CHAPTER 4

HOW DO DIFFERENT CONNECTORS CONNECT?

Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence win championships.

Michael Jordan

CONNECTING IS KEY TO BOTH INDIVIDUAL AND TEAM SUCCESS

Cohen and Bradford (2005) in their book Influence Without Authority argued that in order to achieve mutual goals people continuously exchange ‘currencies’. The most valued are: inspiration, task, position, relationship and personal. They explained that knowing what matters to you and others can help you achieve better outcomes in a much more participative style. If a key stakeholder in a project has an inspiration currency, it would be useful for you to use language and examples of how the work will impact wider society. Similarly, understanding yours and others’ connector type can contribute to improved team communication and performance. For example, a goal-oriented manager can disclose to others his/her preference for getting things done as well as any personal difficulty with slow pace, reflection and silence. This can help others understand the manager’s behaviours and flex communication (e.g. be more on point). In return, the manager can learn, over time, to value reflection and slower pace as a valuable aspect of effective group process for achieving bottom-line results. Tami and Guy, being aware of their different connector types, still needed to jump through the hoops in order to work together effectively.

Guy (dominant director type) was preoccupied with the deadlines for the publisher while Tami (dominant innovator type) was continuously adding new ideas and content. As you are reading these lines right now, they eventually succeeded in doing it but not without overcoming challenges: openly discussing differences and finding the willingness to collaborate across personal differences.

This chapter will give you:

• ■the tools you need to achieve mutually agreed goals while satisfying yours and others’ main incentives, drive and motivation, depending on your personal connector type.
• ■the ability to increase your self-awareness as it will make you naturally more mindful of inner motives, preferences and the connection between body language and personality traits.
• ■the ability to boost your confidence when creating alliances in environments where you do not have the positional power.
• ■the ability to enhance your ability to put together healthy teams while celebrating and building on natural areas of strength.
• ■an improved appreciation for diversity, which will increase your personal ability to react due to a new-founded internal flexibility.

Things to take into consideration before we embark on the journey of understanding others:

• ■Our connector type is only one facet of our personality.
• ■We have a dominant connector style and we also have traits of other connector types, which is the reason we can truly understand someone else’s dominant type.
• ■Avoid jumping to conclusions. In order to understand someone else, we need to suspend judgement of what is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and, by doing that, we increase our ability to really ‘see’.
• ■We can improve our awareness of identifying connector styles and develop meaningful relationships through practice.

HOW TO CREATE A HEALTHY TEAM

A healthy team consists of people with different dominant connector types. Robertson (2005) argues that people’s personalities differ in terms of how they contribute to the growth cycle of organisations. Every process has a natural arc. It has a beginning, middle and end. The beginning starts with an idea, an abstract thought, then there is a production phase which turns the idea into fruition. Each production requires a dreamer who would initiate the idea, then a producer who would create a plan and execute it. Within the process there is a need for a mediator who would connect between stakeholders, and a scientist who would provide data and verify that everything is going according to the plan. As people we have all those capacities, but each one of us is more connected to a specific aspect of the process. A well rounded and effective team needs people who own all those skills. Below is further information on the unique contribution of each connector type, which can help you put together a high-performing team.

IDENTIFYING CONNECTOR TYPES IS THE FIRST STEP

She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even, and perhaps more especially, when that person couldn’t see it in themselves.

J.K. Rowling

Hopefully, by now, you already know your connector type (see the table below for details and there is further information on the four connector types in Chapter 3). You can identify your personal connector type by visiting https://public.virtual.ashridge.hult.edu/section/connector_type. A hard copy of the connector questionnaire is provided in the Appendix.

