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ACHIEVING CONGRUENCE

The third capacity of conscious leadership that comes out of presence and true power is congruence. As we traverse life’s path, existential concerns can pervade our mind, leaving us with a fragile sense of purpose and unanswered questions such as “Who am I? Where have I come from? Where am I going? How will I get there?”

This chapter will unfold the placard of I AM – I CAN – I WILL: a mantra that will help every leader know their story and discover their personal myth. It will help them divine their swadharma—a commitment to themselves and their objective of fully manifesting their Shakti in selfless service and fulfillment of their highest purpose.

A CONSCIOUS LEADER IS CONGRUENT

We define congruence as the capacity to be centered, authentic, and aligned with one’s purpose both internally (how one feels) and externally (how one acts). Recall that getting to wholeness was about “stepping in” to gather all the fragmented parts of yourself. The next capacity, flexibility, was about “stepping up” as a leader who proactively shapes and engages with life rather than just reacting to it. Congruence is about “stepping out,” venturing out into the world to be of service in a way that is uniquely yours. Conscious leaders know what their purpose is, they know their story, they know where they came from, and they know where they are going. They are living their swadharma—their unique personal calling.

Dharma means righteous action. Swadharma means right actions that are unique to each individual, according to their own innate nature, their swabhav. Swadharma is that sweet spot where our work and love come together in a completely satisfying way, setting us free even as it fulfills us. No two people can have the same swadharma; you can’t live someone else’s swadharma for them. Your swabhav (innate nature) shapes your swadharma. The texture and nature of your swabhav determines the direction from which you will flow. You must be congruent internally according to your swabhav, instead of futilely struggling to be a square peg in a round hole. And you should be congruent externally toward your swadharma.

Shakti Leaders are audaciously ambitious but not for themselves. “It’s not about building bigger companies but about serving something bigger,” says John Gerzema, co-author of The Athena Doctrine. “There’s so much cynicism that people are out for short-term gain. Leadership today is about taking people into a better future. That’s a long trip.”¹

Casey Sheahan, former CEO of Patagonia, is a leader who is deeply aligned with his higher purpose. But that purpose isn’t self-centered. As he says, “Running a business with a higher purpose, such as Whole Foods or Patagonia, taps into creative energy, creative consciousness. Running a business that way generally gives you great success, but it’s not your real reason for being; your reason is to elevate mankind, to be able to live a better life and be happier.”²

Shakti Leaders Speak: On Ambition

Gerry Laybourne, co-founder, former chairman and CEO of Oxygen Media, recalls:

I remember one instance where a person who was working directly for me came to me and said, “Do you want to be a vice president?” My response was “I couldn’t care less. I want to make something great for kids. That’s what I am focused on.” She said, “If you have so little ambition, I’m going to get another job.” I said, “You should do that.” I have plenty of ambition, but it’s not a self-centered ambition. It’s an ambition to actually change something. That was just unthinkable to her.³

 

PURPOSE ↔ SWADHARMA ↔ PLEASURE!

A profound insight from yogic wisdom is that living your purpose, your swadharma, is also the source of your ananda, your deepest pleasure or bliss. Your purpose is not some dull, onerous, or scary thing that you have to do; it’s not simply a duty. It is in fact your greatest pleasure. When you have discovered your dharma, you have found the way to your bliss. You can live it day in and day out and it will continually energize you instead of depleting you.

Traditional work, something that’s “just a job,” depletes you, because you’re using up your limited store of energy. But when you’re grounded in your swabhav and working from there, it’s as if you’re constantly plugged into an inexhaustible source of energy. You just have to live; the more you work and live your dharma, the more energized you feel.

Clues for Discerning Your Swabhav and Swadharma

The Enneagram is a well-known personality typing system. According to The Wisdom of the Enneagram, you may be carrying one (or more) of these innate gifts.⁴ Speak these affirmations out aloud and see which resonates the most for you.

