In This Chapter
When communication goes awry, the impact is often subtle, though no less time-consuming and expensive. For instance, in a recent survey by a temporary agency, employees estimated that 14 percent of their work week was wasted by poor communication. That's more than 5.5 hours per week — and more than 290 hours per year! Studies also show that managers spend 80 percent of their time communicating, and that 80 percent of work mistakes are due to miscommunication.
Communication is as important today than it ever has been. And we have so many different ways to contact and communicate with each other — from text messages and email; to social media and group chats; to online meeting options such as Skype, GoToMeeting, and more. The ways we can reach out and touch someone seem endless today.
Everyone makes real efforts to get messages across to family, friends, colleagues, business associates, and supervisors. But as these figures illustrate, many of those messages fail because they're unclear, inaccurate, or too long. And for every message that doesn't succeed, you waste time: repeating, redoing, reworking, and reorganizing. In this chapter, you discover how to head off those problems by choosing your medium and using it effectively, keeping your message direct, and asking the right questions.
Whether you realize it or not, you communicate in three main ways: words, tone of voice, and body language. When you communicate with someone face to face, you can employ all three forms of communication, dramatically increasing your effectiveness and speeding your way to the desired outcome. Skype and video conferencing services allow you to use all three mediums. When you communicate over the phone, you use only two — tonality and words — and when you communicate via email, text, social media, or instant message, you're down to only your words. So despite the speed and efficiency of email or text, sometimes a face-to-face meeting, electronic conference, or a phone call is the best way to address and resolve a situation.
How you decide which medium is most appropriate for the information or for your topic of discussion depends largely on the complexity of the information you're sharing as well as on the nature of the topic of discussion. When you have to communicate by email or text or telephone rather than in person, you need to make these channels work for you as much as possible.
As companies expand, merge, spin off, morph, and spread their influence throughout the world, an increase in meetings seems to be one of the side effects. And you can't outrun meetings simply by getting transferred to a remote office. Advancements in audio and video conferencing make even telecommuters vulnerable to meeting overload.
The purpose of a good strategic meeting is to communicate goals, identify objectives, seek counsel and advice, share knowledge, solve problems, and gain cooperation from others. Although I concede that sometimes just having face time with a group of co-workers brings value, it's not a good enough reason to hold a meeting. You may be better served to build camaraderie in another way.
A key skill in this new technology age is the ability to run video-based meetings on WebEx, GoToMeeting, or Google Hangouts. The value of being able to plan, organize, and lead collaboration when people are in remote locations will be commonplace in the future economy.
The value of the meeting, whether physically face to face or online face to face, needs to clearly meet or exceed the costs. Identifying the costs can provide a strong motivation to reconsider the need for a meeting when so many other communication options are at your disposal. My formula for evaluating the time cost is a bit more complex than simply adding up the hourly salary for all the attendees. I also figure the following:
After I add up all investment of company resources for even an hour-long meeting, the labor costs alone are often in the thousands of dollars for a typical meeting. So before you call a meeting, make sure that face-to-face communication is absolutely required to do one of the following:
Apply your necessary test to standing meetings as well. Sure, your department holds an update every week: same time, same place. But if you find that week after week, everyone drones off status reports or presents information others already know or can get in some other way, reconsider the value of the weekly commitment. If there isn't a significant reason to hold your meeting this week — or any week — come up with a better, quicker way to communicate.
Countless studies have pointed out the power and effectiveness of face-to-face communication. Face-to-face communication is best for situations where tone of voice and/or body language is crucial in determining how to respond. Here's some of what you can effectively do in a meeting:
For instance, if you're in sales and you sell a complex product or service such as MRI machines or consulting services, a phone call can help you book an appointment, but you should make the sale through a series of face-to-face meetings. Or if you're breaking up with your boyfriend of two years, meeting face to face to explain why you're kicking him to the curb is more acceptable in breaking-up etiquette.
If you're hesitant to call a meeting but it fits in one of the preceding categories, consider whether you can keep the meeting small or dovetail it into an existing meeting.
In my opinion, the telephone remains one of the greatest time-saving communication devices ever created. Certainly, the phone offers advantages over face-to-face encounters because you don't have to drive to get to where the other party wants to meet. You also avoid some of the technology issues with online meetings, such as inexperienced attendees, non-native technology participants, slow Internet speeds, and attention issues such as boredom or multi-tasking. And although many people feel email has overtaken the telephone call, I prefer the phone call because it's more personal, more interactive, and more adaptable. Here's why the telephone is tops:
Should the person you're trying to reach not answer the phone, leave a voice message — don't hang up and try a different means of communication. Voice mail offers myriad advantages that email, text messages, and messages taken by other people don't:
Numerous studies show those in the millennium generation prefer text communication. You might text a short version of your message, and ask them to either review the voice mail message or call you back.
