ONE WORD, MANY MEANINGS

The flip side of this reality, of course, means that learning a new language requires understanding how language develops. For effective communication, this includes understanding basic human psychology, the topic's context, as well as the symbols and word markers embedded within a particular dialect.

Given the complexity of language evolution, and the inherent social nature of human life, different meanings can be associated with a single word. A word may have one or more meanings in a native language and another meaning in a second language. In fact, many words have the same spellings and pronunciation but have different meanings and connotations across multiple languages. The similarity in spelling and pronunciation can be because the words come from the same language family or are loan words.

The phenomenon of different languages having different meanings for the same word is known as “false friends.” Examples of false friends include:

• “To use the voice” means saying something “aloud” in English, but the same words mean “ancient” in Dutch.
• “Mama” is generally used for mother, but the term means “father” in Georgian.
• “Si” means “yes” in Spanish, but it means “no” in Swahili, and “La” is used for “no” in Arabic.
• “No” is yes in Czech—a short version of “ano.”
• “Angel” in English means divine power, but it means “fishing rod” in German and “sting” in Dutch.

False friends are also present in dialects of the same language, as “chips” or “rocket” in the United Kingdom refers to “French fries” and “arugula,” respectively, in the United States.

Words can also differ across regions of the same country, as many in the United States may know “pop” in parts of the West, Midwest, and the Pacific Northwest refers to a “soda” primarily along the coasts or “coke” along the South.

ONE WORD, DIFFERENT MEANINGS IN ONE LANGUAGE

One word with more than two meanings is known as a homonym in English. A way to recognize homonyms is by paying attention to the context in which they are being used.

Here are some examples of homonyms.

• “Pen” means a writing instrument as well as a holding area for animals.
• “Book” means a set of papers to read as well as an act of reservation.
• “Tender” can mean sensitive, easily chewed, money, currency, or even refer to chicken strips.
• “Mine” as a noun means a place underground from where minerals are extracted, whereas as a possessive pronoun, it shows one's possession.
• “Interest” as a noun means wanting to learn or know more, and also additional money charged on a borrowed sum or earned on a bank account. As a verb, it means evoking curiosity or grabbing attention.

We recognize that most educators using this book will be holding conversations with families and students using English. Given its prominence in the worlds of commerce, science, and academia, English is unsurprisingly one of the most widely spoken languages globally. The language journal Ethnologue noted some 1.452 billion speakers of English worldwide in 2022,³ with more than 1 billion speaking English as a second language.

Given the multiplicity of meanings and potential for confusion, educators working with international and immigrant families are recommended to take the following cautionary steps:

• Provide more context than you assume might be necessary. This could include explaining how tests are used in your mathematics class, the way in which you grade essay assignments, or why you find your approach helpful to the student's learning. The better foundations you are able to place, the better chance you have of narrowing the scope of language use.
• When conveying important information, explain your message twice, using different vocabulary each time. This will help second language speakers navigate any false friends and homonyms contained in your regular speech.
• Provide ample space for family members to discuss your message internally. With respect and empathy, ask them to explain their understanding of your message back to you as a means of checking comprehension. They may use a false friend or use a word that sounds accurate but may not accurately capture what you were trying to convey, so it's best to clarify parts that could be spots for confusion. For example, you may say that you wanted to focus on their child more. However, this could be interpreted as a promise to provide “special treatment,” making it more essential to clarify what you mean, which could mean to work with the child more.

VALUES UNDERLYING OUR WORLDVIEW

Political scientists Ronald Inglehart and Christian Welzel are well known for their in-depth explorations of social and political change referenced as the “grand theory.”⁴ According to Inglehart and Welzel, one of the major fundamental changes occurring around the world is in the belief systems of people. The world is shaped by an interaction between the forces of socioeconomic development and persisting cultural traditions. Moreover, these changes influence mass values and produce growing pressures for establishing and strengthening democracy. The authors argue that socioeconomic modernization, rising liberty aspirations, and the quest for democratic institutions all reflect a common underlying human development process resulting in the broadening of human choice.

Their work is largely based on the annual World Values Survey, an international research program dedicated to scientifically examining social, political, economic, religious, and cultural values of people in the world. Conducted in waves every five years, this survey provides evidence of the persistence of distinctive cultural traditions within different geographic/cultural groupings (see Figure 3.1).

The authors use this map to depict graphically their findings of two major dimensions of cross-cultural variation in the world.