Four connector types

Connector type	Incentive, drive and motivation
Director	Helps you become more effective in achieving goals
Facilitator	Assists you in connecting to others
Innovator	Engages others with your ideas
Specialist	Helps you gain confidence and finds ways to get the data you need in order to improve quality

The next step would be to increase your awareness of other people’s connector type, identify a potential break in communication, and find ways to collaborate in a way that would enhance people’s strengths. The ability to understand someone else, to see the world through their eyes, to validate their positive, can help resolve unnecessary conflicts and opens the door to outstanding results. The sense of being misunderstood is a big contributor to feeling lonely, disconnected and unmotivated. In order to thrive at work, we need to feel safe, be recognised, have a voice, contribute and be validated. We need to have the tools to cope when things are going wrong because they will.

Ready to embark on this journey? Let’s go!

FIVE WAYS WE SABOTAGE OUR CONNECTION TO OTHERS

Understanding others is a powerful tool and also a tall order. One of the barriers in forming teams and managing others is neglecting to acknowledge personal differences. When we become aware of differences, we often lack the tools to know what to do in order to make things work. We start with exploring barriers because our awareness of the challenges can help remove them. When we are trying to understand other people’s behaviours, we are subject to five different biases and challenges:

1. 1.We assume we are alike. We have a tendency to overestimate the degree to which others are similar to us in the way they think and behave. This phenomenon has a technical term, namely false consensus effect. We consciously and unconsciously assume that others think like we do, need what we need and feel like we do. When we lack information about another person, we tend to project our inner world onto someone else. We assume that internally they are like us while, more often than not, they aren’t.
2. 2.We attribute our mistakes to situational factors and others’ behaviour to their personality. A classic example is when I am late, I tend to attribute it to situational factors like, it was raining, the bus was late, and there was a traffic jam. When someone else is late, we tend to believe that it is part of their personality.
3. 3.Fear blinds us. When we are afraid, we will have difficulty assessing situations and people accurately. Fear is a big obstacle in our ability to understand others. There is a physiological reasoning to the fact we cannot reason when we feel fear. There is a decreased activity in our frontal lobe, the thinking part of the brain, in order to allow us to fight or flight. When we are in a flight and fight mode, it is challenging to be able to relate, understand, or analyse someone else.
4. 4.We get stuck. When we are attached to an outcome and/or to a particular point of view, we are less likely to be able to be accurate in our assessment of others, also we are more likely to miss important information. There are 1,000 roads that lead to Rome; being aware of only one road would limit our ability to get to Rome. Furthermore, there are 1,000 ways to find what we were looking for in Rome in other places.
5. 5.Our judgements are based on limited information. This is objectively true. We form a theory about what is happening. Our judgements are based on limited information. Please remember to just hold on to this lightly.

If you want to explore some of the other internal and external barriers to connection, further information is provided in Chapter 2.

IDENTIFY THE DOMINANT CONNECTOR STYLE IN OTHERS

We assume that, by now, you know your own connector style. The next step is to identify other stakeholders’ connector types. We have reviewed the benefit of doing this. Practically, there are two ways to do it: one is to answer the questionnaire as if you are this person, the other is to use the following table as a shortcut.

BUILDING RAPPORT WITH DIFFERENT STYLES OF CONNECTORS

In every relationship, the first few steps are fateful for creating an effective and trusting working alliance. We often arrive at these interactions with positive intentions but, unfortunately, people judge us not by our intentions but by our actions. It is extremely valuable to pay attention to our intention as well as feelings. Furthermore, there are many variables that we can’t control, including the other person’s gestures and reactions, though we can be responsible for our preparations and actions. Boaz and Fox (2014) argued in an article, ‘Change leader, change thyself’, that any organisational transformation starts with the senior executives’ willingness to change themselves, challenge individual and collective mindsets and role model the new required behaviours in line with the new strategy. They encourage leaders to look inward and examine inner motivations, habits of thoughts, emotions and behaviours in certain circumstances and their impact on others. Finding the common internal tendencies that drive behaviour is a good start.

To help with this, we would like to offer a brief overall orientation for each connector and several tips on how to build rapport as well as words/sentences that you can use to ensure deeper connections.

