed, but the ones who triumph via their persistence.

“Perceiving what is subtle is illumination, knowing your weakness is strength.”

Tao Te Ching

How does one become resilient? The Tao Te Ching does not tell you to simply put up with things or that you must be stronger; it encourages you to perceive the subtle, to know your own weakness, to make yourself flexible and soft. Remember this in extreme conditions and in crises, in situations where most people are scared and so pull with all their might, harden themselves and expose themselves to death, to breaking apart inside.

“Unyielding hardness is death’s companion. The soft and gentle are life’s companions. Forceful armies will not win. Trees unable to bend will ultimately yield to the axe. The strong and stiff will fall. The soft and supple will endure.”

Tao Te Ching

Flow, flow like water among rocks, seek your way downstream to pour out into the sea. Don’t strive to make it back upstream or in a straight line. This is madness and cannot be done. Follow the easy way, always favouring movement. If movement in one direction is blocked, take the other direction. To remove blockages, rely on creativity, go down to the well of emptiness with confidence, because here we all add and take away. You’ll be surprised. You’ll find that your resources are much greater than you thought.

And lastly, laugh. Laugh until the tears flow, or laugh in secret, but laugh. You’ll feel much better for it than when you cling to negative feelings and bad temper. Your body, mind and your spirit and those of everybody around you will thank you for it. If you feel you have no reason to laugh, invent one, laugh at yourself, at the situation, at how grotesque it all is, at what is inevitable, you can even laugh at death if you like. Laughing will help you to fill your lungs with good, fresh air all over again. Your tissues will be nourished, your circulation will flow better and the happiness levels inside and around you will multiply ten-fold.