INDEX

accountability partners, 44

achievement, 20

actions, experimenting with new, 41–42

active listening, 144–149, 194

addictions, 97

adrenaline, 70

alcohol, 97

analytic network (AN), 83–90

Aristotle, 160

attention, 82–83, 144

Avolio, Bruce, 178

Baer, Chris, 168

Bachkirova, Tatiana, 202

Barrett, Frank, 160

Batista, Joan Manuel, 95

behavioral change. See change

behavioral empathy, 147–148

behaviors

experimenting with new, 41–42

learning new, 62

practicing new, 42

trying to change, 67–68

biases, 145, 169

Bilimoria, Diana, 117, 118

blind spots, 44

boundaries, 138

Boyatzis, Richard, 19, 88, 90

brain, 82–90, 93, 94, 116

broaden and build theory, 137

Buse, Kathleen, 117, 118

business coaching, 6. See also coaching

caffeine, 97

Carnegie, Andrew, 142–143

Carroll, Lewis, 105

Center for Credentialing and Education (CCE), 137, 167

centering, 72

change

desire for, 29, 53–76

intentional, 34–44, 81

positive, hindering, 67–68

readiness for, 178–179

sustainable, 5–7, 30, 45–49, 58, 81, 90, 94

chronic stress, 70. See also stress response

cigarettes, 97

Cisco Systems, 155, 171

civil rights movement, 81–82

Cleveland Clinic, 167–168

coachable moments, 11, 175–190

micro-coachable moments, 180–181

recognizing, 176–179, 180–181, 195

responding to, 179

coaches

certification of, 166–167

developing managers as, 168–170

emotional self-control by, 59, 145

external, 166–168

internal, 166–168

mindful, 23

personal sustainability of, 195–196

personal vision of, 8, 196–198

role of, 13–14

coaching, 2

bringing to work organizations, 154–156

challenges in, 180–189

with compassion, 5–9, 14, 18, 29–52, 58, 179, 192–195

for compliance, 6, 18, 29–30, 46, 191, 192

conversations, 15–21

cornerstones of, 142–143

culture of, 11, 153–173

defined, 15

dyadic, 15

effective, 56–57

emotional flow of, 48–49

ethics of, 137–138

executive, 6, 178

focusing in, 61–63

hindering positive change and, 67–68

holistic, 7–8

liberation, 181–182

listening in, 143–149

model for intentional change and, 34–44

neuroscience and, 88–89

peer, 156–166

quality of, 131, 134, 139, 155

research on, 8–9, 109

skill development, 160–161

to survive, 78–82

vision-based, 102–105, 109, 116–117

coaching mindset, 139–141

coaching relationships, 21–24, 127–151. See also resonant relationships

Coaching Research Lab (CRL), 8–9

codes of ethics, 137–138

cognitive empathy, 147

compassion

as antidote to self-centeredness, 192–195

call of, 191–198

coaching with, 5–9, 14, 18, 29–52, 58, 179, 192–195

demonstration of, 22–24

shared, 136, 139

use of, 69, 71

competition neglect, 90

compliance, coaching for, 6, 18, 29–30, 46, 191, 192

confidentiality, 137–138

connection-level listening, 148–149

connections. See also relationships

high-quality, 130–131

meaningful, 22–24

contemplation stage, 178

contracts, 137

“Conversations That Inspire” course, 8–9, 15

Coopers & Lybrand, 164

corticosteroids, 70

cortisol, 70

Covey, Stephen, 42

creativity, 46, 58

critical mass, 171

Darner, Jeff, 153–154, 155

David, Susan, 210, 215

default mode network, 83

defensive response, 46, 58, 132, 192, 194

degree of connectivity, 130

de Haan, Eric, 200, 204

developmental feedback, 168

developmental networks, 158

DiMarco, Brandi, 117–118

disconnection, 19

discoveries

experimentation with new behaviors, 41–42

ideal self, 35–37

learning agenda, 40–41

real self, 37–40

resonant relationships and social identity groups, 43–44

dosage, 98

dreams, 69, 101–105, 119, 185–186, 196–198. See also personal vision

drinking, 97

Druskat, Vanessa, 159

Dunning, David, 44

Dutton, Jane, 130

dyadic coaching, 15

education, 58

Emotional and Social Competence Inventory (ESCI), 109

emotional and social intelligence, 19, 43, 165

emotional carrying capacity, 130–131

emotional contagion, 24, 48–49, 71–72, 131, 158, 193, 198

emotional empathy, 147

emotional self-control, 145

empathic concern, 147–148

empathic network (EN), 83–90

empathy, 62–63, 69, 146–148

enablers, 67–68

epinephrine, 70

ESADE, 95

ethics of coaching, 137–138