What directors want:

• ■To get things done and keep the task on track.

Suggestions for connecting with directors:

Before meeting:

• ■Come prepared to be assertive and argue your points in the meetings. They do not appreciate weaknesses or too much doubt.
• ■Be ready to volunteer and take actions from their to-do list.
• ■Show willingness and allow space while they are expressing their thoughts.

During meeting (main goal is to stay focused on the task and getting things done):

• ■Be concise and stay on track.
• ■Show interest in the progress of plans/milestones.
• ■Listen to what they say and do not interrupt.
• ■Summarise/paraphrase their thinking.
• ■Emphasise actions, milestones, bottom-line impact/results, financial gains.
• ■Think things through – do not jump in.
• ■Do not invade their space.
• ■Demonstrate energy, commitment and passion to their agenda. Say yes a lot/be in agreement.

Words/sentences to connect with directors:

• ■‘In order to reach our targets, we should . . .’
• ■‘I think . . .’
• ■‘We are on track with our action plan . . .’
• ■‘The reasons for the lack of progress are . . . and we can mitigate these by . . .’
• ■‘I am happy to pick up this task for you’ or ‘So what you want me to do is . . .’
• ■‘I agree with you.’
• ■‘Our next steps are . . .’

How directors operate in a team:

• ■Get things done on time.
• ■Willingness to take risks.
• ■Ability to stay focused and resilient in the face of setbacks.
• ■Lead the group activity.
• ■Provide structure.
• ■Unblock problems and overcome obstacles.

What directors expect and need from their team to support them in getting things done. In relation to this, aim to:

• ■get to the point quickly
• ■be pragmatic/solution-focused
• ■pay more attention to the task rather than people
• ■help them deal with the emotional aspects of the task and how people are feeling
• ■give them information on how to ‘read the room’
• ■understand that beneath the surface directors long to connect
• ■help them stop and reflect
• ■draw on the input and information of others
• ■challenge them when they are being unrealistic
• ■help them learn to rest, play, have fun and trust others.

What facilitators want:

• ■To facilitate the group and ensure commitment.

Suggestions for connecting with facilitators:

Before meeting:

• ■Be warm, unassuming and approachable.
• ■Show patience with their need to talk.
• ■Be ready to accept that it is worthwhile investing in getting people on board.

During meeting (main goal is to make sure that group harmony is maintained):

• ■Be optimistic.
• ■Show empathy and willingness to be open and express emotions.
• ■Emphasise loyalty, values, connections and wider societal goals.
• ■Keep eye contact and make sure that you are engaging the other person.
• ■Listen carefully and mirror their body language.
• ■Be sensitive to their emotions and show interest and curiosity.
• ■Show motivation to include everyone and aim for a participative approach/result.
• ■Ask for their opinions.

Words/sentences to connect with facilitators:

• ■‘I feel that . . .’
• ■‘It’s an exciting opportunity.’
• ■‘We would love your input/contribution.’
• ■‘I value your experience/expertise in this area.’
• ■‘We want you to lead on this.’
• ■‘How do you think we should proceed?’
• ■‘Which people do you think we should involve?’
• ■‘This work will help emphasise social values’ impact.’
• ■‘Joe and Suzan are involved. We are hoping that you can join too.’
• ■‘Morale is low and we think this project will increase engagement and harmony.’

How facilitators operate in a team:

• ■Excellent and loyal team members.
• ■Can read the emotions in the room and maintain team morale and engagement.
• ■Hard working and continuously work towards group decisions.
• ■Sense of fun, enjoyment, collaboration and encouragement.
• ■Sense of optimism.
• ■Maintain harmony and avoid unnecessary conflict.
• ■Enable others to reach higher goals.
• ■Interested in values, justice and social meaning.
• ■‘Social glue’ not just the task, but also value the connections with team members.
• ■Networking with others.

