CHAPTER 8

Understanding and Cultivating a Polished Personality for Success

 

– Albert Einstein

 

 

It is said that a strong building can stand well only on an equally strong foundation. Similarly an excellent career and a beautiful life needs a foundation of not only superb skills but also a good, stable personality.

A good personality is a result of good habits. Good habits are a result of good intentions and good intentions are in turn a result of correct thinking. You, therefore, need to think for yourself and decide what is good for you and then work upon it. Friends and peers can sometimes take you wayward by not being so thoughtful themselves and laying more emphasis on entertainment and in having a good time rather than applying themselves to self development. Therefore, you need to have the strength of character to resist the temptations of your friend group and know how to balance the two. Play and fun activities are important too for good overall development and sanity but if a majority of time is spent on them, the results can be poor preparation for the things that are ultimately more important at this point in your life like getting a superb job and making a good living.

There are certain building blocks of personality that are required not only during the selection procedure for a job but also to help you live a rich and fulfilling life in both aspects of it – personal and professional. Your professional and personal lives are not really as separate as you think they are and have a deep impact on each other. The kind of person you are in your personal life, your set of values, your virtues and your habits will have a direct effect on your professional life and vice versa. Your thoughts, your habits, your skills and your personality should have the qualities that are game changing! They should raise the level of the quality of your life and the competition for those around you.

A few such habits and skills will be discussed here to get you started. These will give you a good foundation and you can build more upon them later in life as you grow and progress. Although a lot has already been written in books and articles on all the topics included here, in this chapter we will touch upon only the basic foundation and habit forming ideas in a very simple and easily applicable manner. Here no big, complicated ideas and theories and all that confusing stuff has been included, just the very basic and important things you really need to understand if you wish to win the race you have begun. By understanding and internalizing these basic pointers, you can give yourself a jumpstart and your career a perfect take-off.

Remember, it takes only 21 days of dedicated effort to form a new habit. You will be stunned by the collective results of small daily improvements. So don’t just read this chapter, ponder on the ideas given, make a list of the changes you feel you need to work upon and make a conscious decision to form these habits - Now! Think of it as an investment of only a few weeks that will pay very rich dividends throughout your life. Investing in your personal and professional developments are the best investments that you will ever make. Make an honest effort to cultivate the habits you decide you need to develop and keep the practice of them in the forefront of your daily routine so that very soon they are an integral part of you and are helping you reach your goals.

Clarity of vision and goals

How will you travel if you do not know where you want to reach? It is like getting into a taxi and when the taxi driver asks you where you want to go, you have no answer to give, no direction to point. The taxi driver either will take you just anywhere or will not take you anywhere at all. Life is no different. If you do not know where you wish to go, it will either take you just about anywhere or it won’t take you anywhere at all. Very few people have the luck to be taken to good places by life with no efforts made and directions given. Most are not so lucky and end up in unhappy and unfulfilling situations in life. Are you willing to depend on luck? Are you very sure of good luck in life? Or, do you want to make your own life?

You have to be the director of your own life, the writer of your own story and the star of your own movie. You have to have a vision, a dream of what you want to achieve, where you want to go, the heights you want to reach, the distance you want to travel and what you want to become. Only then will it be clear to you what strengths and skills you have to find inside yourself or develop to make those dreams come true.

You also need clarity because to know what you want is half the battle won. If you do not know what you want, you will run around in circles doing this and doing that but achieving nothing. All your investments of energy, time and money will be wasted.

The saddest truth is that a lot of young people do not know what their dreams really are. They are conditioned by the family, the society or the peer group into wanting something they actually may not want. Everybody wants to be an engineer, a doctor, an MBA or something in the field of computers these days. Furthermore, it is considered okay to shift focus rapidly, which means, if you cannot be one thing with the least effort put in then it is okay to quickly go on to the next thing. This leads to wastage of efforts, energy, time and money, loss of motivation leading to frustration, a feeling of helplessness and is de-moralizing.

