1 MAN/1 WOMAN SCENE
INT. SOLDIER’S LIVING ROOM—DAY
The Soldier and his Wife stand in an embrace in the doorway. Then she pulls away.
WIFE
Come in, come in, let’s not stand here, let me get your—
(she reaches for his duffel bag)
SOLDIER
No, it’s fine, just leave it on the porch.
They walk into the room, and stand there a moment, awkwardly.
WIFE
It’s just, so good, so … why didn’t you call? I would have picked you up—
SOLDIER
I just wanted to get home.
WIFE
And you did. And here you are.
(suddenly, starting for the kitchen)
Can I get you something? You must be—
SOLDIER
I’m fine.
WIFE
Some water? A beer?
SOLDIER
No, I’m fine. Thank you.
He wanders around the room a bit, touching things. She watches him.
WIFE
It’s so good to see you.
(he nods, continues to wander)
Are you okay?
SOLDIER
I’m okay, yes.
WIFE
Really?
SOLDIER
You mean like, am I okay, like not hurt? I’m okay. Do you mean like, am I mental? No. Do you mean like, am I me? No. I’m not.
WIFE
Well, that’s to be expected, of course I didn’t think that you would be, I mean, it’s just, that’d be silly, do you want to sit down?
SOLDIER
(beat)
Sure.
He sits in a leather chair, across from the TV, it’s probably where he used to sit all the time. Before. Another long beat.
How’s everybody?
WIFE
Everybody? Everybody’s good.
SOLDIER
Where’s Blue?
WIFE
(beat)
You remember, I wrote. Remember?
SOLDIER
Remind me.
WIFE
He … it was in his liver, Dan, I had to—
SOLDIER
You put him down?
She looks at him, then lunges for a lumpy clay ashtray, with garish paint swirls on it.
WIFE
Jake made this. For you.
(he takes it)
For Father’s Day. At preschool.
(his fingers caress it)
I told him we’d celebrate with you. When you got home. Whenever that was. And here you are.
SOLDIER
And here I am.
WIFE
(pretend clapping)
Yay! Daddy’s home!
He just looks at her. She stops her silly little clapping.
SOLDIER
Where is he?
WIFE
He’ll be home at three, he has a play date with Justin on Tuesdays, you remember.
SOLDIER
(he clearly doesn’t)
A play date.
WIFE
You’ll be so proud of him, Dan. He insists on being the one to put up the flag every day at school –
The Wife kneels next to him, strokes his arm.
WIFE (CONT’D)
I love you, Dan, I’m so glad you’re home –
She stops as he lurches out of the chair, escaping her touch. She watches him as he stands there, breathing a little ragged.
WIFE (CONT’D)
You know what? I’m gonna run up, comb my hair, put on a little lipstick, for cryin’ out loud, my husband came home and I, well, I could look better.
(beat)
And then I’m gonna make you some lemonade, you’re probably thirsty, I’m just gonna give you a minute to, you know, settle in.
Smiling at him through tear-glassy eyes, she turns and runs out of the room.
He stands there a moment, then goes to the front door, and exits. There’s a beat—did he leave? But no, he carries his duffel bag back in and sets it on the floor.
And then he sits on it, just sits there, rubbing his face, blinking back the tears.
INT. OFFICE—DAY
JIM bursts through the door, in a rage. He’s followed by SANFORD, who shuts the door behind him so the whole rest of the office won’t overhear. There are two desks in here, Jim and Sanford share an office.
JIM
You can’t keep pulling that crap with me, Sanford, it makes me look bad.
SANFORD
That wasn’t my intent, Jim—
JIM
It’s never your intent, you’re just a douchebag.
SANFORD
Hey now—
JIM
Don’t hey now me, I hear that ten times a day.
SANFORD
Well you wouldn’t if I didn’t always have to save you from yourself.
JIM
What the hell does that mean?
SANFORD
Open mouth, insert foot.
JIM
Screw you.