What facilitators expect and need from their team in order to help maintain harmony. In relation to this, aim to:

• ■be involved and engage with them early on
• ■be open and honest with their views and feelings
• ■be positive
• ■help them address conflict, when appropriate
• ■help them with their tendency to please others and take on too much
• ■support with not getting over-emotional, and saying no/putting boundaries on others’ requests
• ■coach them on how to be less sensitive/dependent on feedback from others.

What innovators want:

• ■To renew the group with new ideas.

Suggestions for connecting with innovators:

Before meeting:

• ■Show patience with their tendency to move from one thing to another.
• ■Have belief in their good intentions.
• ■Come ready to keep things open ended, and do not employ too much structure.
• ■Be prepared to be open/non-judgemental, and supportive of their ideas.
• ■Give them time to express their ideas.

During meeting (main goal is to ensure that there is space for discussing new ideas):

• ■Use expressive gestures.
• ■Be optimistic about what’s possible.
• ■Show respect and listen to their ideas.
• ■Do not push for details and a great deal of planning.
• ■Excite them by offering new ideas/space for innovation.

Words/sentences to connect with innovators:

• ■‘I have an idea/concept.’
• ■‘Can you please tell me more about your idea/concept?’
• ■‘What can we do together?’
• ■‘It’s exciting/inspirational.’

How innovators operate in a team:

• ■provide ideas outside the box and new information
• ■ensure that the group does not close too quickly on a course of action
• ■bring in the big picture, provide fresh thinking and energy.

What innovators expect and need from team members to help the generation of new ideas. In relation to this, aim to:

• ■provide innovation/new ideas
• ■add fresh/new perspectives/energy to the status quo
• ■create shortcuts and improve ways of working
• ■support and follow up with the details on their ideas
• ■respect and give space to their innovative and curious mind.

What specialists want:

• ■To support the group process with data and expertise, to improve quality.

Suggestions for connecting with specialists:

Before the meeting:

• ■Be prepared to be quiet and listen.
• ■Aim to be slightly more reserved and unassuming.
• ■Come to the meeting with your facts/data/evidence.
• ■Offer an agenda and an easy structure to follow.

During the meeting (main goal is to ensure that data/facts/knowledge are discussed in support of quality):

• ■Stay focused on the task and key points.
• ■Avoid personal and social chit chat.
• ■Explain things quietly and clearly.
• ■Emphasise quality and data.
• ■Show respect to specialists’ professionalism/expertise.
• ■Use contained gestures.

Words/sentences to connect with specialists:

• ■‘I have worked in this area for X years and therefore believe.’
• ■‘In my professional view . . .’
• ■‘This paper/research/evidence suggests . . .’
• ■‘What’s your expert view on this?’
• ■‘How about we look for more data/evidence?’
• ■‘How does this work impact quality?’

How specialists operate in a team:

• ■data and expertise to the decision-making process
• ■support with facts and evidence
• ■pay strong attention to detail
• ■ensure reliable and consistent delivery of projects.

What specialists expect and need team members to make sure that data/facts/knowledge are discussed, to improve quality. In relation to this, aim to:

• ■provide data/evidence/expertise to the task
• ■not be too loud
• ■avoid conflict
• ■be on point/concise/relevant and not take too much airtime
• ■be highly dependable
• ■ask them about their views and expertise
• ■challenge them to network with others
• ■involve them in strategic thinking
• ■help them deal with emotions and reading the room.

HOW DO DIFFERENT STYLES CLASH?

Owen (2018) argued that conflict between people with different connector types is healthy and part of any organisational life. Although we experience conflict as a threat to our core beliefs and self-worth, it should not necessarily be the case. If we handle conflict as an opportunity for learning and growth, we can learn more about ourselves and open up new opportunities for collaboration. Margaret Heffernan (2012) in her outstanding TED talk, ‘Dare to disagree’, argued that healthy conflict is the fuel for innovation and progress. She suggested that we need to give people tools to challenge authority appropriately and a set of principles on how to disagree well with each other.