See the “Corresponding Clearly and Confidently via Telephone” section later in this chapter for tips on leaving effective voice messages. And if you're in sales, be sure to read my book, Telephone Sales For Dummies (Wiley), for valuable advice on increasing your phone sales results.
As with all seismic tech changes, email has its infinite blessings — and its bitter curses. Email can help you get more work done, but it can also distract you from working. Younger readers may have only heard about the days when business correspondence was conducted through the mail. But those old enough to remember a time before computers and voice mail recall that the only way to get an immediate response from a colleague meant a phone call — and I'm not talking text-messaging. You had to actually talk to them!
It's hard to imagine a time before email. Sometimes, when I've just firmed up a speaking engagement with a client in Asia after one day of emailing, I can't fathom how I ever got anything accomplished! Even within my own staff, I can shoot off several projects, answer questions from a dozen employees, review a critical proposal from my top manager, send my sales team an updated status report, and forward a couple of resumes to the HR people — all without lifting my fingers from my keyboard.
Indeed, the email explosion has been one of the most significant advances in the world of work in the twenty-first century. The speed with which email communicates and the breadth of its reach, the efficiency in the ability to store, respond, forward, copy, follow up, and conduct business online is beyond momentous.
But for all its advantages, email is often misused in ways that result in inefficiencies, misunderstandings, and added time. Be sure the message is right for email; some subjects are better handled by phone or face-to-face, where you can gauge responses as you're delivering the message and add information through tone of voice and/or body language. Email is ideal for the following:
I have clients in the Middle East and Asia, which means that while I'm busy working, they're either done with their workday or sound asleep. Email allows me to keep our business deals flowing without getting up really early or staying up late. I send off my queries to them and get their replies the next morning.
Email can be particularly dangerous in situations where your response is strong or emotional. Who hasn't received an email or voice message that riled them up to the point of pounding out a ferocious email response? In most cases, this situation only ends badly. The blessings of email can also be its curse: Its immediacy gives little time to reflect and process. Never send an email when you're still angry, whether to your colleague, vendor, boss, or political representative. Give yourself adequate time to completely calm down before shooting off an emotional message.
That said, I'm all for using the process of writing an email to work through anger. The exercise helps you work off some of that emotional energy and serves to clear your head and think through your reaction and response. But where I put a stop to it is in clicking the Send button. Go ahead and write your email response — I suggest you do it offline so you don't inadvertently send — and then park it in your draft folder until you cool down some. If you reread it the next day and still feel justified, go ahead and send. But if you review and blush at your vitriol, you're saved the embarrassment of apologizing for your outburst.
Email: A little less conversation
Research shows that the nonverbal methods of communication are far more important to the message you put out than the words you use. Consider these stats (and check out the following figure for a visual of the communication breakdown):
When you communicate via email, text, instant message, social media, or private message, you lose the 38 percent of your communication that's transmitted by your tone of voice during a face-to-face conversation; and you lose an additional 55 percent of your message because your recipient can't see your body language — and you can't see your recipient's. Compared to face-to-face communication, email shortchanges you of 93 percent of your total communication! The 7 percent that's left is totally dependent on the effectiveness of the words you select.
Whereas many social media platforms have a plethora of emoticons, these fun images don't usually align as well as your ability to convey your own emotions. When you use text, instant message, or other immediate forms of electronic communication, you are down to 7 percent effectiveness in the words you select. The speed of communication is a clear advantage in text and instant message. These clear advantages of responsiveness and instantaneous communication are reasons to use text or instant message. Your communication has higher deliverability than phone or email. People tend to review their texts faster than email or voice mail. The ability to weigh the pros and cons of each method of communication to select the right one for the situation is a skill to develop in the new communication economy.
Your high school English teacher was right when she told you that length and quality aren't necessarily synonymous. Just because someone's lips move and sound emerges doesn't mean communication is taking place. To ensure that your audience fully receives your message, invest time upfront crafting your correspondence. Plan out questions, presentations, and even short conversations.
For impact, build your message with as few words as possible while still getting your meaning across. Keep the message short, sweet, and to the point. This section tells you how.