1. I live for a higher purpose.

2. I nurture myself and others.

3. I raise the benchmark and set an example.

4. I create and renew myself constantly.

5. I bring clarity and insight without judgment or expectation.

6. I believe in myself and trust others.

7. I celebrate joyously and share happiness.

8. I stand up, speak out, and act with courage.

9. I bring healing and harmony to the world.

Shakti is present in each of these ways of being and doing, as they are all capacities that come from one’s core, authentic presence.

Once you know what innate power you can draw from, sense your swadharma as bringing your swabhav to bear upon one of the three domains of higher human pursuit:

The Good: Doing what is right for the world

The True: Pursuit and expansion of human knowledge

The Beautiful: Excellence and the creation of beauty

These are called the Platonic ideals, each a worthy end in itself; Aristotle called them “goods of first intent.” There is a fair chance that where your innate true nature (one of the nine Ennea-gifts) meets its domain of ideal action (the Good, True, and/or Beautiful) lies your swadharma, a personal higher purpose with which you are congruent.

Nilima shares that she found her congruence when she came to the work of empowering women and gender reconciliation by bringing yogic wisdom (consciousness and Shakti) in service of creating a world that works for all. From her core, she resonates with the first gift of the Enneagram (living for a higher purpose) and is inspired to bring it to doing Good (what’s right for the world). Shakti Leadership is the outcome of this quest and rings true for her, even as she is occasionally tested and stretched into living it more fully in all aspects of her life, including keeping a sense of humor, lightening up, and embracing her “foolish” self!

Raj discovered a quality in himself of learning to trust his own instincts and judgment and innately trusting others (the sixth gift of the Enneagram). He was inspired to use his academic training to pursue the truth about whether the conscious way of being can actually succeed in the world, especially in the dog-eat-dog world of business. This gave rise to his book Firms of Endearment, which showed that companies built on trust and caring can be enormously successful in the world if they also have a deep sense of purpose, seek to serve rather than use all their stakeholders, and elevate leaders who care about people and purpose ahead of power and personal enrichment. This work was foundational to the launch of the global Conscious Capitalism movement.

 

We have all experienced moments when we felt we were really in our element and completely alive. That is us living our dharma. Dharma isn’t necessarily about taking up a specific profession or career. It’s more about who you are and how you show up in the world—what you are meant to manifest. The energy with which you do it and the energy you bring into the world ring true. That is what it means to live the dharmic life.

Most companies refer to their people as “human resources.” But think about what that implies. Most resources are limited and get depleted with use. A lump of coal is a resource; once you use it, it burns out. Human beings are indeed subject to burnout when they are treated like resources, when they are not connected to a living, vibrant source. But a human being who is in a supportive setting and operating in harmony with her swabhav and swadharma is an inexhaustible fountain of energy, caring, creativity, and compassion. You go from being a depleted resource to a limitless source, because you are plugged into the infinitely powerful and creative ultimate source, Shakti.⁵

What is the meaningful purpose of life? What are we here to do and be? The ancient texts of India speak of purushartha, which literally means the “object of human pursuit.” The purushartha cites four goals or aims of a human life: dharma, artha, kama, and moksha. Dharma is about our duties and the right way to live. Artha is about prosperity and the means of life, but also about purpose and meaning. That’s the masculine part of us. Kama is about pleasure, love, and relationships (our feminine side), and moksha is about liberation and self-realization. The sweet spot where dharma, artha, and kama come together is where your swadharma is (Figure 7.1). You don’t have to choose one over the other; you can live all of them, and that defines the seat of your pleasure. From this arises a portal to moksha, liberation, the great freedom and joy beyond duality.