1. Traditional values versus secular-rational values
2. Survival values versus self-expression values

   Traditional values emphasize the importance of religion, parent-child ties, deference to authority, and traditional family values. People who embrace these values also reject divorce, abortion, euthanasia, and suicide. These societies have high levels of national pride and a nationalistic outlook. Families coming from or identifying with these cultures may express initial suspicion of movements toward gender identity and social justice.

   Secular-rational values have the opposite preferences to the traditional values. These societies place less emphasis on religion, traditional family values, and authority. Divorce, abortion, euthanasia, and suicide are seen as relatively acceptable. (Suicide is not necessarily more common.)

   Survival values place emphasis on economic and physical security. It is linked with a relatively ethnocentric outlook and low levels of trust and tolerance.

   Self-expression values give high priority to environmental protection, growing tolerance of foreigners, gays and lesbians and gender equality, and rising demands for participation in decision-making in economic and political life.⁵

The map shows the scores of societies for these two dimensions. Going upward on this map demonstrates the shift from traditional values to secular-rational and going rightward shows the shift from survival values to self-expression values.

The researchers use groupings on the map to demonstrate how differences along these axes between societies follow a distinct clustering pattern of relation to cultural/geographic zones. East Asian societies with a historical basis for Confucian-oriented ways of being place a strong weight on secular-rational values, with some interesting variance on the axis of survival and self-expression. Islamic-African countries place by far the strongest emphasis on traditional values and survival values, while Northern Europe's Protestant societies demonstrate a high orientation toward secular-rational values and self-expression values.

This map further demonstrates the socioeconomic development of a country is linked with a broad syndrome of distinctive value orientations. We see that an increase in standards of living followed by post-industrial knowledge is correlated with higher societal orientation toward self-expression and secular-rational values. In further research, Inglehart argues the degree to which basic survival is secure dictates the values and behaviors of a society. In situations of extreme scarcity and competition for resources, distrust of outsiders and adherence to firm hierarchical rule is a valid strategy. Conversely, in societies that have achieved a level of material wealth to enable the majority of their population to feel economically secure, openness to ideas around alternative ways of life and social patterns becomes more possible.

An immediate and natural reaction to this research advises caution around making too much of these societal differences, as individual variance on values, which could be even greater, exists within societies. However, subsequent analysis by the World Values Survey researchers⁶ found that the between-societal differences in values were 5 to 10 times as large a magnitude as those differences within societies.

This somewhat counterintuitive point can be illustrated through four fictional but archetypal individuals:

• Thomas, a middle-aged American. Thomas grew up and was educated in New York City, and has spent the majority of his career working in the financial district. He considers himself something of a globalist, and has traveled widely.
• Nirut, a Thai executive at an international financial company. Having grown up in Bangkok, he studied in the United States for both college and graduate school, and currently works in a global format, traveling frequently and interacting daily with people from around the world.
• Nantawan, a Thai teacher who grew up in the northeast Isaan region of Thailand. Though she maintains a working knowledge of global affairs, Nantawan has little opportunities for interaction with foreigners, with her focus primarily on her students and immediate family.
• Jeffrey, an older American farmer in Nebraska. Raised in the Midwest, Jeffrey has little interest in global affairs, though he maintains an active presence in his local community, serving several terms in the town government.

Despite the differences in personal living conditions, education, and other socioeconomic constructs, the research from the World Values Survey suggests that Nirut and Nantawan, and Thomas and Jeffrey are more likely to have similar values than would Thomas and Nirut.

Like most research, these findings can be taken with a grain of salt—however, educators should remain mindful of the lasting impact of initial conditions, and not assume an immigrant family has necessarily altered their values as a result of changing their country of residence.

PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCES

Parent-teacher conferences are the optimal setting for both parties to get to know each other and effectively assess the child's growth and development.

Ideally, a parent-teacher conference should include

• Sharing academic progress and growth based on classroom observations.
• Sharing and discussing testing data, assessments, portfolios, and assignments.
• Sharing and discussing the child's areas of strength and growth outside of academics.
• Learning more about the child from their parents or guardians.
• Discussing enrichment strategies to support students’ learning and issues that may be interfering with their learning and growth.

General tips to keep in mind when conducting a parent-teacher conference with international or immigrant families are as follows:

Clarify role of teacher

Even before parent-teacher conferences, if your school works with many multicultural families, it's a good idea to have a warm letter of the teacher's role sent out in different languages to better manage expectations. The role or expectations and perceptions of a teacher is often different in various cultures.

