17

Making commercials

The purpose of an advertisement is to sell things. It is not there simply to amuse people or to impress the chairman; it is designed to move goods off shelves, cars out of showrooms, and customers eagerly towards services. The radio advertiser must use a good deal of skill in motivating a target audience to a specific action. The effective advertisement will:

•    interest

•    inform

•    involve

•    motivate

•    direct.

Many commercials are made by advertising agencies in conjunction with specialist production houses. They arrive at the station, mostly by email, or by downloading as a WAV. file with a password from the advertising agency’s server. However, producers may be called upon to make their own local commercials for which the elements to be considered are:

•    the target audience – for whom is this message primarily intended?;

•    the product or service – what is the specific quality to be promoted?;

•    the writing – what content and style will be appropriate?;

•    the voice or voices – who will best reinforce the style?;

•    the background – are music or sound effects needed?

The producer must also be familiar with the station copy policy and code of practice governing advertising. Regulatory standards form the essential background to commercial production.

Copy policy

‘I’ve bought the time. I can say what I like.’ Unfortunately not. A client does not have free rein with the station’s airwaves but must comply with a set of rules, a copy of which should be readily available to all potential advertisers. In Britain the Communications Act 2003 makes the issuing of such rules the duty of Ofcom, which is also charged with enforcing them.

The principle is that all advertising should be ‘legal, decent, honest and truthful’ and that nothing should ‘offend against good taste or public feeling’.

Ofcom’s Code of Advertising Standards and Practice, and Programme Sponsorship sets out the rules, including specific prohibitions on advertising that:

•    could be confused with programming;

•    is on behalf of any political body;

•    shows partiality in matters of current political or industrial controversy;

•    unfairly attacks or discredits other products;

•    includes sounds likely to create a safety hazard for drivers;

•    exploits the superstitious or plays on fear;

•    is on behalf of any body that practises or advocates illegal behaviour;

•    makes claims that give a misleading impression.

No advertising is permitted within coverage of a religious service, a formal royal ceremony, or a schools’ programme under 30 minutes. Programme presenters must not endorse a product in a presenter-read commercial. The Code lists those categories where central clearance of copy is required and includes detailed sections on financial advertising – investments, savings, insurance, etc. – alcohol, advertising for and by children, the advertising of medicines and treatments including contraceptives and pregnancy-testing services, charity advertising, appeals for disasters and advertising on behalf of religious bodies. It bans the advertising of cigarettes, guns and gun clubs, pornography, the occult, betting and gaming, escort agencies, products for the treatment of alcoholism, hypnosis and psychoanalysis. It also lists the current legislation relevant to broadcast advertising. The Code is essential reading for anyone involved in British commercial radio (see p. 386).

In the USA, radio advertising regulation is chiefly through the FCC Code and the self-adopted Code of the National Association of Broadcasters (see p. 385). This is similar to the Ofcom rules and has points to make about the use of the words ‘safe’ and ‘harmless’ related to pharmaceuticals, the presentation of marriage, and the sensitivity necessary in the use of material relating to race, colour or ethnic derivation. The advertising of hard liquor (distilled spirits) is prohibited. In addition to the National Code, network and local stations have their own policies that conform to State laws. Some of these are very detailed, defining terms such as ‘like new’, ‘biggest’, ‘factory fresh’ and ‘guarantee’. For an Asian example of a Commercial Code, look at All India Radio (see p. 386).

Public Service Announcements made available to charitable and non-profit organisations without charge must conform to the same standards as the paid-for commercials and also require approval by the commercial department. Stations may define the standard of language acceptable – where payment is on wordage there is a temptation for advertisers to supply copy in ‘telegraphese’. Copy policy is not a fixed and immutable thing. It goes out of date as standards and fashions vary. The commercial producer must therefore keep abreast of these regulations as well as being aware of changes in the law itself.