At the end of all his work, Joseph Campbell brought it down to these three words: “Follow your bliss.” Life is ananda (bliss). It is born out of ananda, it exists and sustains in ananda, and it returns to ananda. The Age of Ananda author Kumar Sharma advises us to “Live joyously and evolve consciously.” It takes deep inner work and maturation to come into one’s bliss. Until then, as Andrew Harvey says, “Follow your heartbreak.” What is it in the world that causes you deep, almost physical anguish—something that you feel urgently needs tending to, healing, or setting right? This may well point to your swadharma, your unique purpose to follow and fulfill. This heartbreak may be your “call to adventure,” which, once heeded, will lead you to the elixir and to your bliss.

Figure 7.1—Purpose ↔ Swadharma ↔ Pleasure!

We all feel heartache at the conflict and destruction around us, from the personal to planetary levels. All we can do is acknowledge the heartbreak, offer it to our higher self, and wait for inner guidance on what loving action that self needs from us.

A time comes when bliss and heartbreak mysteriously connect. When heartbreak feels like bliss and bliss like heartbreak, this is what holding the whole feels like—sweet and sharp at the same time, the ananda that is beyond bliss and heartbreak. This is mahakaruna—profound and utter compassion for the human condition, an irresistible impulse that galvanizes us to healing action.

MANIFESTING YOUR HIGHER PURPOSE

What is your bliss and how can you get in touch with it? Once you know who you are and what your swadharma is, you can claim it and commit to it. You become a blissful and unstoppable force of nature. Other people’s business will no longer matter, because you will be so consumed with your own—in a healthy way, of course!

How can you find that “red thread”? Take an inventory of all the things you have done in your life, especially those that you most enjoyed. They may seem on the surface to be fairly divergent and different. But can you detect a recurring pattern through them all? If you can find it, that red thread will give you a clue to what is really your gift and thus your path.

You can also use a more structured approach to discover your higher purpose (Figure 7.2). When you move forward into this grand new life, you don’t completely discard the past. Start by looking at the knowledge and skills you have gained through your education, training, and life experiences. For most people, it’s no accident that they’ve been educated in a particular subject instead of something else. The core of what you’ve already learned can serve as a building block.

Figure 7.2—Higher Purpose

Next, consider your innate talents and gifts, those things that come easily and naturally to you. Maybe you could always sing or write effortlessly, or whatever you cook is delicious, or you just know how to make people feel comfortable. There’s something about you that works very naturally and has always been there. Author Gay Hendricks in his book The Big Leap refers to this as your “Zone of Genius.”

Now think about what you would be doing if you had all the money, resources, support, and inspiration that you needed. If you didn’t have to meet any of your duties first, what would you do with your life?

Finally, look at the world and ask, “What are the gaps out there? What does my family, community, society, team, country, or the world really need at this point?” Innately, each of us has a desire to do something positive in the world—something worth pursuing for its own sake. The gap could be big or small evoking a vivid sense that “someone needs to do something about that.” That someone may well be you. As John Donne wrote (and Ernest Hemingway made famous), “ . . . never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

Your unique higher purpose is very likely to be found at the intersection of these four things.

Shakti Leaders Speak: On Finding Purpose

Casey Sheahan, former CEO of Patagonia, quested for years to discover his purpose:

I made many trips to India and met with many beautiful teachers, some of whom spent time with me in my home in Colorado. I was looking at how I was showing up in the world personally, knowing that any suffering that I had in me connected to my self-centricity and would have an effect on others. I did this work to become aware of that so I could diminish my ego and become a different kind of leader who would be a powerful fit for the culture at Patagonia. I created a higher vision for my life, starting with myself and my family and then my employees and my company, to help make our communities and the world a better place. It started with looking at my own emotions and ideas and actions and being aware when I was doing things out of self-interest or ambition, which is very common with a leader of a company because you fall into patterns where if you have a big job or you’re successful, you think it’s all about you.