The First mistake – The most common mistake made while setting your goals is to look at what others are doing instead of focusing on your own interests, strengths and capabilities. A surprising number of young people set the same goals as their peers and friends. It is as if a collective decision is being made. How can you set a goal of a job, decide to join a particular course, take admission in a particular college, agree to shift to another city or work in a particular field just because someone else is doing so? Your goals have to be specific only and only to your interests, like and dislikes. Your friends and peers have chosen according to their desires and you have to choose as per yours and yours alone. This is not the place to follow the group.

 

What is it that YOU would enjoy doing most?

What is it that will fill your heart with a light and a longing?

What is it that will make you want to dedicate your life to it?

What work will not feel like work to you?

What work will make you want to get out of bed every morning with a happy jump?

What will send you skipping to the moon every working day and bring you back smiling?

 

The Second mistake –The second most common mistake is setting your goals as per someone else’s capabilities. Just because a friend is aiming for admission in a particular institution doesn’t mean you should also follow the lead and kill yourself trying for it even though somewhere inside you know you are not capable or suited for it. Maybe you are made for something different. You as an individual have your own unique set of skills, abilities, interests and creative energy. There should be no feeling of inferiority if you are not aiming for the popular and the topmost institutions with their eventual vigours if you feel it is not what you really want and that it will make you miserable in the long run.

People who are doing the job they love and enjoy and are doing it sincerely, to the best of their capabilities, are eventually as successful and happy as the ones who came out of the premier institutions, if not more. Setting your targets on the basis of someone else’s capabilities is an invitation for possible failure and disappointment in the future.

Do you not know what your own capabilities are? Set a target that is a little higher than what you think is your limit so that you work and stretch yourself towards it. When you achieve it, set another one further higher up and this way you achieve personal excellence by surpassing the limitations you have imposed on yourself step by step. The satisfaction thus achieved will give you a tremendous boost and encourage you to set your next target too a little bit higher and thus with each successive target, you will touch the peaks of personal growth and attain enormous sense of pride.

Once you do decide on your major goals in life, you have to break them down into medium and short term goals. What do you want to achieve this year? In the next two years? Five years? The further in time you go, the more loosely visualized your goal will be. There should be a loosely held image of what it will be like in 10 years because of the circumstantial uncertainties of life. Yet, there should at least be a directional path laid out to show you the way, to point your endeavors at. The immediate goals should nevertheless be laid out in detail and planning done accordingly.

Establishing priorities

Priorities are an excellent decision making tool. When faced with multiple choice situations involving several parameters, making a choice without a clear sense of priorities is not only very difficult but can also lead to wrong and poor choices made.

Everything would be so much simpler if there were not multiple parameters of success in life. But, since there are, they must be dealt with. A fully successful image is made up of several parameters like money, designation, brand name of the company you work for, the city you live in etc. Often it becomes very confusing and mind numbing trying to balance these out into the best equation possible. It would be best to understand this with an example –

Let’s say we have a candidate Ashok who has three job offers.

• The first has the highest salary offer but requires him to move to a city far away from his home town and family which will result in completely changed living conditions and food choices.
• The second job offers him less salary and the lowest entry level designation but is in a very big and prestigious company with good growth prospects.
• The third offer has sufficient pay packet, a good designation but the company is quite ordinary and unknown. It is in his hometown.

Now, this is a possible real life scenario. How should Ashok decide which job offer to accept? This is where personal priorities come into play. Here are the different possible scenarios in Ashok’s life and the decisions made accordingly –

• Ashok, for some personal or family related reasons needs to earn money quickly and for that he is ready to do anything required of him. Nothing else holds priority over his earnings at this stage in his life. It could be anything – death of the family bread earner, bank loans, need to augment family income or anything else. Maybe, Ashok wants to be financially independent. In this condition the first job offer is the most sensible choice.
• On the other hand, maybe Ashok has no obligations to earn money quickly, but can plan his career with a long term view. He understands that work experience with a big name will look good on his resume and he will get good jobs in future if he needs to change for any reason. Even if he doesn’t change, this company can give him a good career. Money and designation will come in plenty with time. The obvious choice here is the second job offer.
• The third job offer is ideal if Ashok needs to or wants to stay with his family and does not prefer to leave and go. Money, designation and company are not his priorities as long as they are sufficiently okay. His first priority is staying in his own hometown for whatever reasons.