SANFORD
Back at ‘ya.
As Sanford goes to reopen the door, it suddenly is pushed open by CYNTHIA, their boss.
CYNTHIA
I can hear you two quarreling like sisters down the hall.
JIM
We’re not, we’re just—
CYNTHIA
I don’t care, I don’t have time for it.
(she throws a folder on Jim’s desk)
They’ve rejected the proposal.
JIM
What?
SANFORD
Who?
CYNTHIA
The board of trustees. They said it lacked forethought and fiscal responsibility.
JIM
That blows.
CYNTHIA
We’ve got to have a new plan in place by Monday. Emergency meeting at noon.
(turning back toward door)
I’m going to grab my laptop, be right back.
She exits.
JIM
(turning to Sanford, who is starting to say something)
SANFORD
What?
JIM
Get out. Go home. I’ll do this.
SANFORD
No way.
JIM
I said I got this.
SANFORD
I’m not leaving you alone with her.
JIM
Get your mind out of the gutter. I wasn’t thinking about –
SANFORD
That’s all you think about.
JIM
(beat)
So what? You got morals, now?
SANFORD
No, but I want to keep my job. And help you keep yours.
JIM
(a new tack)
Hey, dude, this could be the best thing that ever happened to me. A weekend locked in battle–hot, debating, thirst-quenching, raunchy battle—with the Virgin Queen. And what’s good for me is good for you.
SANFORD
You think a lot of yourself, don’t you?
JIM
I am, I say modestly, undefeated. I came, I saw, I conquered. And came again.
CYNTHIA
(entering)
Going somewhere?
JIM
Um. No.
CYNTHIA
(putting her laptop down on Jim’s desk)
Well, now you can. Have a nice weekend.
JIM
You mean—
CYNTHIA
Yes. I do.
JIM
No, you can’t. I mean, no, this is our project, together, you can’t—
CYNTHIA
But I can. You blew it. Butt out.
(he stands there)
‘Bye.
After a long moment, as Jim looks to Sanford and back to Cynthia, and then he grabs his cell phone and car keys from the desk and backs out the door. Cynthia closes the door after him. She turns back to Sanford.
CYNTHIA (CONT’D)
I hope you didn’t have plans for this weekend.
SANFORD
Nope.
CYNTHIA
Good.
She crosses to him, grabs him by the tie around his neck, and pulls him to her for an intense kiss.
INT. KITCHEN—EVENING
JOHN and STEVE stare at a broken dinner plate on the table that is romantically set for two. A baseball sits next to the broken plate.
JOHN
She’s gonna kill me.
STEVE
Not if she doesn’t find it.
Steve moves across the room to the wall cabinet. He opens its doors looking for something.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Perfect.
He removes a stack of matching dinner plates and carries them back to the table.
JOHN
What are you doing?
STEVE
Watch and learn.
Steve takes the broken plate and places the pieces between two other plates in the stack. He moves back to the breakfront, puts the stack away, then returns with an unbroken plate he has removed from the top of the stack.
JOHN
The plate is still broken.
STEVE
Yeah, but now she’ll never suspect it was you who broke it.
JOHN
Me? You’re the one who missed the ball.
STEVE
Irrelevant at this point.
JOHN
Look, Leila and her roommate are barely speaking to each other. If she blames her for this, it could go nuclear.
STEVE
Then, things get tense with the roomate and she’ll wanna spend more time at your place … seems like a win-win to me.
JOHN
I’m not ready for that yet.
STEVE
Clearly, she is! Dude, she’s setting the table for dinner. She’s ready to play house … maybe even hide the sausage.
JOHN
Stop!
A key is heard in the door. Leila comes in carrying a bundle of flowers.
LEILA
Oh, hey, Steve.
Leila moves to the sink with the flowers while John picks up the baseball and tosses it to Steve.
STEVE
Well, I’ll leave you two to your romantic dinner. What’s on the menu?
LEILA
Whatever John ordered.