The target audience

Only on the very smallest station will the producer be required to sell airtime. The qualities of persistence, persuasion and patience belong to the sales and marketing team who will negotiate the price, the number of spots and the discount offered by the rate card. The placing of the spots will, of course, crucially affect the rate charged, and is something the producer also needs to know for two reasons: (1) because the transmission time must be appropriate to the intended listener, and (2) because it may affect the written copy. Clearly there is no point in broadcasting a message to children when they are in school, or to farmers when they are busy. Nothing is gained by exhorting people to ‘buy something now’ when the shops are shut. If you are selling holidays, who makes the purchasing decision for which type of vacation? What precise age buys what type of music? Which socio-economic group do you wish to attract for a particular drink?

To sell its airtime effectively, a commercial station needs to know about its audience. Through independent market research it has to show why it is better than its competitor at reaching a particular section of the public. What age groups does it attract? How much disposable income do they have, and what do they do with it? To what extent do they buy coffee, cars, furniture, holidays, magazines, mortgages or insurance? And what kind do they buy – expensive upmarket or ‘cut-price’?

If you are the manufacturer of kitchen equipment you want to spend your advertising budget where it is most likely to pay off. So which is the best way of reaching newly married couples setting up home? A radio station with a well-researched audience profile is much more convincing than an amateur with a hunch.

The product or service ‘premise’

In 30 seconds, it’s not possible to say everything about anything. So identify one, or perhaps two, key features about the product which mark it out as especially attractive. Choose one of these – its usefulness, efficiency, simplicity, low cost, durability, availability, value for money, exclusivity, technical quality, newness, status, advanced design, excitement or beauty. There are other possibilities but a single memorable point about a product is far more effective than an attempt to describe the whole thing. In the case of food and drink the key phrases may be more subjective – easy to prepare, made in a moment, satisfying, long lasting, luscious, nutritious, economical and so on.

Now develop a short statement that connects the product’s intention with a known and desirable effect. This becomes the ‘critical premise’ or consumer benefit, and often comprises a subject, an action verb and a result. Here are some examples:

•    Clean breath helps personal relationships.

•    Disinfecting your bathroom gives you a safer home.

•    A slimming diet makes you more attractive.

•    Serving rich coffee impresses your friends.

•    Driving while drunk kills innocent people.

•    Unsafe sex increases the risk of AIDS.

•    Inoculation against disease can save your child’s life.

•    An energy breakfast promotes a successful day.

This is the writer’s hypothesis and is the essential first building block for any radio spot. Before going further, test it out on other people – do they believe it? Does the action genuinely link the cause and the effect? Is the end result something that people in your target audience want? This brings us back to the point that effective advertising is grounded on thorough, relevant research. If the premise is shown to be true it is now necessary to connect the product firmly with it.

Whether the object of attention is a January sale, a fast food shop, a cosmetic cream or a life insurance policy, the client and producer/writer together must agree the primary distinctive feature to be sold – the USP, the Unique Selling Point.

It is important to consider the overall style or image to be projected. Is the impression required to be friendly, warm and domestic or is it unusual, lively and adventurous? If the idea is to convey reassurance, dependability and safety, this should be communicated in the writing, but also in the voicing and any music used. Every element must be consistent in combining to support the premise, and associate the product with it.

Writing copy

This is the heart of it, and it’s worth remembering two things: (1) well-chosen, appropriate words cost no more than sloppy clichés; and (2) radio is a visual medium.

The American copywriter Robert Pritikin has pointed out the value of specifically writing for the eye as an aid to product recall. He wrote a now famous illustration of radio’s ability to help the listener to visualise even something as intangible as a colour:

ANNCT: The Fuller Paint Company invites you to stare with your ears at . . . yellow. Yellow is more than a colour. Yellow is a way of life. Ask any taxi driver about yellow. Or a banana salesman. Or a coward. They’ll tell you about yellow. (Fx Phone rings)
Oh, excuse me. Yello!! Yes, I’ll take your order. Dandelions, a dozen; a pound of melted butter; lemon drops and a drop of lemon, and one canary that sings a yellow song. Anything else? Yello? Yello? Yello? Oh, disconnected. Well, she’ll call back.
If you want yellow that’s yellow-yellow, remember to remember the Fuller Paint Company, a century of leadership in the chemistry of colour. For the Fuller colour center nearest you, check your phone directory. The yellow pages, of course.