This way, we see how priorities in life can affect our decision making and help us to make the correct ones. This case scene was simple but even in the most complicated ones; a well developed sense of priorities can help you make the right decision. Making right decisions help you stay on the path that is ideal for your growth and takes you straight to your dreams.

So, do take out the time to organize your personal priorities. It can take some time to delve, analyze and get it right. Do not hurry. Come back to the thought again and again and keep at it till you come to some clear ideas that you feel most comfortable with.

Time management

Time is a resource that we all have in equal measure regardless of the fact whether we are winners or losers. The thing about time is that it is finite, non-renewable and ever-advancing. It just doesn’t stop, whether you use it or not. You cannot store it for future use. This is why optimum utilization of this precious resource is a must. Your time and where it goes should be in your conscious control and you absolutely have to have a complete idea where it is being spent, in what activities and in what proportions.

Time, its constraints and the issues related to it are the primary causes of stress. Everybody wants to achieve the maximum possible and maybe more in the shortest time possible. Also work expectations and pressures can sometimes be unrealistic and thus cause stress. Consequently, everybody wants to have free time to just be, the possibilities of which are becoming more and more elusive in this competitive world.

Anybody who is in the race with an aim to win simply cannot afford to waste time. This, however, does not mean that you should be working on your development every single moment since rest, enjoyment and recreation are equally important too. People who do not switch themselves off now and then to rejuvenate themselves tend to burn out very quickly and fall far behind in the long term. Whereas the ones who are constantly on the entertainment track do not achieve much too. Therefore a sensible balance between the two is required.

So, how does one go about it? What are the tools of time management?

There are many books that you can read up on the subject if you had the time. There are several tools of time management that can give you an in-depth look into the subject. There are also many theories and tips to be found on the subject but basically it all boils down to three basic concepts without which all your efforts will be haphazard and non-productive. They are – Visualization, Planning and Pockets of time.

Visualization

What tasks do you want done? What do you want done today, tomorrow, within this week, at the end of this month, by the year end, in the next five years, next ten years and by the time you are 45 yrs old? What do you want done in these time scales? You should have sharp, crystal clear ideas of the things you want done in the immediate time period, semi-formed ideas of task accomplishments in the medium zone time period and some semi-gelled ideas of what you will have achieved in the longer time period. The latter because life does not always go as per our plans and we do take unexpected turns along the way but our general direction should still be towards our initial intentions.

Unless you know what you want to achieve and what you want to do with your time, how will you plan it? How will you know whether you are on the right track or lagging behind? How will you know you if have reached where you wanted to or not and whether you are a success or a failure?

Therefore visualization of your goals of the short term, medium term and long term is important. You can monitor your progress and decide if your time is being spent well. It can also help you in identifying whether the goals you set for yourself were accurate, under-ambitious or over-ambitious.

• If you are able to complete your tasks without feeling too free or feeling too stressed out and are happy, you have set correct and accurate goals.
• If you constantly feel there should be something more and so much more can be done, then you have probably not set your goals high enough for your capabilities. This means that you are not utilizing your potential fully and can do more. Re-plan accordingly.
• If you are constantly running from one activity to another, are stressed out and hardly have time for a breather, you have set goals that are demanding too much of you. Adjust accordingly and re-plan.

Planning

For good time management you have to have a clear view of your goals and the skills required to reach them so that proper planning can be done. Without planning, you will just run around and it will seem as if you are doing a lot but the result will be nothing. Unless your efforts and hard work progress in some organized manner, achieving your goals will seem an impossible task. The major long term goals have to be broken into smaller medium and short term goals which facilitate proper planning. Let’s understand this with an example –

Say you are in the final year of college and your major goal at the end of the year is to ace the selection process and get the best job in the campus placement drive. For this you know that you have to do well in your final exams, score very good grades and you also have to have optimum levels of general knowledge and language and communication skills. To achieve all this you have a time period of only a few months. How are you going to do it?