We believe that the first step in handling conflict effectively is understanding some of the triggers for defensive behaviour and flexing your style accordingly. There are other useful things you can do when you are in conflict.

See the following tables for further elaboration/information on each type of conflict. There are no ‘hard rules’ in this area and we encourage you to experiment with these tips and learn from your experience.

Directors: conflicts and tensions with other styles (directors want to get the job done and view slowness negatively)

Triggers	Challenges	How to connect
Slow pace and reflection	Directors may find time to reflect both frustrating and challenging while other connector types may require space to articulate their thinking and consider options	Explain that you want to ensure we (team) get a quality result and want some time to consider all options. Give the director a deadline when you will be ready with answers and OK to proceed
Lack of decision making	Directors prefer quick decision making sometimes at the expense of taking risks. This preference goes against others who may want to engage more people and/or require relevant data/information before making a decision	Reassure directors that you are on their side and want progress that will satisfy all requirements. Show flexibility in areas where you can decide and move forward. Use a direct tone and fill in the silences
Opening up agreed decisions	Directors favour closing quickly on decisions in order to progress and avoid ambiguity. They will experience opening up agreed decisions as both frustrating and stressful. Facilitators may want to open up agreed decisions, because they noticed that decisions are impacting negatively on harmony and morale. Innovators who are more relaxed about ambiguity may want to consider new innovative ideas that are suitable/relevant	Explain the rationale for opening up the agreed decisions in a style that resonates with the director. Say ‘We want to involve X so that we have her stronger support during the implementation phase.’
Discussion showing visible demonstration of emotions	Directors are oriented to dealing with tangibles such as plans, milestones, roles and responsibilities. They dislike the display of emotions that they perceive as irrational and getting in the way of progress	If possible, contain the display of emotions and reassure the director that you are on top of the task. Keep body language straight/focused and use concise language
Lack of progress	Directors want to get things done. Any delay/silences may be interpreted as lack of progress/not utilising time effectively. Others will be less concerned with lack of progress as their main preoccupation is new ideas and/or how people/morale are impacted	Show confidence, appear relaxed and fill in the silences. Reassure with ideas on how to put plans back on track
Low motivation/willingness to take up responsibility and actions	Directors are high energy and want to achieve results with engaged people. Directors will struggle with people who are not motivated and reluctant to take up responsibility	Point out the team members who are showing interest and are willing to take up responsibility. Use directive words on what can be done. Show empathy with the director’s frustration and offer new/practical ways to move forward
Too much ‘politicking’ and not enough action	Directors will view ‘politicking’ as something that does not contribute to the bottom line of the project	Offer to take from directors some of the ‘politics’. Explain how this activity contributes to the project’s progress. Frame ‘politicking’ as a positive activity that supports the completion of the task

Facilitators: conflicts and tensions with other styles (facilitators create harmony and view conflict negatively)

Triggers	Challenges	How to connect
People being highly directive and non-consultative	Facilitators are interested in teamwork and decision making. They will become stressed by a great deal of direction and lack of consultation	Listen sensitively to facilitators’ concerns. If possible, reassure with a timetable of when team consultation will take place. Stay open, relaxed, curious about them and honest about your views
Being told what to do without explanation	Facilitators are motivated by a higher purpose/social meaning and values. They will experience lack of rationale for projects as stressful	Offer a participative process to co-create the rationale for the project. Listen to their criticism and, where possible, validate their perspective in an authentic manner
People being assertive who are able to put down boundaries	Facilitators have a high need to please others and might feel slightly intimidated by people who can put down boundaries and say what they want	Explain the reasons behind putting down boundaries (e.g. self-care, other obligations) and reiterate your commitments to the wider social/values meaning and to them as human beings
Poor engagement/ignoring individual and team contribution	This will hurt facilitators the most. Ignoring their contribution will be experienced as highly stressful	Stay calm, reassuring and explain that their contribution is extremely valuable. If you have a criticism, make sure you tackle specific behaviour/input/topics rather than people/individuals
High pace/focus on the task with little space for reflection	Facilitators will experience this negatively. They like space for reflection	Make sure that you give them enough space to reflect and think with others. Signal that you value time and space for reflection. Also, emphasise that you value their contribution
Receiving critical feedback	Facilitators are highly sensitive to critical feedback	Make sure that you highlight the positives too. Remind them that you value their contribution. Do not be afraid to be human/emotional
Making a mistake	Facilitators may be worried that the mistake indicates lack of synergy with their values	To mitigate, apologise in an authentic way for any mistakes. Open up the possibility for a group conversation on what has happened and show willingness to discuss both contents and feelings arising from the mistake