I loved my job at Patagonia because I would leap up the stairs two at a time every morning to see what business adventure awaited me. If you have the right vision for your life and for your work and stay true to yourself, then you know what you’re doing every day when you wake up. It has nothing to do with the twenty things on your to-do list; it’s just how you show up and how you’re going to impact others. If it is in accordance with conscious leadership, it’s how you’re going to help others realize their full potential and be the most incredible happy human beings that they can be. The role can be all about you as the hero, or it can be about supporting every other human being on the planet. That was what happened to me coming out of my four trips to India. It made me enjoy life even more and I had great success with my business as well.⁶

 

DIALOGUE WITH THE HIGHER SELF

The “higher-self dialogue” is a practice that can help you discover your purpose. It assumes that we each have an ego self, rooted in our ordinary mind, and also a higher self—a divinized version of our self—that understands our essence better than our ego self does and can guide and protect us at all times. It knows that which we truly seek.

Since we are frequently told not to aggrandize the ordinary ego self, we run the risk of throwing the baby out with the bathwater by neglecting to honor our higher self. The more you are in touch with the higher self—the more you acknowledge and honor it—the more you can step into your own power and authenticity.

Inner growth is all about developing a relationship with this higher self. One way to do so is to stop and give thanks to that self every time you sense its power and presence and support. As you journey through challenges and ordeals, you will slowly come to experience your higher self as your powerful invisible partner.

The higher-self dialogue to discern one’s higher purpose is a deep meditation and exploration drawing from many different psycho-spiritual and creative processes, including Buddhist metta practice, Integral Yoga, psychosynthesis, inner-child work, and creative visualization. It aims to bypass the rational mind and access the consciousness of all parts of our being, especially the creative child and the empathic and wise higher self. It has three steps.

Step 1: Opening the Heart and Embracing the Inner Child

Start by creating a sacred space for yourself. Sit down in a chair and place both feet firmly on the ground. Keep your back straight and eyes closed. Enter into the awareness of your everyday “here and now” ordinary self. To start opening your heart and channeling your presence, bring into your mind’s eye your child-self. Recall when that child-self first encountered some kind of fear or insecurity, felt foolish or lost. See this child-self in front of you very clearly. As a parent would, gently and lovingly hold your child-self, your right hand on the child’s left shoulder, and your left hand around the right waist. Enter into communion with your precious child-self. Send deep metta (loving kindness) to this child-self. Say to the child, “May you be well; may you be happy; may you be free from all suffering.”

Keep breathing and integrating the energy of this child-self with your adult-self. Try to reconnect with your childlike curiosity and joy to open your heart and mind to a sense of adventure and playfulness. Breathe healing into your child-self and receive wonder and playfulness in return. From this place of integration of your adult-self and child-self, bring heightened awareness to that sense of joy or bliss that you had when you were a child and that you still carry as an adult. Articulate any question you might have of life right now, such as trying to understand your choices, discern your red thread, resolve your dilemmas, determine what to do and what not to do.

Bring all that into your awareness and consideration now from this place of integration.

Take a piece of paper and fill in the four quadrants shown in Figure 7.2. Write down the knowledge and skills that you have gained through your education and training. Capture your innate talents and gifts, things that come naturally to you. Imagine what you’d be doing if you had all the money and time and support in the world. Sense what the world needs, what your team needs, or life itself needs.

If you could ask an all-knowing being a question, what would it be? Articulate with great clarity and specificity this deep and central question: What is my purpose?

Step 2: Opening the Mind and Accessing the Higher Self

When you have fully and clearly articulated the central question of your higher purpose, stand up very slowly and come around your chair, facing its back. Imagine your ego self sitting in front of you. Keeping your eyes closed, drop your hands. Hold the integrity of the energy. Place your feet shoulder-width apart and make yourself tall. You’re a powerful, mighty, immovable mountain now. You have relocated yourself into the consciousness of your higher self, the all-knowing, all-powerful being that you are. Embody that energy now. Call upon it, feel it enter you and open to it. Very gently place your hands on the back of the chair as if you’re placing them on the shoulders of your ego self below. With great compassion and understanding, allow your higher self to channel your own highest power and wisdom. It’s as though you’ve opened a tap and let the stream of consciousness flow. Let the words come. Be a silent, receptive container. Let the wisdom flow through you, wisdom that is for the highest good of all. Once you feel the tap has opened and the stream of consciousness has started flowing, gently sit down and start writing. Write everything that comes to you. Allow clarity to emerge on its own. Don’t direct with your mind; let your intuition take over. Start integrating and absorbing it into your being. If it comes together as one phrase or statement, write that in the central box of Figure 7.2.