You will have to chalk out detailed time tables for daily reference, weekly reference and monthly reference. Some activities like academic studies, reading newspapers and magazines, listening to the news etc will have daily time slots, activities like sports, going shopping and visiting the library can have weekly time slots while going to see a film or having a day out with friends can be a monthly activity. This way you know whether you are on schedule, whether you are reaching your short and medium term goals and if due to some reason you go off schedule, you will know how to change, adjust, fiddle around a bit with your time table and come back on track by making up for lost time. Remember – the things most likely to get done are the ones that have been scheduled.

Make sure to make a time table that isn’t too tight. It should be doable and flexible. For example, it will be strenuous if you set a goal of finishing at least three books per month on top of the entire daily reading load you already have or if now you decide to join a computer course along side or you decide to train for a marathon! Overloading the day and keeping it tightly packed will leave you exhausted. This also greatly increases the possibility of wanting to drop out of the schedule and just give up the whole thing. Then years later you may sit and regret the decision which seemed inevitable at the time.

But, throughout this planning, have a clear understanding of your capabilities and plan accordingly. Don’t have a certain kind of time table just because someone else has it. Make your own as per your convenience but remember to be a little strict with yourself because you surely are more capable than you think you are – try it!

Pockets of Time

This is a magical tool of time management. It results in time found and tasks achieved where nothing previously seemed possible. These are hidden, unrealized pockets of 5–20 minutes throughout the day which normally go waste and can total up to 2–3 whole hours everyday! Learning the art of utilizing small pockets of time is like finding a treasure trove of the supremely invaluable resource called time.

 

Here is how it is done –

 

You are waiting for breakfast or lunch or dinner to be served and there are 10 minutes or so before it happens ... or

You are waiting for a friend to arrive and he is 15 minutes late … or

You finished what ever it was that you were doing and are waiting for your favorite program on TV to start in 5 minutes … or

You spend 20 minutes twice everyday on the bus or train … or

You take a half hour every evening over a leisurely cup of evening tea … or

You are waiting for your turn in a queue at the bank or the post office.

 

What do you do in these few minutes? How do you spend them? Do you even have a clear concept of how long just 5 minutes are and what can be accomplished in them? Do you realize that so many tasks for which we always bemoan that “I just don’t have the time for this” can very easily be dealt with in these 5-20 minutes? It’s just that we don’t even pay any attention to these ‘in-between’ minutes and let them go waste. They are not even registered in our internal ‘time radars’ and just slip away un-noticed.

Now, if you put your mind to it, you can come up with several similar instances where you have a few minutes which are not being utilized but should be. In these pockets of time, you can read a page or two of a book or magazine if you always have one nearby, you can catch up on the news, if you have a computer with internet you can clear out your mail or check out a site or two, you can fold up your clothes, you can settle your wardrobe, polish your shoes, organize your desk, tidy your room or do any of the scores of such small chores that otherwise you never seem to find the time for. If you are in a bus or a train you can read. At the bank or in a queue somewhere, you can do some mental tasks like plan your next day, mentally revise what you read that day, have a small extempore in your mind, attempt to describe your surroundings at that time in English if you are trying to improve your language or pick up a conversation with a friendly stranger and gain confidence in yourself.

There really are unlimited number of ways in which these few minutes can be put to good use instead of just letting them pass by. If you master the knack of using these pockets of time, you will notice that you are doing more and more in what will seem as lesser and lesser time. It’s almost magical. So much more is accomplished with ease and the sense of achievement at the end of the day is empowering.

Stress management and work-life balance

Stress is a state of being where one feels overwhelmed with work and life issues and trapped as if there is no way out. It may happen because too many things demand your attention and there isn’t enough time to attend to all of them, it may happen because you feel the results are not in accordance to your inputs and expectations or it may happen because you are simply not happy in your situation. Stress can also be a result of being under-skilled or because of a sense of underachievement in life professionally or financially. Lack of satisfaction in your job too can lead to stress.

Stress can ruin a life and suck the joy and peace out of it. It also affects one’s productivity at work place and relationships in personal spheres. What one needs to understand is that ultimately nothing related to profession is worth undergoing this kind of stress. Nothing materialistic is worth ruining a life for. It is okay to try your best at something and yet if not achieved, to change your focus towards another goal. Changing of goals is not a defeat of any kind, but a sign of intelligence that you are not wasting your resources anymore on something that is apparently in-achievable for you and instead are focusing them towards something new and more suited to you. This mindset can be a big help in keeping stress at bay.