(Robert C. Pritikin, writing in ‘Monday Memo’, Broadcasting Magazine, 18 March 1974, p. 22)

Here the listener will personalise the images in response to the ideas presented – and the key point about this paint is not its value or durability – it is its yellowness. Everything is geared to communicate its bright liveliness – even the shortness of the sentences. On reading the piece any good producer will be able to hear the appropriate voice for it and, if need be, the right music.

Creating something visual to produce a memorable image leading to product recall demands great imagination – especially for the more mundane. After all, as an on-station producer what would you write for a local windscreen repair service?

MAN’S VOICE: You’re not going to believe this.
(Music under orchestral strings, urgent ‘thriller’ theme)
It was about two in the morning and I was waiting for the lights when a foreign looking woman jumped into the car. ‘Drive’, she said. My foot hit the floor. Five seconds later all hell let loose, soldiers were everywhere, tracker dogs, helicopters and armoured cars. I saw a rifle pointed at the windscreen. She grabbed me and literally threw me under the dashboard. There was a sharp crack and the windscreen gave in. Moments later, I was alone in the darkness – she’d gone, so had everyone else. On the seat I saw a card. It read simply, ‘silver shield’, they were with me in minutes. See – I said you wouldn’t believe me.
VOICE 2: For the silver shield 24-hour windscreen service just dial one hundred and ask for Freephone Silver Shield – because you never know when you might need us.
(Music: up to finish)

(50 sec)

(Courtesy of County Sound Radio)

In a few seconds of airtime the script must gain our interest, make the key point about the product (in the above case, immediacy) and say clearly what action the listener must take to obtain it. This is especially important for station-produced marketing promotions aimed at potential buyers of its own advertising spots. Here the voices wittily imitate two well-known cricket commentators:

Fx: Cricket atmosphere (held under throughout)
VOICE 1: Yes, hello everyone and welcome to Southern Sounds small-ads county classic. It’s a marvellous day here and interestingly enough, it’s 9–99 for 5 transmissions. Quite an incredible offer – how did we arrive at that, John?
VOICE 2: Well, it’s 9–99 for 5 transmissions, once a night for a week. And that’s the best small advertising offer in county radio in England since 1893.
VOICE 1: Quite amazing, and all we have to do is call Alison small-ads, during playing hours on Brighton 4 triple 2 double 8. (Fx: light applause) And here comes an advertiser now – running in with his cheque for 9–99 (Fx: bat on ball, applause) – and it’s superbly fielded by Alison small-ads – and it’s on the air in a flash – very good effort that, I thought. And so with the offer still at 9–99 for 5 it’s back to the studio.

(55 sec)

(Courtesy of Southern FM – station marketing promo)

Advertising based on familiar radio programmes obviously strikes a chord with the listener, given the right placing. The next example is a spoof on typical sports commentators – one of a series of ads parodying the style:

MAN 1: So you want to be a football commentator, eh?
MAN 2: Over the moon, Brian.
MAN 1: Right, well you’ve gotta have all your football clichés –
MAN 2: Ah ha.
MAN 1: plenty of drama –
MAN 2: I’m way behind you there.
MAN 1: and put your emphasis on – all the wrong words.
MAN 2: I’m sure I can, manage that.
MAN 1: Right – I’ll give you a bit of the old crowd.
Fx: Football crowd noise (held under)
MAN 2: (in football commentary style) And we go into the second half with the score standing at 1-nil. So the game really is perfectly balanced – and I’m not going to sit on the fence but this game could go either way. You could take the atmosphere and cut it up in a thousand pieces, dip it in custard and give it to the crowd. And there’s Gray – Aston Villa’s vibrant virtuoso who’s decided to take his nerve by the horns and stamp his authority on this game in those Nike boots of his . . .
MAN 1: (interrupting) Er – hang on, hang on. (Fx cut) What did you say?
MAN 2: Er Gray – Andy Gray the footballer.
MAN 1: No, no – you said Nike, I’m sure I heard you say Nike.
MAN 2: Quite categorically, yes.
MAN 1: Yes but you can’t mention brand names – OK? I mean what do you think this is – a commercial or something?