Prepare yourself

Make a list of items you want to raise with students’ parents and write out what you know about the family background (and what assumptions you have).

Send an agenda

Write down a list of discussion topics to send to parents in advance, if possible in their own language. This is particularly useful for parents whose first language is not English, as it provides a framework for subsequent conversations.

Have a translator

If you have students and parents who have different language backgrounds, arrange a culturally fluent translator for better and more effective communication. Students and siblings are often asked to serve as translators, but this can result in inaccurate or misleading information being conveyed. It also keeps the burden on the students and forces them to be cultural brokers, which they may not be fully equipped or have time to do. As some parents may be illiterate, verbal conversation is the most effective.

Be welcoming

Welcome parents with a positive attitude and encourage them to ask questions. Be aware that your friendly attitude may not be reciprocated entirely, depending on the culture. The goal is for you to be conscious, empathic, and receptive toward others' cultural norms, not to subjugate your own. Some teachers set up a bowl of a popular sweet on their desk to show their attempts to be welcoming and providing a comfortable, familiar environment.

Listen actively

Pay close attention to what parents have to say about their child and incorporate this information into your teaching style accordingly. Ask questions and respectfully demonstrate curiosity about the home environment!

Allocate time and demonstrate flexibility

It is generally best to allot longer fixed time slots for parents who need translations during the course of the conference period. Make sure you provide alternatives for additional follow-ups and feedback about the child's progress. It can be valuable to open these channels as in-person, by phone, and over text formats, to provide space for parents' preferred communication methods.

(Gently) Give concrete examples of areas of growth and ask questions about misbehaviors

The term “disrespectful” can spark a lot of turmoil for families from East Asian and Middle Eastern backgrounds (and others). Instead of giving your interpretation of the student's intention, be as factual as possible, giving statements like “Luke is often quiet” or “he can go more than an hour without speaking in class.”

From there, create the space to ask the family about where the behavior might be coming from. This is a wonderful opportunity to learn more about the student, the family dynamic, and even its history.

Parents will have a greater sense of trust and gratitude if they know you're helping their child with a weakness rather than just pointing it out. For parents who are not as familiar with the schools their children attend or not culturally or linguistically fluent in the main language used in the school, they may feel more lost on how to support the children. They may even subconsciously place a greater expectation on the role of the teacher.

For example, if your student is one who doesn't talk much in class, and it has been affecting the expectations you have for students, the following could be helpful.

Show the children a nonconfrontational/non-spotlight way to participate in class. You could start by having a game as an icebreaker where all need to participate.

For example, give students a multiple-choice question verbally, having students put their fingers up to show the response: One finger for the first response, two fingers for the second, and so on, and a fist if you don't know.

The first question should be a fun “gimme,” such as: Is Ms. Brito 1) tall, 2) small, 3) a math teacher, 4) a young teacher? Continue with a few more, some of which can be related to course content or learning points you want to make.

In almost all situations, the students never fail to participate. After a few of these rounds, the shyest student may be the most active. Following up with direct questions about why the student chose the answer can continue the momentum for engagement.

A tangible example like this will reassure the parents you are being creative and helping their child have a voice in the class. You could also provide a way they can help keep up the momentum for the children at home.

Giving parents some of these reasons to help reassure them you are trying to understand (and therefore help solve) the challenges their children are having will often be greatly appreciated and respected.

To have truly culturally responsive conversations, the parents need to understand the situation at school and not just have teachers respond in a culturally respectful way. The parents then can at least understand the above reasons, for example, when they may never have thought of these reasons. You're equipping the parents, as well, with tools so they can have deeper conversations. You are also showing to them that you are working hard as a member of the “village” to raise the child, or in this case, teach the child.

As some parents do not speak English, using apps to help teachers and parents manage translations can be essential. Parent Square, ClassDojo, and TalkingPoints are three that some teachers say they find helpful.

This book recommends that educators advocate within their school for administrators to provide teachers with translators for both normal and difficult parent conversations. In some school districts, a simple click on a home page of the school brings teachers into direct connection with a real-time online translator. While resource constraints are certainly a reality, the importance of getting information across cannot be overstated.