Although fresh-out-of-college and young professionals are not yet trapped with the issues of work-life balance and harmful levels of stress of the intensity senior professionals tend to be dealing with, nevertheless, they do have their own variety of problems in this area. They are under the major stress of establishing a career of choice in this extremely competitive environment, keep up with the new emerging technology on an almost daily basis, be adaptive to the information overload, be innovative and creative at work and generally be smart and alert at all times to stay ahead of the competition. To this add the entertainment must-do’s and the play hard mentality that has become a sort of compulsion to prove that you are living the best of the latest life style available out there. Every activity indulged in has to make a statement to the peer group.

Money or the lack of it is a big source of stress. Young people are very competitive about money. Who has the most to spend and throw around? Who can indulge in the best brands, the latest styles and entertainment and food for friends? The ‘I want and I want it now!’ culture is stressing out the whole generation. Instant gratification is the norm and when not fulfilled, the person feels like a failure.

Under the modern life style precepts, it has become necessary to have every single moment of the day slotted towards an activity related either to work or play. There is hardly any time to just sit and be and recharge. This has a negative effect on productivity professionally and on happiness on the personal front. It also leads to early burn-outs and many people express a desire to just fall of the grid and since they cannot because of financial needs, things only get worse.

The know-all, work-hard and play-hard culture within the environment of competitiveness creates stress and the concept of work-life balance helps deal with it. It is good to have a pre-awareness of these issues and thus consciously work towards avoiding the stress right from the beginning.

Stress can lead to major medical problems physically and psychologically. The onset of these health related problems is being observed at younger and younger ages now and is an indication of rising stress at a progressively younger age. Many of these cause permanent or near permanent damage to the body and mind and have a deep impact on life style. Thus stress is best avoided or intelligently dealt with.

A lot of stress can automatically be avoided by having clear priorities, proper planning and time management. All of these have been discussed earlier. Clear priorities help you to focus your efforts in the right directions. Proper planning results in maximum output with minimum input. Time management makes sure you do not find yourself hassled all the time. These concepts put together prevent you from having unrealistic expectations from yourself and thus avoid the possible stress.

But, the more important tool of avoiding stress and having a pleasant work-life balance is making time for such activities that you enjoy and which leave you feeling refreshed. Such activities are recreational and recharge you with life. They fill you with enthusiasm, relax you and make you ready to face another day of work. It could be anything – a sport you play, long walks, dancing, listening to music, playing an instrument, reading, watching films, photography, writing, playing and spending time with family, hanging out with friends, learning something new, long drives, daydreaming, a hobby or anything at all from countless other possibilities.

It is important to remember to find time to indulge in these and to consider that time as an investment rather than a waste. A few moments spent in a recreational activity can keep you in good working order for a long time leading to success.

Poor health is a strange factor which is both - a result of stress and a cause of stress. Bad health will come in the way of your efforts and an average health will slowly decline coming to notice quite late when the modern day life style diseases start showing up and then cause you stress. Promise yourself to maintain top level health with exercise and good eating habits from youth itself. Corporate life can deteriorate health rapidly and when it is time to enjoy the fruits of a life lived in hard work, it usually is also time to fall prey to life style and age related diseases. Read, study and learn about these and how to avoid them and take good care of your body. This way you will be able to work hard and play hard enjoyably.

Nothing is more precious than family. Family life is a major force in our lives. Having good relationships, nurturing them and giving them time and attention makes for a happy and fulfilled life. In extreme situations it is always advisable to choose family over profession. Having relationships that are fulfilling, balanced, understanding and loving will tide you over any of the worst stressful situations. How to maintain such relationships and family bonds is a vast topic in itself and needs a separate volume to deal with it, therefore, here it suffices to say that family and friends can be excellent cushions for stressful times but on the other hand can also be causes of stress if not prioritized and handled with care. So, do think carefully and work towards your relationships accordingly.