(60 sec)

(Courtesy of Grierson Cockman Craig & Druiff Ltd)

This approach, once the format, style and characters are established, is very effective in promoting the brand name. The time may come when, for a national product, the name need not be mentioned at all. The advantage is that the listener joins in the game and is almost certain to say the product name to himself – as in the famous ‘Schhhh . . . you know who’ campaign.

In the example below, Duracell batteries use only one voice – the same somewhat tired, ‘ordinary’, older man’s voice which was used for a time in all their radio ads, plus their ‘sound logo’, used on TV as well:

VOICE: As an ordinary HP–8 grade radio battery I have one great ambition – I want to be forgotten. If I’m remembered it means I’m dead. Admit it – that’s the only time you ever remember your batteries. You never ask us how we are or take us out for a nice walk – only the walk to the bin. Well you can forget me for 145 hours of continuous radio noise. But there’s a radio battery that can be forgotten for over 500 hours. Now that’s what I call forgettable.
You know the one – erm – oh well, wassisname.
ANNCR: Wassisname (logo Fx: big door slam)
No ordinary battery looks like it or lasts like it.

(50 sec)

(Courtesy of Dorland Advertising Ltd)

Voicing and treatment


Casting a commercial is a make or break business. Doing it well stems from having a clear idea of the overall impression required. Professional actors may be expensive but are much more likely than the station’s office staff or the client firm’s MD to provide what is required. They have greater flexibility, vocal range and, above all, are ‘produceable’. Once they know what you want, trained performers will produce consistent results – and you will certainly need it done many times, if only to get the inflections and timing – with effects and music – absolutely right.

Advertising for a charity generally calls for a serious, uncluttered approach. Listen to the example for the Marie Curie Cancer Care organisation on the website. And here’s another striking piece of no-nonsense writing without music or effects. The one voice has to be quiet, strong, tough and compassionate. It mustn’t be associated with any single professional or social group. The speed of delivery is important.

MAN’S VOICE: Our organisation currently has vacancies for people in this area.
Successful applicants will get no company car, no luncheon vouchers, no holidays, no bonuses, no expense account, no business lunches, no glamour, and – no salary. If you’re interested, and can spare a few hours a week to be a Samaritan, give us a ring for more information. We’re in the phone book. But please don’t phone unless you’re serious – someone else may be trying to get through.

(30 sec)

(Courtesy of Saatchi & Saatchi Compton Ltd)

Notice that this doesn’t give the telephone number to ring – ‘we’re in the book’. People don’t remember numbers, especially when so many devices dial automatically. The exception may be when your number is a word that spells out your product. A florist for example with the number 01223569377, can say ‘ring us on 0122FLOWERS’.

In production, vocal inflection, emphasis, pace and projection are infinitely variable. Even though you start with a clear idea of how a piece should sound, you might want to try it a number of ways. It’s generally worth asking your speaker what sounds right or comfortable to him or her. Should it be confidential and relaxed or more excited? What emotional content is appropriate? Should you ‘shout’, literally, to call attention, for example, to a new store opening?

Here’s a serious charity example that does include an element of humour – designed to develop some rapport with the listener.

POSH LADY (speaking politely): Oi Cancer, you malignant little neoplasm.
You’re nothing but an ignorant carcinoma.
We’re wise to your tricks you worthless haematobium.
We’re going to rip your sarcoma off and shove it so far up your flobula, your lympho-proliferative system won’t know its clonorchis from its vasculum.
Cancer, we’re coming to get you.
ORDINARY VOICE: Run, walk, dance, enter at raceforlife.org
Cancer Research UK’s Race for Life in partnership with Tesco.