(Looking at John)
Let me guess, Thai?
JOHN
Your favorite.
LEILA
Maybe I should get out bowls if you ordered the curry.
Leila takes the plates from the table and carries them over to the cabinet.
STEVE
Enjoy!
Steve smiles at John as he exits.
LEILA
Remind me why you like that guy?
JOHN
I’m not sure I do.
He fills up a vase with water, and places the flowers in it, and puts it on the table.
INT. DARRYL’S ROOM—NIGHT
Darryl, at his laptop, listens to his iPod while he works. Reggie, his older brother, enters and stands at his desk. Darryl’s earbuds and homework renders Reggie invisible. Reggie waves his hand in front of Darryl’s face, startling him.
DARRYL
What the …????
He takes out his earbuds.
DARRYL (CONT’D)
How’d you get in here?
REGGIE
(looking at the door)
Duh.
DARRYL
Well, duh, you can leave the same way.
REGGIE
Is that any way to treat your big brother?
DARRYL
I’m not going there. Look, this paper is due tomorrow. I’m asking you to go.
REGGIE
Sure. But I need to borrow your car.
DARRYL
No.
REGGIE
What do you mean, “No”?
I mean, get out of my room.
REGGIE
Give me the keys and I will.
DARRYL
Not gonna happen.
Reggie crosses to Darryl’s bed, picks up his sweatshirt and Reggie rifles through the pocket.
DARRYL
(CONT’D) (jiggling keys)
Looking for these.
REGGIE
Stop screwing around. I need the car.
DARRYL
(standing)
Then give me a couple twenties, I just filled the tank.
REGGIE
Like that’ll happen.
DARRYL
I’m serious.
Reggie grabs for the keys. Darryl dodges his attempt.
REGGIE
What is your problem?
DARRYL
No problem. Just not letting you get your way again.
REGGIE
DARRYL
I’m tired of it.
REGGIE
(seething)
I need the car.
DARRYL
And I need the cash.
REGGIE
I’ll give it to you when I get back.
DARRYL
Right.
REGGIE
You calling me a liar?
DARRYL
Yeah.
REGGIE
Give me the keys.
DARRYL
No.
REGGIE
GIVE ME THE KEYS!
DARRYL
NO!
Reggie grabs Darryl’s shirt and yanks him in.
REGGIE
You’re pissing me off, kid.
DARRYL
Don’t call me that.
That’s what you are. A punk ass kid.
DARRYL
Stop it!
REGGIE
(taunting)
A punk ass kid who’s got the keys to Mommie’s car.
DARRYL
SHUT UP!
Reggie has hit a nerve. Darryl throws the keys on the floor. Reggie picks them up.
REGGIE
You’re such a girl.
He walks to the door.
REGGIE (CONT’D)
Don’t wait up!
Darryl is shaken.
INT. KITCHEN—DAY
Kristin is setting the table for six. Elizabeth enters, carrying a pink bakery box.
ELIZABETH
Jonathan’s here. Says this needs to stay cold.
KRISTIN
(without looking up)
There’s room in the fridge.
Kristin crosses to refrigerator.
ELIZABETH
You should see what else he brought. Another blond and this one’s just out of the cradle.
Kristin doesn’t comment.
ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
Where’s the salt? Joe needs more for the next batch of Margaritas.
Kristin bangs down a glass, she still doesn’t look at Elizabeth.
KRISTIN
Above the sink. I better say hi.
Kristin moves to go.
ELIZABETH
I don’t get why you’re mad at me.
Kristin stops and looks at Elizabeth.
KRISTIN
You’ve known about this for a week and didn’t tell me!
ELIZABETH
It might have been innocent. He was just buying some flowers.
KRISTIN
Not for me!
ELIZABETH
I didn’t know that!
Kristin walks to the refrigerator, Elizabeth blocks her way.
ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
Look, I’m not the one you’re mad at.
KRISTIN
Don’t be too sure about that.