exchanging addictions, 97

executive coaching, 6, 178

experimentation, 41–42

expert systems, 58

external coaches, 166–168

Facebook, 156

Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), 156

feedback

developmental, 168

effective, 17–18

negative, 85, 127–128, 144

360-degree, 38–39, 95, 109–110, 127–128

Fernández-Aráoz, Claudio, 177

fight-or-flight response, 57, 78, 83. See also stress response

flourishing, 137

focus

brain and, 82–83

on others, 56–57, 59, 61–63

on wrong things, 60–63

focused-level listening, 148–149

Frankl, Viktor, 184

Fredrickson, Barbara, 94, 137

friendships, 156, 160

future, ideal, 5, 24–25, 35, 102–105, 182

Gawande, Atul, 68

Ghods, Niloofar, 155, 171

Gladwell, Malcolm, 42

global-level listening, 148–149

goals, 102–105, 115–116

Goldsmith, Marshall, 203

Goleman, Daniel, 43

Gottman, John, 94

graduate school, 164

Grant, Anthony, 200, 221

Gresham, Darryl, 63–67, 193

Groopman, Jerome, 68

growth, 131–132, 142

Grubb, Amy, 156

habits, 42, 61, 97, 142

habituation, 97

Hannah, Sean, 178

healing, personal vision and, 106–108

Heaphy, Emily, 130

helping others, 2–5, 191. See also coaching

enabling and, 67–68

by focusing on them, 56–57, 59

problem-centered approach to, 5–6

research on, 8–9

Higgins, Monica, 158

Higgins, Tory, 116

high-quality connections (HQCs), 130–131

hope

arousal of, 23–24

benefits of, 22

in medical settings, 68

message of, 11–12

self-efficacy and, 117

Hopkins, Margaret, 155

hormonal processes, 45, 46, 57, 78, 193–194

Howard, Anita, 81–82

humble inquiry, 59–60

humor, 72

ideal future, 5, 24–25, 35, 102, 182

ideal self, 7, 21, 35–37, 58, 102–103, 105, 117, 182–183, 193

implicit biases, 145, 169

inspiration, 7, 8, 13–14, 18

intentional change, 34–44, 58, 81

Intentional Change Theory (ICT), 7, 10, 19, 34–35, 44–45, 84, 106, 131

intentions, 38

internal coaches, 166–168

International Coach Federation (ICF), 15, 137, 167

intrinsic motivation, 2, 5, 7

inward mindset, 59

Itzchakov, Guy, 146

Jack, Anthony, 82–83, 85, 88

Jones, DeWitt, 37

joy, rediscovering lost, 19–21

Kauffman, Carol, 47

Keyes, Chris, 159

Kimsey-House, Henry, 148

Kimsey-House, Karen, 148

Kleovoulos, 93

Kluger, Avi, 146

Kram, Kathy, 131, 158

Lakin, Greg, 1–2, 4, 7, 19–21, 193

Lally, Phillippa, 42

laughter, 73

learning agenda, 40–41

learning focus, 58

learning orientation, 115

learning styles, 87

learning teams, 162

LeDoux, Joseph, 71

Lee, Robert, 145

Lewis, Ray, 175–176, 188–189

liberation coaching, 181–182

life aspirations, 1–2, 4. See also dreams; personal vision

life balance, 79, 80, 94

life satisfaction, 181–183

life transitions, 114–115

listening skills, 143–149, 194

Livingstone, David, 63

Mahler, Walt, 168

Maltbia, Terry, 169

Maltz, Maxwell, 42

managers, developing as coaches, 168–170

massive open online course (MOOC), 8–9, 15

MBA programs, 164–165

meaning, 23–24

mentoring, 131

micro-coachable moments, 180–181

midlife crises, 115

Miller, Claire Scott, 22–23

Milley, Karen, 104–105, 194

mindfulness, 22, 23, 72, 73, 96

mindset, coaching, 139–141

mindshare, 82

minorities, 155

mirror neurons, 147

Moen, 153–154, 155

Mosteo, Leticia, 95

multi-rater feedback, 38–39

Murphy, Wendy, 131

mutual trust, 59–60

narcissism, 192

nature, 73

negative emotional attractor (NEA), 7, 10, 62

balancing PEA and, 78, 79, 93–98

invocation of, 46, 48, 67–68, 80, 194

moments, 57

neuroscience of, 83–90

peer coaching and, 159–160

research on, 135–136

survival and, 77–78, 79–82

negative feedback, 85, 127–128, 144

Neiswander, Lori, 165, 193

neural networks, 83–90, 116, 147

neural pathways, 47

neurons, 82–83

mirror, 147

neuroscience, 78, 82–90, 93, 94, 116

New Year’s resolutions, 116

noradrenaline, 70

norepinephrine, 70

Nyad, Diana, 101–102

O’Neil, Deborah, 155

open-ended questions, 59

oppressive environments, 183–185

optimism, 117

organizational cultures, 62, 153–173

ought self, 35, 188–189, 193

outward mindset, 59

overeating, 97

oxytocin, 70

parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), 47, 57, 69, 70, 83, 96, 193–194

