Truth 41. Negotiating across generations
The Boomer stood aghast as he watched his Gen Y, 20-something colleague show up at the long-awaited, multi-million-dollar business negotiation wearing jeans and a t-shirt with the words “honey badger” emblazoned on it. The Boomer prepared for the meeting and brought out a lined parchment paper notebook, ready to share ideas. The Gen-Y kid was absorbed with his iPhone. Needless to say, the meeting was a disaster.
Negotiations between members of different generations can be more profoundly confusing than negotiations between people who don’t share a common language. Unfortunately, there is no Rosetta Stone—at least yet—that tells us how to deal with such generational differences. What do negotiators need to know? And, how much are you willing to adjust?
By the way, before you think that you don’t have to worry about prepping for negotiations with Gen Z—people born in 1997 or later—think again. Hannah Altman of West Bloomfield, Michigan, started her company, Hannah’s Cool World, at the tender age of 9 in 2010. Hannah is more than in her comfort zone using information technology, whether she is communicating with her customers in the United States, Canada, and the UK or designing her website.
For all practical purposes, there a five generations: Matures, Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y, and Gen Z. Most generations are known for key events—or flashbulb moments—that shaped their understanding of the world, how they deal with people, and their value systems.
Matures, born sometime before 1946 and also known as Traditionals, experienced World War I and World War II as flashbulb moments. Their early experiences involve sacrifice and putting aside immediate self-interest. Their negotiation values include personal sacrifice, compromise, and making steady progress. Their spoken word is sacred for them.
Boomers, born between 1946 and 1964, also known as the “Me” generation, put their focus on personal achievement and mastery of their life course. One of their flashbulb moments was Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walking on the moon. Their negotiation values are nothing short of win–win. The handshake is sacred for them. In their worldview, nothing is impossible and everything is negotiable.
Generation X, born between 1965 and 1985, is also known as the “Latchkey” generation because they came of age as their Boomer parents self-actualized by pursuing educational and job fulfillment. Meanwhile, Gen X’ers got used to third parties—daycare, nannies, and fast food. Also known as the “MTV” generation, Gen X saw the rise and fall of the cold war and the onslaught of mass media. Their negotiation values are highly transactional and often involve looking at what is immediate, as opposed to the long term.
Generation Y, born between 1981 and 1997, also known as the “First Digitals” or the “Echo Boom,” experienced the Persian Gulf War and the rise of the Internet. They watched young, edgy hipsters become millionaires overnight with their dot-com ideas. However, they did not grow up with iPads in hand and days spent on the Internet. To Gen Y, the hard work of the Boomers and putting in time and education do not matter as much as having 15 minutes of fame. Generation Y negotiators value speed and are used to having to adapt to change. When they negotiate, they are less interested in your facial expressions than they are in your apps.
Generation Z, those born after 1997, also known as the Millennials or the “I” generation, grew up watching the fall of the World Trade Center, the crash of the financial markets, and the intoxicating greed of financial moguls. They are not just comfortable using information technology, they often prefer it over face-to-face interaction. They are a generation that prides itself on multitasking. In negotiation contexts, they use their power by posting rather than confronting. Their networks are key. In fact, you can learn more about a Gen Z’er by reading her Facebook page than through a face-to-face interview.
Okay, so now you know what to expect. The question is: Are you willing to adapt and modify your behavior? Before you say, “Well yes, but I don’t know where to begin...” consider the following steps:
1. Hire a generational coach. Okay, that is probably not an actual job title, but find someone in your office of the era in question and quiz them: What are your biggest pet peeves about your generation? How do you show respect? Disrespect? What is the most interesting thing you have read? Watched?
2. Spend a day with your coach. Go to his chosen restaurant, watch his shows, and find out what he does for entertainment.
3. If you have time, set up a mock negotiation and go overboard with it—each of you acting like a caricature of yourself. If you can deal with extremes and stereotypes, you will probably fare much better in the actual throes of intergenerational negotiation.