(Courtesy of Mother London; www.focalpress.com/cw/mcleish)

There are times, however, when the end result is not the product of creative artifice and technique, but comes straight from reality. Here is the very real voice of genuine anguish – not an actress with words written for her – but the halting voice, careful and controlled, of a mother who had been interviewed after her son was killed in a road accident:

WOMAN’S VOICE: They were crossing the road again after getting off the bus – and this crazy car came from nowhere and just took Simon – and he was killed instantly apparently.
And I just knew when she said – I’m sorry, will you come and sit down? (voice breaking) I remember it so vividly.
When the police came and told us that he had been – erm – charged – they just told us what an awful state he was in, and – erm – couldn’t sleep, and was having nightmares, and he had a little boy of his own, aged five.
The best way I can describe it is that when I thought about what had happened, I was – I preferred to be me than to be him. Because I didn’t think I could live myself with the idea that I’d killed a small child.
MAN’S VOICE: Drinking and driving wrecks lives.

(60 sec)

(Courtesy of COI/Dept for Transport, DMB&B)

The serious public service commercial such as this in particular needs the right voice – one that registers immediately to have impact. The presentation must reinforce the content. Here’s a particularly good example of that, where the actual sound of the commercial is the message.

WOMAN: You’re four times more likely to have a crash when you’re on a mobile phone.
(simultaneously)
WOMAN: It’s hard to concentrate on two things at the same time.
(Pause)
WOMAN: You’re four times more likely to have a crash when you’re on a mobile phone.
(simultaneously)
WOMAN: It’s hard to concentrate on two things at the same time.
(Pause)
WOMAN: You’re four times more likely to have a crash when you’re on a mobile phone.
It’s hard to concentrate on two things at the same time.
It’s illegal to use a handheld mobile phone when you’re driving.
Think – switch it off before you drive.

(30 sec)

(Courtesy of AMV BBDO/Dept for Transport; www.focalpress.com/cw/mcleish)

Many countries run advertising about the problems of AIDS and sexually transmitted disease – sensitive to the cultural context. Here’s an award-winning British example from the Health Education Authority.

Music: Jingle Bells non-vocal (establish and hold under)
WOMAN 1 (friendly and brisk): If you’re wondering what to give your loved one this Christmas, the following gifts are always worth considering – Chlamydia, genital warts, or even gonorrhoea. At this time of year these little surprises are as common as ever, and although you may know of the need to protect against HIV, these other infections can be very serious despite sometimes showing no obvious signs. Using a condom of course can help prevent their spread. So whatever you do give your partner for Christmas, make sure it’s properly wrapped.
Music: (fade out)
WOMAN 2 (formal and authoritative): For more information about HIV or other sexually transmitted infections, call the National AIDS helpline on 0800 567 123.

(40 sec)

(Courtesy of BMP DDB Ltd/Health Education Authority; www.focalpress.com/cw/mcleish)

The producer has a range of techniques to alter a voice: filters, digital effects, graphic equaliser and ‘presence’ control to change the tonal quality or to give a more incisive cutting edge, compression to restrict the dynamic range and keep the levels up, multi-tracking and variable-speed recording to increase the apparent number of voices, echo for ‘space’, phasing effects for mystery, and so on. Beware of gimmicks, however. If one is tempted to use technical tricks to ‘make it more interesting’, check the writing again – are the words really doing their job? One of the most effective ads ever made by the authors was also the simplest. For a station in the tropics, its purpose was to sell a new iced lolly on a stick:

VOICE 1 (calling off): Hey, where are you going?
VOICE 2 (calling, closer): To get a Blums ice block.
ANNCR: Available in the best stores.

(5 sec)

Run fairly frequently, because of its low cost, the phrases – or versions of them – could soon be heard all over town. An ad has to be right for its own culture. No matter how clever or complicated an advertisement is, it is never good on its own – only in relation to what happens after it is broadcast.

Music and effects

The main role of music is to assist in establishing mood. The biggest trap is to use a track from the library simply because of its title. The label may say ‘Sunrise Serenade’ but does it sound like an early morning promise of a new day, or is it cold, menacing, or just nondescript? Music in the context of the radio commercial must do what you want – immediately. If in doubt, play your choice to a colleague and ask ‘what does this remind you of?’ On your own you can convince yourself of anything.