Many people are uncomfortable about following a direct approach, so they fluff out their communications with superfluous information or wrap the salient points in a veil of irrelevant niceties. The problem with this fluff is that it extends meetings and phone calls, confuses important issues, and turns a fellow employee's quick stop by your cubicle into a 25-minute tale about how the weather rained out her kids’ soccer game last night. You don't have to do away with social pleasantries — in fact, you shouldn't — but remember what you're trying to accomplish and what your time frames are. Gab is only as useful as it is meaningful.
Being direct doesn't mean being curt, cold, or negatively opinionated — it means that you're clear, concise, and professional, and that you convey a constructive and supportive tone, not a confrontational one. The distinction sounds subtle, but it matters greatly when you're aiming for the most time-effective response.
Don't try to impress others with your use of obscure words, phrases, and unnecessary technical jargon — it only blocks communication and wastes time. The result is confusion, hesitation, misunderstandings, and alienation from the receiver. Hearers may become quiet because they don't want to admit they don't know the meaning of the words you're using. Using simple and straightforward language to communicate complex ideas will make you look smarter and more gracious every time.
To maximize your time (and everyone else's), shoot for a succinct message but don't sacrifice crucial information in the interest of brevity. Ask yourself these questions as you craft your message: Who are you giving information to? What is important for this person to know? Then answer those questions — and don't be afraid to ask others whether you've missed anything. When you communicate directly, you let people know
Just saying no
One of the most crucial parts of being direct (and managing your time well) is saying no when you need to (and when doing so is appropriate). If you're swamped at work, for example, and someone asks you to volunteer to decorate the office for the holidays or to serve on the Thanksgiving celebration committee, the best response you can give is, “I'd really like to help, but maybe next year. I'm seriously under the gun right now to finish Project X. But please ask me again next year.”
If a simple no would put you in bad favor, such as when your supervisor asks you to take a side project that you don't have time for, ask your supervisor for help in reprioritizing your work so you can make the deadline instead of responding with a flat, “No way. I have too much to do.” That way, your boss sees your commitment to getting the job done, but she also knows that you're realistic with your time commitments and value your own well-being enough to set some boundaries.
Notice how the following statements improve by adding this specific information:
Almost all business situations — whether one-on-one conversations or group meetings — benefit from a beginning that's dedicated to creating or strengthening relationships. That's simply good business. Teamwork is what makes the business world go 'round, and good teamwork is built on positive interactions with colleagues, clients, and co-workers.
Use a little small talk to get people comfortable with each other and prime them for conversation. Some safe starters for any meeting or conversation include the following phrases:
I advise only a few minutes of conversation starters.
Use small talk only with people who have some sort of relationship with you — a current customer, client, employee, or friend. Don't ever use it with someone new. If you use these conversation starters with new sales prospects, for example, all they can think of may be “salesperson and what is he selling?” Not exactly the opening that you want to project!
During your conversation, read others and take your cue from their behavior. For example, avoid pursuing personal information if the other person is obviously uncomfortable. It's okay to let people be themselves — after all, you're working for positive relationships, which means different things to different people.
Be sure that your body language is inviting and open. Smiling can warm up the communication with the other person.
Obviously, body language isn't front and center when your conversation is via telephone, but you do need to keep in mind how your body language affects your tone of voice and ability to focus and convey a sense of energy. Here are some options that can help you project your body language into the telephone conversation:
If the person you're trying to reach can't or won't take your call, you can get a lot of information from assistants and front-desk people by asking questions — reconnaissance can help you make a sale or get the info you need later on. You may also consider dialing the wrong number — either one higher or lower than the number of the person you're trying to reach; if you reach a person who will internally transfer you, the person you want to reach may be more likely to pick up the phone.
If you get voice mail, don't give up and send an email. If you have the option of using voice mail, take it. It's more effective and possibly less intrusive than an email, text, or out-of-the-blue private message on social media platforms. Leave a message so the listener gains the full effect of hearing your voice. Properly used, voice mail can stand in for a personal visit from you in a lot less time. You can easily come up with a basic voice mail template you can customize, especially when you have enough insider information to tailor it to your recipient. Here are some guidelines for a productive working relationship with voice mail:
If a recipient has to replay a message several times to decipher it, he or she probably won't. This is especially true when leaving your telephone number. You must speak it slowly and at least twice. You know your phone number by heart, but the recipient doesn't!