CONFRONTING INITIAL ASSUMPTIONS

Teacher-parent communication can include many assumptions when dealing with domestic and international students. These assumptions vary based on the cultures of those involved the conversation. You can assume that both teachers and parents want to make the child successful, but there can be other subjective assumptions, too. A teacher expecting a student to vocalize their opinion to add their share of value is an example of an assumption. If a student is from a culture where this behavior isn't expected, this assumption can confuse them and make them feel directionless if they have not received the proper guidance. Additionally, if a student is from a different country and isn't White, some teachers have assumed the student and parents do not speak English. One teacher thought a parent who identified as West Indian didn't speak English. She spoke more slowly at first and offended the parent, as she was raised in a predominantly English environment in the island context.

One teacher with whom we worked found it valuable to write out his assumptions around the parent's knowledge of daily life in the school, time spent supporting the student at home, and knowledge of the subject matter sometime before parent-teacher meetings. He then became more aware of his own biases and was better able to frame his questions. He recognized the meeting required a level of delicacy in communications so as not to appear condescending or threatening.

When sitting with the parents, this teacher found it useful to say, “I know this is probably wrong, but since some parents found it difficult to …, I thought I'd check in with you.…”

Assumptions often come from a lack of understanding of the significance of different cultural events or celebrations. For example, a school in Massachusetts held its most significant state testing during Ramadan. After many petitions by the families, the school realized it needed to make accommodations. Administrators changed some of their policies to support them in the way they needed. In a related example, a teacher noticed that some of her students would not eat during lunch. She asked why and they said they were fasting during Ramadan. She asked if they wanted to sit in her classroom during lunch and they felt relieved. When she texted the parents through a translation app, the parents felt very grateful and started to have a good relationship with the teacher as well as a sense of community.

By actively and intentionally allowing assumptions to be checked amongst stakeholders, the space is created for a more authentic and respectful collaboration.

In the spirit of being co-problem-solvers with parents, setting a list of expectations and classroom behaviors but mentioning it as how you're creating a safe space show you're aware of their cultural gestures and its meaning and you'll support students to extend their culture and get to know another, which is vital in the success of their education. You could ask parents to let their children know that by engaging with eye contact in this classroom setting, they are showing curiosity, respect, and engagement. If you indicate you will also echo this, then you now have a team, which will amplify the message to the students.

PARENT-TEACHER NIGHTS

Some of the above solutions to parents can also be addressed in presentations to the families as a whole. During parent-teacher nights, if most of the parents speak another language and are not fluent in English, having a translator or a teacher who speaks that language conduct the presentation can be a powerful way to demonstrate respect and caring.

If there's a pattern of low parent turnout, try to find out through consistent but respectful inquiry for the reason. In one school, teachers found that parents were not attending due to the need to balance feeding their children and getting back to work at night. The school provided a small meal, which allowed parents to bring their children to the parent-teacher night, take care of dinner, and get back to their night shift all in one shot.

A BETTER USE OF GOOD

The word “good” is quite common in the educational world. It is highly associated with teachers praising students. However, the word “good” can have different meanings and associations in different cultures.

In cultures that have a more survivalist set of values, when a teacher says that a child is doing “well,” an inadvertently offensive message can be conveyed that their child can't do any better.

We have seen countless conversations between parents from backgrounds highly attenuated to academic success (East Asian and Slavic, among others) and American educators follow these lines:

• Teacher: Your child is doing well! I'm very pleased with her grades.
• Parent: That's very good to hear. She works very hard.
• Teacher: Yes, she does. You should be proud!

The teacher continues to praise the positive attributes of the child, but the parent later finds out that the student was getting a B. Thinking back to this conversation could be upsetting or disappointing for those parents whose linguistic mindset equates “doing well” or “good” to “getting the top grade.” The teacher who provides this seemingly contradictory statement in the parent's mind could then be considered as lacking credibility and perhaps failing in efforts to support the student to perform at their true capacity. There is trust lost because the parent would have seen this time as a lost opportunity for the child to improve and learn more knowledge or skills.

Given this drive for continued improvement and success, we have seen conversations with Korean families that represented a true surprise for the educator:

• Teacher: Your child is amazing! He's proactive in the class and often with correct answers. He is one of the most intelligent boys in the class.
• Parent: Oh, he's not that great. He can study more and do a lot better.

In this case, a teacher may think that parents are being overly harsh with their son and become worried about the effect on the child's psyche. In the reality of the cultural construct of their own family, however, the Indian parents were extremely proud of their daughter, and simply felt it to be “good manners” to publicly decline compliments.

This wish to move beyond “good” is true of many families from Asian and Middle Eastern backgrounds, but can also emerge amongst many parents with similar educational values or who could behave similarly to any one of these scenarios.