The right music will almost certainly not be the right length. If you want the music to finish at the end, rather than to be faded, some judicious editing will be needed under the speech.

This was certainly the case in a witty ad using Mozart to promote holidays in Jamaica – in a British context a sensible guess at the tastes of the socio-economic target group likely to be interested in this type of holiday:

Fx: Orchestra tuning up. Concert hall atmosphere
ANNCR (quietly): And conducting Mozart’s symphony number 40 in G minor – Arturo Barbizelli – looking tanned and fit from his recent holiday in Jamaica.
Fx: Applause, quietens
MUSIC: Mozart symphony No. 40 (4 bars) then accompanied by steel drums, calypso style (4 bars)
(Music under)
ANNCR: He was only there for a fortnight!
(Music up, alternating between classical and calypso style. Music under)
ANNCR: Find out about Jamaica – the island that warms you through and through.
JAMAICAN VOICE: Ring Jamaica Tourist Board on 01-493-9007.
(Music up and faded out)

(50 sec)

(Courtesy of Young and Rubicam Ltd)

As for effects, it would be hard to imagine a more dramatic use of sounds than this:

WOMAN: Each gunshot you’re about to hear represents a life lost to gun crime in the past year.
(Actuality effects – gunshots – 20 sec)
WOMAN: From March 31st to April 30th there’ll be a national gun amnesty.
It’s your chance to hand in any gun to your local police station – no questions asked.
Get guns off the streets.

(40 sec)

(Crown Copyright: The Home Office. Prodn. COI; www.focalpress.com/cw/mcleish)

Some stations were reluctant to run an ad as graphic as that, but in the event the campaign, run alongside press and website advertising, brought in over 43,000 guns and a million rounds of ammunition.

If the budget will run to specially commissioned music, however simple, you can clearly make it do what you want. Even a small station ought to be able to offer clients the possibility of tailor-made music – perhaps using a local musician with a bank of synthesisers. It can make all the difference – as with this firm of solicitors singing their own song. A comic, and memorable, idea which certainly gives the impression of its being a lively and ‘unstuffy’ firm.

(Music – upbeat piano accompaniment)
VOICE 1: I’m Underhill
VOICE 2: I’m Wilcock
VOICE 3: and I’m Taylor
ALL: Pleased to meet you
VOICE 1: We’re solicitors
ALL: and jolly proud of it
VOICE 2: in Wolverhampton
ALL: Waterloo Road –
VOICE 3: If you’ve a problem
ALL: then we can help you as only a solicitor can
VOICE 1: so that’s Underhill
VOICE 2: and Wilcock
VOICE 3: and Taylor
ALL: solicitors in Wolverhampton’s Waterloo Road

(20 sec)

(Courtesy of Beacon FM – station-produced commercial)

A word about adding new words to a well-known song. Parody is allowed so long as it is fair and not discriminatory. All published music used in advertisements should be cleared in the same way that the station deals with its other music. For ads and promos, performing rights and copyright societies will normally make special arrangements rather than insisting on details of individual use. Producers working in this area will find the various libraries of non-copyright music invaluable.

On a technical point, make sure that the music/speech mix is checked for audibility in both the mono and stereo versions. The point made earlier is crucial – it may not be satisfactory to broadcast the same mix, in terms of relative level, on stereo FM as on mono medium wave.

Sound effects, like music, have to make their point immediately and unambiguously. They are best used sparingly, unless the impression required is one of chaos or ‘busyness’. The right atmosphere effect to set the scene, manipulated and added to at appropriate points in the script – as in the ‘cricket’ example earlier – works well. Producers should not be misled by the title of an effects track or what it actually is. It is only what it sounds like that matters. And again, there is an armoury of techniques, from filters to time stretch and speed change, for altering the sound.

Stereo

Commercials that deliberately exploit the stereo effect are relatively rare. There is the British Airways example, which intersperses phrases from their music logo – the ‘Flower Duet’ from Lakmé by Delibes – using a sitar on the left and a piano on the right, eventually bringing them together under the speech line:

‘Listen – the world is closer than you think.