A lot has been written on stress and related issues and there are plenty of volumes that can be consulted if one is dealing with a serious condition of it. This book endeavors to give you only the starter points and the basic understanding of the topic as a young individual. Therefore, these stress reducing points can be summarized as –

• Understand and prioritize your needs and desires. Know clear answers to the question – What do you want? Base your goals on these.
• Plan your short term, medium term and long term routines well and follow them. Remember to keep them flexible and receptive to any emergencies or major interferences.
• Adopt principles of time management and make them your habits, your tools.
• Slot in recreational time in your routine and just enjoy yourself as often as possible. Take care that enjoyment is not at the cost of work and work is not at the cost of enjoyment. Strive towards a balance that feels good to you.
• Maintain excellent health. A healthy body is often the greatest wealth. It helps you to work hard and also enjoy your free time in the best way.
• Give consideration and value to family, friends and other relationships. Share your problems and share others problems too. Remember, people will always remember how you made them feel and value you accordingly.
• Meet interesting people of all ages and talk to them, read good books and internalize the various interesting concepts in them to be in touch with all the varied aspects of life.
• Take very good care of your spiritual life. A person who is well grounded spiritually finds it easier to deal with stress and live a calm and peaceful life.
• Learn and practice relaxation techniques especially if you feel you are prone to taking undue tension over things. Learn about deep breathing, meditation, visualization and other such techniques.
• To fail at something does not mean you are a failure, it just means that you have not succeeded yet and need to try harder. Do not take failure in anything as an indication of failure for ever. Don’t make it your personal definition. Try harder and more sincerely and if yet you don’t succeed, go on to another alternative goal. There is no value in putting yourself through stress because of it. There are many other things that can be accomplished in life. Learn to make peace with this idea.
• To be competitive is good but to only a certain extent. If you find yourself carrying too much tension in the name of competition, it is advisable to let it go. Competition should be within a healthy range where you are not overwhelmed by it. When you let competition rule you, you are actually behaving from a state of ego which forces you to see a setback as a defeat or as an insult. Learn to recognize it and evaluate its worth in the larger picture of life.

Constantly upgrading yourself

The journey of personal growth is never ending. Whenever we think that we have reached, we have arrived, almost immediately there is something more, something newer to learn. There is always scope for improvement since human potential is limitless. Of course, this does not mean that you take this to the point of extreme stress, just that you need to be sure that you are not lagging behind and harming yourself professionally and have not left any potential unexplored. Once you have mastered something, don’t stop there. Surpass yourself and see what it does to your self-esteem!

It is said that change is the only constant and this is quite true. Nothing is static. What worked yesterday has probably become obsolete today. Everything keeps changing at different paces. Newer technologies come in, newer concepts, newer methodologies and newer systems. New knowledge is created in every field in real time. If you don’t keep up with these changes and upgrade yourself on a regular basis, you will be left behind. There are instances of people becoming redundant and losing their jobs or not getting promotions and good postings or not landing good jobs only because they were stagnant in their skills and knowledge content.

The idea is to always have something more to offer a prospective employer, to have a USP (unique selling proposition), to have an upper hand over the other hopeful candidates. The employer should feel that he is getting a better deal if he employs you over all the others. If you constantly upgrade yourself, you stay on top of the competition.

But there is no need to fear. This is a great time for learning. The learning possibilities are astonishingly quick and easy with the internet, the connectivity and the media. What is required of you is to be on a lookout for new stuff happening in your field and also the meaningfully related ones. The phrases ‘keep your eyes and ears open’ and ‘keep your radars switched on’ work well here. Be alert to any changes, any advances and any shifts in your field of work. There can be many ways of doing this –

• Identify your trade journals. Every field has informative journals or newsletters released on a regular basis. Make sure to subscribe to them and read them.
• Make sure to read your company newsletters and circulars. There usually is news about latest happenings in them.
• Apply for any new methodology training programs.
• Re-educate and re-train yourself as and when required. Learn new skills even if you have to do it in your own capacity.
• Maintain a network of friendly people all over the industry who can knowingly or unknowingly keep you updated on the latest happenings.
• Be a part of the unofficial grapevine in your work place. This is crucial as not being a part of this can leave you isolated and ignorant to important bits and pieces of news. Office grapevines are great sources of information.
• Be an active part of social groups because a lot of information leaks happen here specially of the otherwise confidential kind.
• If there are any organizations, clubs, associations or any such sort of groups in your field, be a member of it.
• Of course, the need to be in the constant news loop cannot be emphasized enough.