One strategy we have seen be successful for educators who wish to engage with these families is to always be ready to lay out “improvement areas,” regardless of the level of achievement. This focus on “what else needs to be done” provides the space to be taken seriously as an evaluator and supporter of talent and fulfills the expected role of a teacher.

THANK YOU

As mentioned earlier, there is a large cultural and ideological component to compliments. In many cultures, it's taught not to accept compliments even when they are genuine.

Korean culture, for example, is dominated by collectivism, meaning many Koreans tend to develop a strong in-group identity and view in-the-group as an extension of self. This tendency is well reflected in Confucianism, which highlights the importance of family, clear hierarchical relationships, and obedience to authority.

In Korean culture, as well as in other high-context or collectivist cultures, people deflect or deny the compliment to avoid appearing arrogant and to show modesty or humility, as the examples show. Many Koreans are more likely to give credit to the people who are in authority or express their achievement as collective efforts rather than as personal achievement.

One of this book's authors (Marina) remembers poignantly an array of guests praising her mother's cooking, only for her mother to provide a withering set of self-criticisms around the level of spice and crispness. Her mother adroitly turned each compliment into a self-deprecating issue, a graceful exercise perfectly in line with Korean values.

In Finnish culture, despite the value placed on self-expression, most parents never compliment their children because they think their child will become too proud, rude, and arrogant. Moreover, Finns generally don't smile without any reason, and if you smile at people without any reason, they may consider it weird. When you compliment, they are more likely to say things that sideline your compliment, but when they praise you, they mean it.⁷ In Australia, meanwhile, when you compliment someone, they may feel like you are taunting them or do not mean what you are saying. They may also feel you are being sarcastic.⁸ On the other hand, if you compliment someone in the United States, you are likely to expect to receive “thank you” as a response; if you don't receive this acceptance, it can feel like an insult to the person offering the compliment or a lack of confidence in yourself.

One key illustrative example of this came from Marina's middle school experience. Her White American teacher complimented her and said her hair looked particularly shiny and beautiful that day. Ture to her Korean roots, where compliments are humbly denied, Marina said, “Oh no, not at all. Not at all!”

The teacher responded, “Sweetie, if someone gives you a compliment, then you need to accept it gracefully by saying ‘thank you.’”

Later that day, when at the dinner table, Marina's mother said, “Mina, you look particularly pretty today.” Marina, remembering the lesson earlier, said, “Thank you” in Korean.

Her brothers cracked up laughing, jokingly saying, “Oh! So, you do think you are so pretty?” pointing out to her that she was so conceited. They continued saying, “You're not supposed to say that, silly. You're supposed to deny it. Don't you know anything?”

There are a few layers to this story.

First, the different cultural norms of how to receive compliments and to some extent whether compliments should be given in the first place as it may not be received as intended. There's a cross-cultural crossing of wires that happens.

The second, there's an implied cultural value—you're not supposed to think you possess positive attributes: beauty, intelligence, athleticism, kindness, etc. This is not about having confidence or not, although it can appear as if it does. Humility is what's encouraged.

Third, students who hear conflicting messages may be confused. Some students who hear one thing from parents and another from a teacher, two main sources of guidance, can be confused on what is proper behavior, not yet realizing there is not necessarily a right or wrong.

Seth vividly recalls an episode of this after leading a U.S. high school trip in Japan that involved an exchange between baseball teams. During a mixed scrimmage, the American coach told one of the Japanese players under his care that he was “throwing real heat.” The player stared back blankly, gave a short nervous bow, and finally turned away. The coach was completely baffled, and this interaction sparked lengthy conversations between all educators at the end of the day. It became a great learning moment of differences in culture and values, or more accurately, perhaps, a difference in the manifestation of a value that we have categorized as a culture.

For educators in school settings, it can be helpful to be prepared to hear responses to compliments about their child from parents, “No, no, he's not doing that well. He could be doing better” or “It's all thanks to you” instead of accepting the compliment and saying thank you as mentioned earlier.

If the compliments are directed back to you, try to humbly mention that you are just doing your job, and thank them for giving you the pleasure to work with their student, while moving on to the next topic.

If the parent denies the complement, just thank them for giving you the pleasure to work with their child, and move on to the next topic.

This type of response can serve as a signal to educators that the parents place a high cultural value on humility, and thus help to steer the conversation toward areas of improvement.