Would you consider these four outcomes to be successes?

You've no doubt experienced similar scenarios. After all, networking, selling, seeking referrals and presenting are four of the most common 'communication situations' around.

So, if it was you who had 26 strangers' business cards, praise from a potential customer, an offer of referrals and a happy audience, would you think you'd done well? That your communications had worked?

At first glance, the four outcomes seem impressive. But, the only true barometer of whether communication is effective or not is what happens AFTER, and whether these AFTERs are enough for you.

So, 26 business cards is great, but does it grow your business? No. You've just turned strangers into non-strangers. Better AFTERs would be turning these non-strangers into contacts with whom you have a productive relationship.

Similarly, wowing a potential customer is a good start. But the only AFTER you want from a sales meeting ... is a sale.

An existing customer offering to refer you? It's only good if – AFTER your chat with her – she actually does help you get sales meetings with her contacts.

And a presentation that seemed to go well? Well, presentations are only effective if they achieve what you wanted them to AFTERwards – winning the sale, the Board accepting your proposal, and so on.

So, communication is successful only if you get what you want AFTERwards, as Fig. 3.1 shows.

In other words, your ultimate AFTER with these four situations is the right-hand column: to grow your business.

And that's what this book does – help you grow your business by communicating in the best way, whether you're networking, selling, seeking referrals or making presentations.

When you look at Fig 3.1, an important fact jumps out. As the author, column 2 is most interesting to me: after all, it's my expertise. I've structured this book around it: there's a main section for each of column 2's four areas.

Figure 3.1. Successful communication.

But, to you – my audience – you're focussed on something utterly different. You're ultimately interested in column 4. You want this book to help you grow your business.

Ans this difference is an example of the principal reason why verbal communication often doesn't work well. Because the speaker and their audience have different focuses. Whereas the speaker focuses on their expertise, audiences don't care what you say – they only care what they are left with AFTER you've said it.

So delegates on an Excel course are interested in the time they'll save AFTER the course, not Excel itself.

You're focussed on the car you'll able to afford AFTER securing your car loan, not the loan.

But hardly anybody focuses on the audience's AFTERs when they speak. Excel trainers understandably think their delegates only want to learn Excel. They don't.

Car-loan arrangers think the loan's all-important. It's not.

When I tell people about the audience's AFTERs being so critical, they often reply, 'Why doesn't anyone focus on them then?' You might well be thinking the same. The best answer I have is simply that most people assume that traditional communication is the 'right way to do it'. Because that's what everybody does. But that doesn't make it right.

So, since audiences are only interested in their AFTERs, the sequence in which you present your ideas is critical to ensuring audiences engage, buy-in and, ultimately, act on what you say.

But, of course, it's not simply 'think of their AFTERs, and you will be fine' (though it's an excellent start, and is something you must do). There are five other rules which underpin the communication process, rules I've been developing all my life ...

As you read in the preface, the rules governing how to communicate with blind people are totally transferable to business, because business people don't see things from your point of view.

This isn't just a hunch of mine. It's tested and proven. I know it's true because I've honed the techniques in this book for many years, in many different situations, with thousands of people, all over the world.

Now, given that speaking to business people and blind people is so similar, techniques that work with the latter will also work well with the former.

My mother and I have created the five rules of communicating with blind people. These have been refined and practised over the years. They are right.

And, now that you know they're totally transferable to sighted people, these are the five rules you must follow to have the maximum impact – and minimum jelly – when speaking to others:

Table 3.1 gives more detail on each rule, with an example of each from a blind person's point of view, and the reason why the rule is so important.

In many ways, these five rules are obvious. But, people often forget them when speaking. For instance, they don't put things in context for the other person first ... often because they're not always quite sure what the context is. Or, they don't ask what extra information is needed, because they're not sure what information will come out of their mouth.

Let's see how to apply the rules to business using the example of making a sale. Imagine that you've prepared a beautiful PowerPoint presentation, and the first bullet point of slide 1 says: 'We were established in 1922.' Does your date of incorporation obey the five rules?

Rule 1 – No, there is no context for the audience. They aren't sure why they should be listening to you yet. They can't see how your date of incorporation fits in with the overall picture. It is like saying to a blind person, 'There's a table 10 metres away.' The information might be relevant, but it's impossible for the blind person to tell, since she doesn't know where the table is in relation to her journey.

Rule 2 – No, it spectacularly fails the 'get into the skin' rule. Why should any customer even begin to care how old your company is? And, even if it did interest them a little, would they really want to hear about itfirst?

Rule 3 – No, this rule is about giving more detail on relevant and important subjects. Since your date of incorporation is neither, there is no need to expand on it.

Rule 4 – Not applicable. It's too early to tell, since you only ask if your audience wants any other information once you've told them everything you think they want to hear.

Rule 5 – No, you clearly haven't found out what is wanted, if the first thing you tell them is how old you are, rather than whether you are any good!

So, stating your date of incorporation first in a sales pitch fails four of the rules, and isn't applicable to the other.

In fact, stating your date of incorporation is rife throughout the business world, and I've never understood why. Your audience doesn't care. They just want to know if you can help them. If you were founded in 1922, does this make you better/worse than someone who was founded in 1921? Or 1962? Of course not. So, it's irrelevant and won't differentiate you. It's a great example of the jelly that people fling.

When Sir Alex Ferguson first became Manager at Manchester United Football Club, it was three years before he won hisfirst trophy. That's a long time for a club like Manchester United, and the English press were smelling blood. There were countless newspaper 'exclusives' relaying in detail how he was about to be sacked.

Sir Alex discussed the adverse press coverage with former Manchester United Manager, Sir Matt Busby, saying how every time he opened a newspaper there seemed to be yet another unpleasant article about him. He told Sir Matt that reading all these articles was depressing him.

Sir Matt Busby's advice? '

Stop reading them then.'

A great tip. And pretty obvious, really. But why is it all the best advice is so annoyingly simple?

Just as Sir Alex Ferguson needed someone else to point out a simple way to solve something troubling him, so too didI need the intervention of someone else to solve something I'd been wrestling with for years.

During my time teaching accountants how to pass their professional exams, I was often asked, 'Why are you so good at explaining things?' To which my inspired answer was always, 'Dunno. Just am.'

A totally unsatisfactory response. It made me wonder why I could explain the complexities of accountancy so people could understand it in seconds, but I couldn't explain to anyone – including myself – why I was so good at explaining things in general.

And then – just like Sir Alex Ferguson – someone pointed out the answer which, in retrospect, was so obvious.

I was talking to my mother about Beth McDevitt, a student of mine who had recently become a national prize-winner in her accountancy exam. I was telling Mum how pleased I was for her – Beth had worked hard, and thoroughly deserved her success.

Mum replied: 'I know I'm biased because I'm your mother, but you probably had something to do with it too. I guess you're good at explaining things to people because you're so good at explaining things to me.'

And that was it. I suddenly got it. It was so obvious – like the advice not to read newspapers if newspapers are saying horrible things about you. It was only then I realised why I was good at explaining things: because of all those years explaining things to Mum.

AFTERs and the five rules underpin successful jelly-free communication, whether you're networking, selling, seeking referrals or making presentations.

They work:

as you're about to discover ...