The advent of email has forced everyone to focus on keeping communications brief, if only because so many people dislike writing and typing. That's all good. But as short and straightforward as email messages seem to be, they're also dangerously deceptive and easy to misinterpret. Studies indicate that more than 50 percent of those who use email say their business correspondence is misunderstood.
There's no getting around it: Email often leads to misunderstandings. For instance, a message from your boss may translate as curt or even displeased to you, when in reality he or she was simply rushed. A remark that would pass as playful humor in person can come across as an insult in writing.
In this section, I explain how to write a clear, effective email that minimizes the potential for misinterpretation.
Your Aunt Edna, of course, always opens your emails, with or without a subject line. But a potential customer or business contact is flooded with messages from advertisers and with other highly expendable email. You have between 25 and 35 characters to persuade the recipient to move your correspondence from the B pile (or the delete file) to the A pile. Make your email a keeper by tagging it with a standout subject line after you write the body of the email. Pull out a phrase or series of words that sums up the message.
As you decide what to write in the subject line, keep in mind that this line has two purposes:
In sales and marketing, one tactic I employ is to use a page-turner subject line: an unfinished thought that can be completed when the recipient opens the email:
Spam software programs identify some key words and phrases and block any email containing those words in the subject line. Steer clear of the following words and phrases (and their relatives):
The subject line gets readers to open the email, but as with people, wine, and birthday presents, it's what's on the inside that counts. Here are some tips for composing the body of your email.
Emails are most effective when they're short and to the point. If recipients have to scroll, the odds increase that they'll miss some of the information toward the end or feel so overwhelmed that reading your missive is a task they shift to the back burner. That's why many experts suggest that email messages should be about four paragraphs long or less — definitely no longer than a screen full. If you find you have more to say than will fit on the screen, consider these alternatives:
If you know for certain that you must include all information in the body of an email and that you need more than four paragraphs to house it all, remember that the first and last paragraphs carry the most punch. To make effective use of your presentation, follow these rules of thumb:
What if you're on the receiving end of a litany of questions in email form? Simple: Hit Reply (with history) and craft a short paragraph that explains that your responses are found below. Then respond right after each individual question — within the original message — in a professional but standout color so the original sender clearly and easily sees your responses. I frequently use red, blue, or black for my color — and if need be, green. This setup helps senders avoid scrolling up and down from their questions to your responses.
Because of their immediate nature, email tends toward the informal. Between friends and family, dispensing with punctuation, salutations, and even correct spelling may be acceptable. But in the world of business, it's a huge no-no.
Although you may have congenial enough relationships with co-workers and even some clients, my advice is to keep all business correspondence formal. These messages reflect on your professionalism and may end up printed out and passed around or forwarded to other businesspeople. Just like dressing for a job interview, it never hurts to keep it formal.
Treat an email the same as you would a paper letter, and follow these tips to maintain your professional appearance:
Email produces copies of your writing that you usually can't retrieve after you send it into cyberspace, so make sure everything you write is exactly as it should be. To ensure that you don't accidentally overlook any errors or omissions and that you'll get the response you're seeking (if any), follow these bits of advice:
If you're in a rush to get out a lot of correspondence, go ahead and whip through them all at once. But stick them the draft box and return to each with fresh eyes before launching them.
Before you hit that Send button, review your recipients and give your sending options one last review:
The key to finding out what you need to know more quickly is asking the right questions. No matter what your job is, good questions direct your communication through the veritable maze of issues, challenges, and distractions that pop up whenever two or more people get together to exchange information and solve problems.
When you pose strategic questions, you guide the conversation to make the most of the time spent. You also gain insight that influences how effectively you can move forward. Don't be afraid to ask as many questions as necessary to completely understand the situation. And don't stop asking until you have a clear picture of what's expected.
Maybe you learned as a child that asking too many questions was impolite or intrusive. Not in business situations! By focusing on other people and keeping them talking, you gather more information — information that can make you more effective. If, for example, you're in sales, ask questions that center around the prospect's DNA2: desire, need, ability, and authority. To shrink decision time, ask more questions. Before you discuss products, services, or solutions, construct a clear image of who this person is and what he or she needs.
Of course, you can't ask questions willy-nilly and expect to get the information you need. You have to ask questions that get results, which I help you do in this section.
Whether you're in management, administration, sales, service, human resources, or any other facet of business, preparation is essential. Your communication is far more fruitful if you think it through beforehand. To improve your chances of success, envision how you want the conversation to go before you initiate it. What's your ultimate goal? What information do you need to do the best job in the least amount of time? What specific questions must be answered? What are the potential stumbling blocks or choke points?