British Airways – the world’s favourite airline’

(60 sec)

(Courtesy of M & C Saatchi Ltd; www.focalpress.com/cw/mcleish)

Even more pointed is this advertisement for the SEAT Arosa car. It doesn’t make much sense on medium wave mono because of the two voices apparently speaking together, but it’s clearly written and nicely produced for FM stereo.

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Humour in advertising

We all like to laugh, and there is a perfectly logical connection between our liking an advertisement because it makes us laugh and liking the product that it promotes. The brand name endears itself to us by being associated with something that is witty and amusing. But the danger is twofold – if the joke is too good it may obscure or send up the product, and if it is not good enough it will not stand up to one hearing, let alone the repetition that radio gives. The answer lies in genuinely comic writing that does not rely on a single punch line, and in characterisation that may be overplayed but which is nevertheless credible. The good commercial has much in common with the successful cartoon drawing. Even so, exposure of such wit should be carefully regulated. It is probably best to create a series of vignettes in a given style, and intermix them across the spot times to give maximum variety. The listener will enjoy the new jokes as well as welcoming old favourites – further, the hearer will recall the product long before the ad gets to it.

Some of these commercials are full-scale dramas in their own right. As has been said in Chapter 21, if the station facilities and expertise cannot properly undertake this kind of work, it is better to succeed with something simpler than embark on the complexity of a major production such as this:

(American voices) Fx hiss of space circuit, bleep
MAN 1 (on filter): OK base, I’m on the ladder now. (Music: majestic, low level) This is one small leap for man . . .
MAN 2: Hank, er, just hold on there will you. (Music cuts) That’s ‘one small step for man’ there.
MAN 1 (filter): Er, yes sir. (To self) One small step – OK base. (Music begins) This is one tiny (Music cuts) – oh rats.
MAN 2 (laconic): Relax, Hank, just take your time now. (Music begins)
MAN 1 (filter): This is one big, small, step here, for one man to take off a ladder . . . (music cuts)
MAN 2: OK, Hank, you’re getting warm. ‘One giant leap for mankind’.
MAN 3 (filter): Hank, I’m getting cramp on the ladder up here, will you hurry it up please. (Music begins)
MAN 1 (filter): This is one small leap for a giant – (Music cuts)
MAN 2 (interrupting): One giant leap for mankind. (Music begins)
MAN 1 (filter): This kind man is a small giant. (Music cuts)
MAN 2 (testily): Giant leap. (Music begins)
MAN 1 (filter): This leap year is gonna be the best (Music cuts) – aah
MAN 2: Chuck, will you unload the Heineken bay and refresh that man’s speech please?
Fx (close): Pouring liquid into a glass
MAN 1 (filter): OK, I’m ready – run the music. (Music begins again)
This is one small step for man – one giant leap for mankind.
Fx applause up
Music: men’s voices sing slowly in the style of ‘Space Odyssey’
‘Heineken refreshes the parts other beers cannot reach’.
MAN 1 (filter; triumphant): The Blue Tit has landed.
MAN 2: The Eagle, Hank, the Eagle.

(85 sec)

(Courtesy of Lowe Howard–Spink Marschalk)

That’s a classic, but good humour is a proven way of developing listener rapport with your product.

Testing

Finally, before launching your ad you must test it. There are professional organisations that will advise you on testing but if you are simply making a one-off in-house commercial, play it to your family, your friends, your local club – see how they react. Does it make them smile? If so, are they laughing with it, or at it? Are they sympathetic to the essential message – in fact, what was the core message they got out of it? Is that what you wanted? Ask their opinion, find out their genuine feelings – does it motivate and direct them towards what you are trying to sell? If they think it second rate, you’re wasting your time and you must change it. You may think it clever and bright – just the thing for the product – but if someone hearing it for the first time doesn’t understand it, or thinks it’s puerile or too complicated, then it’s unlikely to work, despite the creative hours you put into it. It’s a hard lesson to learn.

A radio commercial is trying to sell a real product or service: the advertisement itself must therefore have reality, however outrageous its style. In the end, people must believe it.

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