Step 3: Integrating and Accepting Your Power Symbol and Personal Myth

Once you are done writing, close your eyes again and relax. Imagine that you’re walking in a beautiful forest and the weather is perfect; it’s a bright, sunny day, the birds are chirping in the skies. There’s a wonderful fragrance in the air. You’re walking down a trail. There’s an unmistakable sense that something magical, something very powerful and sublime awaits you. As you walk, the bushes get thicker, but you continue, undeterred. Your will sharpens, and your commitment and resolve are strengthened to go and meet whatever it is that awaits you. You have a smile on your face, feeling a sense of anticipation and of joy.

Find yourself stepping into a clearing, with dappled sunlight around you. In the middle of this cleared space is a mirror with a veil over it. It feels like a very sacred, holy space. Take off your footwear and wash your hands and face in the clean running stream nearby. Your truest, purest self steps forward now and moves toward that mirror and invites you to lift that veil. Take a deep breath, remove the veil from the mirror, and allow yourself to gaze into the vast innerscape the mirror is showing you. Approaching you from the other side, through the mirror, is a symbol, someone or something, which you come to recognize as the unique symbol of your power. “This is me. The power that is me is being shown to me through this symbol.” The most powerful, beautiful energy radiates out of this object or being. All you have to do is reach out and be open to it and breathe, and it comes into you and merges with you. It’s as if you’ve been switched on, have come alive. Your whole body is singing and smiling because you know the energy deep inside every cell of your body right now is saying, “I am this, I am this, I am this.”

Such is the beauty of this reconnection with your power that you want to capture it in a poster that you can take back with you. Every time you forget who you are, you just have to check this poster. When you’re ready, create the poster of your power symbol. It’s not about producing an artistic drawing; it’s about capturing the essence of what you felt. Draw something that captures the pleasure and the power of who you are when you’re in your element. Invite your right brain to come forth. The symbol should appeal to not just your heart, your head, or your gut, but to all three.

Having tuned in to your intuition, from a place of presence (especially a calm mind) and complete honesty, do a reality check. Does your higher purpose ring clear and true to you? Don’t force-fit it. Reword it until it does. Does it appeal to your head, heart, and gut? Does it fit you and stretch you at the same time? You need the right balance of comfort and discomfort, because without discomfort you cannot grow! Does it compel you to act? Is there the fierce energy of Shakti about it? If there is, it will energize and motivate you for years to come, until it finds fulfillment.

I Am. I Can. I Will.

Claim your personal conscious leadership myth. First, consider:

My presence: How will I cultivate it?

My power: How will I exercise it?

My pleasure: How will I find it?

My purpose: How will I live it?

Then tell your unique story in the third person: Who is s/he? What is the unique gift that empowers her/him? Where is s/he going? What is the higher purpose that energizes her/him? What’s getting in her/his way? What obstacles does s/he need to overcome? How will s/he get there? What resources can s/he draw upon?

Dialoging with your higher self and articulating your personal myth are ongoing, iterative, and evolving processes. Feel free to play with our suggested processes and find your own way.