Amazingly, many people link organization and advance planning to mechanical communication. But planned is not canned. You expect the pilot who flies your plane from Los Angeles to Sydney, Australia, to be well-prepared before take-off, right? You take it for granted that he or she has checkpoints along the way. Without proper planning, the plane could end up thousands of miles from Sydney because it was a few degrees off at the beginning of the journey. It's just as easy to be off-target in important conversations.
There's a fine line between preparation and creative avoidance, otherwise known as procrastination. (See Chapter 16 for more on the topic of procrastination.) Five or ten minutes is typically plenty of time to organize for an important call. If you're spending a half hour to an hour preparing for calls or conversations, chances are you're putting them off rather than preparing for them.
The most valuable questions early in any dialogue are open-ended questions, ones that require more than yes-or-no answers. Open-ended questions allow you to gather information, thoughts, ideas, observations, opinions, and comments. You reach agreement much more quickly and easily through open-ended questions.
When you ask open-ended questions, you force dialogue and trigger the flow of information. Starting your questions with who, what, where, when, why, and how narrows the focus, defines the standards, gives you insight into what others are thinking, and outlines expectations. Here are some sample questions:
If you have answers to these questions, you can achieve the desired results faster — and ensure that they meet everyone's expectations. That's a powerful combination: better time management and more successful results.
Many experts in time management, sales, customer service, and management tell you to avoid closed-ended questions. I disagree. A correctly placed closed-ended question lets you take a reading: Are you progressing toward your goal? Are you moving in the right direction? Are you earning your customer's business?
A closed-ended question — one that can be answered with a simple yes or no — serves as a temperature gauge that tells you whether to turn up or turn down the heat. If you don't use closed-ended questions to test your progress, all you're doing is gathering more and more information without moving toward a conclusion. Here are some examples of good closed-ended questions:
Limited and strategic use of closed-ended questions can save time. However, if you don't follow a closed-ended question with another open-ended one, the dialogue often dies there. Follow that yes or no response with another open-ended question and keep the conversation moving.
Sometimes open- or closed-ended questions need clarification. This is especially true when you receive not a yes or no but a maybe — what's known as a conditional response.
Maybe is probably the most misunderstood response in the world. Depending on your level of optimism, a maybe can mean yes or no. If you're like Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh, you assume the maybe is a no. If you're a bouncing Tigger, you may take maybe for a veiled yes.
In fact, a maybe is a maybe until it's clarified. To do that, ask simple, direct questions that elicit a concrete response; if you're still unclear, ask direct follow-up questions until you get the definitive response that you need. The following are some examples of questions that can help you pin down “maybe” responses:
Don't be too quick to rush to take the next step without pinning down the maybe first.
No matter where you are in the questioning process, remain positive. Negativity can increase the time it takes you to mend gaffes, or it can stop the process altogether. A negative approach puts others on the defensive and squelches your ability to gather information. Asking positive questions, on the other hand, communicates that you anticipate a positive outcome. You're focused on the future, learning from your mistakes, and ensuring that you don't repeat them.
How do you put a positive spin on your questions? Here are some examples:
People like to talk about their favorite subjects: themselves. That's good! When people talk about themselves, you glean valuable information about them, their business, how they make decisions, what's important to them, their business relationships, their goals, projects, spouses, kids, pets — in short, what they think and feel about pretty much everything. You can also discover their needs, wants, and desires. What motivates them? If you identify their challenges, you can create opportunities to help them solve their problems. You may even discover new business or career opportunities.
After you ask questions, remember to actually listen to the responses. If you're talking, you're not listening; and if you're not listening, you're missing important information, spending additional time following up by phone and email, and frittering away minutes and hours you could use to work on your real goals. There's wisdom in the old adage that you “have two ears and one mouth for a reason.” If you listen twice as much as you speak, you reduce the time you invest with others to achieve results for them and for yourself.
What's my motivation? Getting input from your key actors
The point of a dream question is to help someone envision a better time and place where results are improved, goals are achieved, and problems and challenges are reduced. When you supervise people, asking dream questions gives you unique insight into their motivations and goals. The upshot? Connecting their tasks to what they want in life can increase their production during work hours. Some examples of good dream questions include the following:
Bonus: When you ask questions and engage people by getting them to talk about themselves, you're considered a brilliant conversationalist. If you want to get invited to more galas with the movers and shakers in your town, ask terrific questions — and really listen to the answers.