Kristin walks around her.
ELIZABETH
What’s that supposed to mean?
KRISTIN
I saw you finish his Margarita just now.
ELIZABETH
What?
KRISTIN
At the bar.
ELIZABETH
I squeezed those limes myself, I wasn’t pouring a drop down the drain.
KRISTIN
ELIZABETH
O.K. Now you’re just pissing me off. What is this about?
KRISTIN
You’re a flirt.
ELIZABETH
What?
KRISTIN
How can I expect Joe to keep it in his pants when even my best friend is panting for him.
ELIZABETH
First, no offense, but I’m not interested. Second, I don’t cheat. And third, this is about you and Joe. If you have a problem with him, talk to him. It was just some flowers and you don’t even know who they were for.
Beat.
ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
It’s a big leap from flowers to affair.
KRISTIN
Do you think I’m being paranoid?
ELIZABETH
I think you always assume the worst.
KRISTIN
I do?
ELIZABETH
KRISTIN
But shouldn’t I?
Kristin just looks at her.
KRISTIN (CONT’D)
I’m doing it again?
Kristin doesn’t answer again.
KRISTIN (CONT’D)
Sorry.
ELIZABETH
Don’t be. Do something about it.
KRISTIN
I’ll try.
Elizabeth opens her arms. Kristin steps into a hug. Kristin doesn’t see Elizabeth’s relief that she and Joe have dodged another one.
ELIZABETH
Come on. Let’s see if Jonathan’s toddler speaks.
INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT
24–year old LAURA sets the table as a sweaty
25–year–old JASON enters behind her. As she hears the door close –
LAURA
Put it on the counter.
JASON
What?
LAURA
The chicken. I hope you got some kind of sauce too –
JASON
What chicken?
LAURA
(turning)
The rotisserie chicken. That you said you would get. On your way home.
He looks guilty, wipes his sweaty face with a towel.
JASON
Sorry. The gym was –
LAURA
Jason –
JASON
I know, but some a-hole was hogging the bench press, so by the time I –
LAURA
JASON
What is the big deal about some stupid chicken?
She just looks at him. Then she goes back to setting the table. There is a long beat.
JASON (CONT’D)
Oh.
LAURA
Yeah.
JASON
When do they get here?
LAURA
In fifeen minutes. You better get in the shower.
JASON
Laura –
LAURA
I’ll just order in. Ply them with wine and pour some cashews in a bowl. It’ll be fine. Go take your shower.
Jason comes toward her, reaching out to her, trying to diffuse the situation.
JASON
Laura, I’m sorry.
She turns away, heading for her phone on the counter.
LAURA
You want to order from Hiroshi or Giannato’s?
JASON
LAURA
Just go. At least you’ll be presentable.
JASON
Honey, you’re wrapped so tight …
He hugs her from behind, strokes her shoulder.
JASON (CONT’D)
In the history of the world, me messing up is not –
LAURA
You messing up is what I expect. What they expect.
JASON
Hey.
(he turns her around)
You’re not the same as them at all. Don’t say that. You know me. They don’t. And you know that I–
She pulls away, he grabs her back.
JASON (CONT’D)
I love you. And that’s all we need.
LAURA
Yes but–
JASON
That’s all we need.
LAURA
We NEED this to go well. I was going to ask Daddy to help with a down payment.
JASON
And I, I was going to ask your Daddy for his permission. To marry you.
This is news – good news – to her.
LAURA
But I thought –
JASON
We’re gonna buy a place, I figure we should just go all the way.
He kneels in front of her.
JASON (CONT’D)
Laura, would you do me the honor of marrying me?
LAURA
Yes! Yes I will!
She stands there, waiting for something.
LAURA (CONT’D)
… A ring? …
He stands up, kisses her.
JASON
Tomorrow. When I go out to buy some chicken.
(beat)
They carry diamonds at Kroger’s, don’t they?
They laugh, they hug – and the doorbell rings.