Emotional stability

A person is considered to be emotionally stable when he acts and reacts to various situations in daily life in a balanced, reasonable and calm manner regardless of the fact that those situations are fair or unfair, known or unknown, mundane or new, harmless or potentially dangerous. When a person maintains his cool and is not easily shaken he is considered stable. He does not panic at every little thing, at any change from the routine and does not feel lost easily when his familiar environment is modified in any way. His confidence and grounding is not easily shaken and he adapts very quickly to anything new. Such a person does not think that the world is out to get him, everybody is against him and that he has to fight the entire world. He is not manic.

Emotionally healthy people have high efficiency, are able to manage stress better and make good leaders. They are able to dedicate themselves better to their jobs since they are not mentally dealing with any un-necessary issues. Such a person is confident, has faith in himself and in his capabilities. He is ready to face the world. He is in a state of balance and acts rationally. He can handle stress and does not behave in an erratic manner under it. For this reason such people are preferred as employees. This is why you have to mind your manners at all times and behave during the selection procedures so as to appear as an emotionally grounded person.

Emotional health is a vital part of overall health and adds to the feeling of well-being. It also contributes towards social health and relationships. It permits a person to keep a command over thoughts, actions, reactions, anger, frustration and any negativity. Workplace relationships are delicate and require high maintenance. Emotional volatility leads to conflicts and bad business. Impulsive behavior, emotional outbursts and things said thoughtlessly disrupts the office environment and may lead to termination of services.

A person with good emotional health is happy and contributes well in others lives, in the work place and in the society in general. It is attained through inner conviction of one’s goodness and abilities. It reflects the inner balance and a well developed sense of internal security. It neutralizes the environmental upheavals and changes and helps face pressures with poise.

Emotional stability is all about attitude. A positive attitude towards life, its blessings and also all its trials leads to the kind of grounding that gives you this firm, stable platform to stand on. Since emotional stability is an easily observed element of personality, it is necessary to develop it. Start working on your mental attitude and decide resolutely to develop a can-do and die-hard spirit. Have more faith in yourself and in the general goodness of humanity.

Health

So much can be said about health and yet does anything really need be said? Everyone knows that health is our biggest wealth and everything else fades in importance in front of it. Maintaining world class health is not difficult and needs just a few established habits with a long term view.

Health is just not an absence of disease. It is a complete package which includes physical, mental and social well being. All three interact and work together to give you an overall feeling of well being. They impact each other. A healthy body promotes a healthy mind and a healthy mind helps maintain a healthy body. Both together keep you in good social disposition. Good health helps keep you in good spirits, in good humor. It becomes easier to absorb the extremes of corporate life, work to your optimum and grow well. With no daily aches and pains, no health concerns occupying the mind, you will be able to concentrate better on the other agendas. There will be a happy spring in your step and you will find yourself facing life with zeal and enthusiasm and thoroughly enjoying it. We have already read about mental and social well being and in this section we will talk about physical health.

When studying in college, while preparing for competitions, and finally when running your race with an aim to win, good and sound physical health helps in absorbing the rigors of the ordeal. If you are not in top physical form, how will you put in the hours and the sheer hard work required? You need strength, stamina and capacity to work hard. Long hours, late nights, irregular and unhealthy eating and other such occurrences are common place in these years. All these do not seem too bad at this age because youthfulness is on your side. But, internally a foundation for bad health gets laid now and shows its effect later on. Therefore, it is advisable to keep a few things in mind during the youthful years to enjoy good health throughout life.