Passarelli, Angela, 105, 109

passions, 1–2, 14, 30–34, 36

pathways to renewal, 21–22

peer coaching, 156–166

perceptions, of others, 37–38

performance orientation, 115

personal balance sheet (PBS), 39–40

personal board of directors, 43–44, 158

personal growth, 7

personal vision, 7, 10, 58, 69

about, 102–105

articulating, 2, 4, 5, 116–117

change and, 115–118

changing direction to reach, 186–188

of coaches, 8, 196–198

creating, 118–120

discovering, 20, 102, 108–115, 160, 196–198

focusing on, 95

vs. goals, 115–116

healing and, 106–108

power of, 101–136

self-efficacy and, 117–118

torn between mutually exclusive ideals for, 185–186

updating, 114–115

personal vision statements, 36–37

pets, 69, 71

playfulness, 72–73

positive change, when helpers hinder, 67–68

positive emotional attractor (PEA), 7, 10, 46–47

balancing NEA and, 78, 79, 93–98

invoking, 57–60, 62–68, 70–74, 139, 193–194

need for, 94

neuroscience of, 83–90

research on, 135–136

thriving and, 77–78, 90–93

as tipping point, 67, 78

positive psychology, 171

positive regard, 130

positivity ratio, 94

practice, 41–42, 50, 129, 139

pre-contemplation stage, 178

preparation stage, 178–179

problem-centered approach, 5–6

Prochaska, James, 178

professional relationships, 138

psychotherapy, 178

purpose

in life, 5, 24, 35, 40, 101, 102, 193

sense of, 36, 72, 86, 116, 119, 134, 194

shared, 4, 114, 136, 157, 162, 164

quality circles, 162

quality relationships, 134, 139

questions

asking, 3–4, 55–60, 63, 143–144, 193–194

open-ended, 59

reflective, 16–17

style and timing of, 10–11

rapport building, 129

readiness, 178–179

reality testing, 44

real self, 37–40

reflection, 9, 119–120

reflective questions, 16–17

refugees, 184

relationships. See also resonant relationships

coaching, 21–24, 127–151

peer-coaching, 158–159

professional, 139

quality of, 134, 139, 193

renewal, 83, 95–98, 195–196

repressive environments, 183–185

resilience, 131

resonant relationships

characteristics of, 129–136, 139

coaching and, 21–24, 193

cultivating, 5, 10–11, 127–151

establishing, 14

PEA and, 73–74

research on, 135–136

social identity groups and, 43–44

Riess, Helen, 147

Rochford, Kylie, 73

Roethlisberger, F. J. 145

Rogers, Carl, 145

Runnels, Patrick, 169–170

Sala, Fabio, 72

Sandahl, Phillip, 148

satisfaction, 181–183

Schein, Ed, 59–60

Schwartz, Kyle, 2–4, 6, 60

Scott, Mark, 71, 72

self

centering, 72

ideal, 7, 21, 35–37, 58, 102–103, 105, 117, 182–183, 193

ought, 35, 188–189, 193

real, 37–40

self-assessment, 38–40

self-awareness, 38, 131–132, 145, 146

self-centeredness, 191–195

self-control, 59, 145

self-deception, 44

self-disclosure, 23

self-efficacy, 117, 118

self-managing teams, 162

self-regulatory focus, 116–117

sense of purpose, 36, 72, 86, 116, 119, 134, 194

Serlavos, Ricard, 95

Shaffer, Bob, 79–81, 97–98, 194

shared compassion, 136, 139

shared mind intelligence, 147

shared vision, 35, 134–136, 139

Sinclair, Emily, 13–14, 45, 193

Smith, Melvin, 30–35, 39–45, 181–183

social identity groups, 43–44, 161–162, 163

social mimicry, 131

Stephens, John Paul, 130

strengths, 37, 38, 39, 40, 46, 194

stress, 95–96

stress response, 46, 48, 70, 78, 83, 85, 93, 95–96

study groups, 162, 164–165

support groups, 162

surviving

coaching and, 78–82

NEA and, 77–82

thriving and, 77–78

sympathetic nervous system (SNS), 46, 57, 70, 93, 95–96, 194

sympathy, 62–63

Szabo, Amy, 108–112, 116, 119, 193

task positive network, 83

Taylor, Scott, 38

teachers, 2–4

teaching focus, 58

tensility, 130

T groups, 162

Thompson, Neil, 22–23, 193

thoughtful attention, 144

360-degree feedback, 38–39, 95, 109–110, 127–128

thriving, 77–78, 90–93

tipping points, 67, 78

Torres, Carlos de Barnola, 166

transitions, 114–115

trust

in coaching relationship, 138

listening and, 144

mutual, 59–60

Tuuk, Mary, 91–93, 98, 193

vagus nerve, 70

values, 122–124

Van Oosten, Ellen, 106–107, 139–143

variety, 97–98

vasopressin, 69

vision. See personal vision; shared vision

vision-based coaching, 102–105, 109, 116–117

vision statements, 36–37. See also personal vision statements

WAIT acronym, 149

wake-up calls, 85–86

weaknesses, 37, 38, 39, 40, 46, 48, 194

Whitworth, Laura, 148

women, coaching and, 154–155

work-life balance, 2, 94

Worldwide Association of Business Coaches (WABC), 167

written contracts, 137