3 Dealing with bullying or harassment

Anyone who has ever been bullied will know just how demoralising and damaging the experience can be. When it occurs in the workplace it can be a seemingly inescapable nightmare. The effects of bullying impact on a person’s life outside of work and are sure to take their toll over time on the physical as well as mental wellbeing of the victim.

Abusive behaviours range from the extreme, such as bullying and physical abuse, to more subtle forms of harassment that are often more common but less recognised. What is tolerated in the workplace will depend very much upon the culture of the organisation and the attitudes of its leaders.

Some businesses ignore all forms of harassment; others make a point of creating a culture where intimidation of any sort is cause for reprimand or, in some cases, dismissal. It is worth reflecting on your organisation’s culture to see what exists, both on and under the surface. This chapter provides advice both for the victims of harassment or bullying and the colleagues and managers around them.

Step one: Understand the forms bullying can take

The recipient of bullying is often in a weaker position, physically, emotionally, or hierarchically. Victims are usually unable or unwilling to stand up for themselves, due to what they feel will be the unacceptable consequences, such as an escalation of abusive behaviour or the threat of redundancy. This fear allows the behaviour to continue.

Any form of harassment can have a serious impact on the morale of staff in the business, and can affect the performance and health of individuals. Not only is it simply wrong, but it’s unlawful, and should be treated seriously.

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The difference between a good joke and bullying can be a subtle one that isn’t always immediately noticeable. A good joke contributes to a fun atmosphere at work, and can diffuse a tense situation—but it needs to be a joke that everyone finds amusing, and isn’t at someone else’s expense. However, if the joke involves a person in the office being demeaned or belittled in any way, it has gone too far. Similarly a joke that is personally critical and destructive has also crossed the line.

Step two: Determine when the line has been crossed

Often, people find it hard to know whether the line of harassment has been crossed. If they confront the perpetrators, they can be accused of ‘being a poor sport’, or worse. Such accusations are often levelled to mask what is going on, and can seriously undermine the victim’s confidence.

If you are the one being bullied, the following advice will help you determine whether the harassment is trivial or serious:

Seek feedback from those who may have observed any incidents. Their objectivity will help put perspective on the situation if you’re worried that you may be overreacting. It may be that their account gives you more ammunition to deal with the problem appropriately. Select your witness carefully though—ones you can trust to be allies throughout the ordeal, who won’t ‘flip’ on you under pressure.

If the harassment is infrequent and seems harmless, try not to take it too personally. Bullying says more about the character of the bully than it does about the person being bullied. However, if the bullying is persistent or escalates, you must confront it and report it. Even if you don’t wish to face the bully head on, there are likely to be other ways of asserting your rights.

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If you feel you’re being bullied, but the perpetrator disguises his or her actions in jest, one way of dealing with this is to write down the incidents in a journal, including the context in which they took place. Ask for feedback from observers and include their comments. Over time, you will be able to see if there is a pattern to the treatment you’ve been receiving. Also, the record may be useful if you decide to take the matter further.

Check in the employees’ handbook, if you have one. There are probably procedures in place to assist you in dealing with your situation. You may be advised to report the incident(s) to your manager but, should you feel uncomfortable about this—for example, if your manager is part of the problem—you may wish to go directly to the human resources department.

If you decide to lodge a formal complaint, make sure you have a record of the incidents and a note of the witnesses present.

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If you see a colleague being bullied and no complaint is forthcoming, you may think about intervening at an informal level. Start by asking your harassed colleague about the treatment they received. The person may indicate that they don’t want to make a fuss about it and will leave it at that. Alternatively, you could speak to the bully, explaining the impact of their behaviour on the team as a whole. When doing this, use good feedback techniques. For example, begin all your statements with ‘I . . . ’, and base them on events that you have personally observed.

Step three: Maintain a non-bullying atmosphere

Left unchecked, bullying can destroy the morale of valued employees and put the surrounding people into a state of fear. If you’re a manager, you have a responsibility to report bullying elsewhere in the organisation, even if it doesn’t affect your staff. However, you don’t want to create an atmosphere of persecution either. Try to strike a balance between vigilance and freedom of choice.

Bear in mind your legal obligations to your staff. Remember that turning a blind eye to the problem may at some point make you culpable as well.

Reassure staff that their complaints will be taken seriously and dealt with fairly. Most people are reluctant to report harassment because of the potential impact on their position/job. Explain what steps have to be taken, and estimate the length of time involved in the process.

Give any potential complainant a few days in which to reconsider making a formal complaint. Don’t exert pressure to take the issue further if the recipient decides to let the matter go—it’s his or her choice and this should be respected.

Make sure that the organisation’s policy manual spells out how to proceed if the person decides to pursue the charge. It will probably involve investigating the details to establish what happened, and in what context. This may involve interviews with the victim, alleged abuser, and witnesses. Notes—based on facts, not hearsay and opinions—should be taken and filed with the human resources department or representative.

Cases of serious assault are rare, but when they occur, they may go beyond the scope of the organisation to deal with them. It may be necessary to contact a security officer or the police, and you may also need medical intervention and/or counselling for the victim, perhaps the perpetrator, and even some affected colleagues.

The incident could also involve an external third party, such as a customer. It is important to have a plan in place for such events, and then react in as calm and professional a manner as possible. The more serious the problem, the more your employees will depend on you to bring the matter to a close as quickly and judiciously as you can. Minimising ‘collateral damage’ helps restore equilibrium more quickly.

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Once someone’s confidence has been broken, they become ‘easy pickings’ and can inadvertently encourage bullying behaviours. If this is the case, you should still approach the victim and express your concern. If the problem persists, you would be wise to raise the issue in a staff meeting, or to report it to the person’s supervisor—or to another manager of equal or greater rank.

Common mistakes

You act before you know all the facts

Wading in with accusations when you think you’ve witnessed an episode of bullying could make matters worse: you may have misjudged the situation. Unless it’s a serious incident, it’s best to observe and question before intervening. In this way, all parties are given a chance to explain their behaviour and resolve the situation calmly.

You mistake a genuine extrovert for a bully

Extroverts frequently speak their minds before really thinking about what they are saying—which can sound confrontational and be mistaken for harassment. Being extroverts, however, they are often receptive to questioning and keen to point out that they were just testing the boundaries, or joking. By sharing your perception and inviting theirs, it’s possible to clarify and dispel the situation without further entanglement.

You don’t consider that the bully may need help too

It is easy to assume that bullies are strong characters. Indeed, it’s often to create this impression that they become bullies in the first place. In fact, most bullies are insecure and behave as they do to mask a lack of knowledge or skill. Or perhaps they are mirroring behaviour further up the organisation, thinking that this may help them advance. One way of handling such a person is to offer them coaching, so that they can be helped to understand the underlying cause, and succeed in changing their behaviour.

STEPS TO SUCCESS

Be aware that there are many kinds of bullying. You may be suffering in more ways than you know.

Ask others for their opinions on whether the way you’ve been treated constitutes bullying.

If the line has been crossed, resolve to take action and assert your rights.

Try to go through formal, established channels rather than confronting the issue on your own.

As a manager, take responsibility for eliminating harassment in whichever department you witness it.

Make it known that bullying is not to be tolerated and that complaints will be dealt with fairly.

Try to have procedures in place to deal with every eventuality.

Do not force people to complain if they would rather not.