So, how is this achieved? Most people assume that since health problems of all sorts are so rampant and so commonly observed in the society around us, maintaining good health must be a difficult task otherwise so many millions would not be so ill. But this is not so. Barring genetic, congenital and systemic illnesses, most others are easily avoidable by taking just a few steps right from young age. People make the mistake of beginning to make attempts in this area after they have fallen sick and then trying to rectify it or reverse the condition. If a few sensible steps are taken from young age itself, a majority of such life-style conditions can be completely avoided.

These steps are –

• Food – Food is a very basic ingredient of health and it is not difficult to learn about the basic principles of nutrition. One good book or just an hour or two at the internet can give you good foundation knowledge in the area. Learn about the various nutrients, their importance and how to use them for your benefit. Learn about the importance of eating various foodstuffs like fruits and vegetables and whole grains. Learn about cleanliness and hygiene. Learn about good and bad fats. Learn about the importance of eating simple, wholesome home cooked food rather than street food most times. Learn about the benefits of drinking clean water instead of soft drinks and beverages all the time. Learn everything about the simple concepts of nutrition and how to utilize them according to your needs and physical condition.
• Exercise – Good wholesome food should be combined with exercise for best results. You do not have to be a sports person or a body builder to exercise regularly. Everybody needs exercise to stay optimally healthy. There are actually hundreds of activities that can be done to get physical exercise. Find some that interest you and which you would enjoy doing. Develop some routines and follow them diligently. Do exercise as a preferred activity and not as something forced upon you. Enjoy it. Once you start enjoying it, you may take it to higher levels and even if you don’t, make sure you do at least the maintenance level exercises. Exercise keeps you not only physically fit but also mentally alert. It prevents many diseases, boosts your immune system, helps you sleep better and delays aging. Join clubs, make groups, find a partner or do it alone. Whichever way, just make sure you do it.
• Sleep – Sleep deprivation is a very common phenomenon now-a-days. People are conditioning themselves to get by on lesser and lesser sleep. The average number of hours of sleep has fallen drastically. This is because of many reasons like heavy workloads, long commutes, party culture, attractive entertainment options and other distractions. In the long run, this too has an impact on health and contributes to the onset of lifestyle diseases which are occurring at lower and lower ages. Try and get refreshing, continuous sleep of a good number of hours at least a few nights a week if not every night. Try not to create a sleep debt. Body and mind, both, rejuvenate and repair themselves during sleep and thus proper sleep is essential.
• Preventive measures and Alternative treatments – For simple problems try and not go in for medication easily. Try alternative systems like naturopathy, ayurved, homoeopathy, massages, yoga etc. Learn to use food as a healing system. Stay away from chemical products as much as possible.

A Myth buster

Many people believe that a polished and attractive personality is something a person is born with or gets it from growing up in an equally polished environment and thus is limited to only such people. Although this is true to a certain extent, it does not in any way exclude the possibility of anyone else developing it by diligence. Further many believe that a good personality needs money. In reality, money has nothing to do with personality as it is about you as a person that matters and not what you look like externally.

Attractive physical appearance has only so much effect and there is much more that defines an individuals overall personality. Physical attractiveness is a gift by birth but true character is internal and can be developed. There are millions of people who are not physically attractive and yet have truly magnetic personalities. Attractive appearance and a good personality are just not the same thing. What is required is a good body image. Whatever you have been blessed with, maintain it optimally with the help of good food, exercise and world class health. So, do not despair if you are not physically attractive as you can still go ahead and develop the best personality there is.

After that, what matters are your inner attributes. What kind of person are you internally. You should be kind and considerate and with compassion for all. You should not be self-centered. You should be willing to listen to others and to help them, make others feel important and valued too. Be open to others points of view and be appreciative of their circumstances.

A polished personality is also about how you present yourself, how you carry yourself and how you relate to others. Are you quick in finding mistakes and laughing at others but not on knowledge? Can you take a jibe made at yourself in a calm manner? Can you deal with unpleasant people pleasantly without adding fuel to fire? Do you have that poise that differentiates boors from cultivated people? Can you assess situations accurately and how to deal with them? Do you have patience with people and are you forgiving? There are literally hundreds of big and small character attributes that are the basic blocks of it and building a polished personality is a lifetime endeavor. It is attainable by absolutely everybody regardless of their birth circumstances.