 

Organizational Higher-Self Dialogue

If you were able to get in touch with a sense of the gift you embody, the purpose that you are here to bring to the world, you can also bring this process and approach to an organization you are part of. It could be very old or a recent startup. Organizations are on their own heroic journey and go through the same cycle that we as individuals go through. Just as we have articulated a higher purpose for who we are and where we are going, the organization should articulate its higher purpose. Not many organizations have the ability to discern the soul of their being, and so their purpose statements feel empty and unrelatable; these organizations are a shell without a soul. But if the right people with the right tools and skills come together and craft that statement, it becomes an inspiring call and a galvanizing force.

TOWARD SELF-MASTERY AND SELFLESS SERVICE

The heroic journey includes parallel inner and outer journeys in the ultimate quest for freedom and fulfillment. The outer track is your journey through leadership, and the inner track is the journey of the evolution of your consciousness. The two occur simultaneously. The leader you become is the person you become.

OUTER JOURNEY	INNER JOURNEY
• Achieve tasks	• Achieve growth
• Overcome obstacles	• Overcome neuroses
• Heal relationships	• Heal inner schisms
• From innocent to leader	• From victim to creator
• Raise collective consciousness	• Raise own consciousness
• Uplift society	• Evolve self
LEADS TO SELFLESS SERVICE	LEADS TO SELF MASTERY

Freedom to Live; Master of Two Worlds

 

The outer journey is where tasks are achieved and obstacles overcome. We heal some relationships that may have been broken. We go from being the untested innocent to the leader of that space, and we raise the collective consciousness of our tribe, our communities, our teams, our societies. In the process, society gets uplifted.

On the inner journey, you achieve personal growth. You overcome your neuroses and heal the schisms and splits inside you. You go from being a victim to becoming a creator. You raise your consciousness and evolve your self.

When you journey on the outside you arrive at a place of selfless service to the world and to your higher purpose. The journey inside brings you to a place of self-mastery. They’re two sides of the same coin, mutually enhancing and interdependent capacities. The more self-mastery you can achieve, the more you can go out and accomplish great things. The more you are in service, the more mastery you build. Each mirrors and parallels the other. The outer journey is about doing; the inner journey about being. When you become the master of your self, you’re no longer egoic or power-based; instead, you’re in complete selfless service to your tribe, your community, your purpose, whatever that higher ideal may be. Riding the waves of change, both inner and outer, helps you become a “master of two worlds,” in Campbell’s phrase. It is the state from which you can finally experience the full freedom to live. Having overcome your conditioning and reclaimed your power from all the archetypes that were driving your psychological car, you are now truly free, fully in charge.

At journey’s end, the world will see you as the innocent who has come into your own as a leader. You, on the other hand, have reframed your powerlessness and evolved yourself into a potent new creator-being, with a welcome ability to laugh at yourself—a wise-fool at ease with tough-love. This is the sweet-spot of holding lightly one’s eros-thanatos-logos-mythos!

Shakti Leaders Speak: On Higher Purpose

When it comes to higher purpose, Casey Sheahan asks,

At some point, is everything all about yourself? Are you running a business just so you’re successful? Or are you thinking about the growth of all your stakeholders—their lives, their happiness, their fulfillment? Operating from the ambitious side of the page is all about aggression and self-centricity. Just think what kind of example you are setting for your children and your organization if you’re operating from that side of the page. If this is the culture of the organization, what’s the future? If your people aren’t happy, do you really think you’re going to be successful? The other side of the equation is living life with a spiritual vision—with compassion, love, and understanding. This has to begin with a vision for yourself to get to a higher inner state of being—feel good about how you’re living your life and how you’re conducting your business and helping all the people in your organization become free of suffering. On the ambition side of the equation, suffering is behind the fear and greed, the “make money at all costs” mindset, the comparisons with other people’s success . . . all those notions are really about creating you as separate from other individuals, because you’re trying to create an organization or business that is better than the others, makes more money, “I’m richer, I’m the best,” etc.⁷

 

We’re all journeying toward our freedom or ananda, our bliss. We only attain that when we master both the worlds: the inner as well as the outer. This is the great elixir, the final outcome of why we journey, and it’s why we have no choice but to journey.