Innovators: conflicts and tensions with other styles (innovators make things better and dislike follow through and too much detail)

Triggers	Challenges	How to connect
Not considering their ideas	This will be highly stressful for innovators who are highly invested in their ideas	Explain that you are very interested in their ideas and book time in your diary to discuss. Show respect, match their pace/enthusiasm
Too much detail in a meeting	Innovators will be stressed by focus on too much detail and can become bored quite easily	The best option is to refocus the meeting on the big ideas/dreams and ask other team members to follow up on the details. Keep the high pace and stay tuned to what is the overall thing they are trying to achieve
Heavy structure and mundane tasks	Innovators prefer an open-ended agenda to meetings. Heavy structure and mundane activities put them off	Try to add several agenda items that are more exciting. Allow for some free flow conversation at both the beginning and end of meetings. If you can, try to take away from them mundane tasks that can be better performed by other team members
Follow through/closure on actions	This does not play to their strengths and can trigger a great deal of anxiety	Stay calm and relaxed when they do not follow through on actions. Instead of becoming angry, hold in mind their other excellent input on innovation and change. Make sure that you listen and pay respect to their new ideas. When both of you are relaxed, choose two/three actions that require follow through and ask them to contribute
Too much focus on quality	From the innovator’s point of view, over-focus on quality may be experienced as annoying and over-detailed	Explain why quality is important. Listen to their ideas without interruptions. Help them see the importance of this aspect to their work, to customers and other key stakeholders
Not being able to innovate	This is the demise of every innovator	Look for an environment/ways in which they can continue to innovate, grow and develop
Being asked to optimise/build from existing work	Innovators prefer to start things from scratch	Remind them of the value of optimising from existing products/knowledge/relationships before rushing to the next new idea

Specialists: conflicts and tensions with other styles (specialists focus on the right decision for high quality, find it difficult to delegate and to handle ambiguous situations)

Triggers	Challenges	How to connect
Asked to perform ‘small talk’/social chit chat/network	Specialists value professionalism at work. They put a clear boundary between private life and work. Some may experience social interaction in the workplace as a bit awkward	Give them time, space and choice whether to participate and how to participate in a social activity. If you notice signs of anxiety, move quickly into the work agenda, which will be safer ground for them
Delegating to others	Specialists’ preference is to produce high-quality work and they find it difficult to delegate	Show the consequences of lack of delegation (e.g. over-work/burn-out, lack of team work). Encourage ‘small experiments’ with delegation of relatively minor issues and monitor progress. Offer for them to discuss delivery in team meetings. Review as a team how work is distributed, ‘critical incidents’, what’s good enough and how to support each other
Discussion on general/strategic questions	Specialists are more focused on their core expertise and details. They may find a strategic conversation more difficult/anxiety provoking	Give them time to prepare for a strategic meeting/task. Praise them for positive contributions and trying out new behaviours outside their comfort zone
Being told that they are involved in too much data	Specialists are focused on details and may find it difficult if you challenge their style/pattern of getting soaked in too much analysis and data	Praise them for being detail-oriented and, at the same time, explain the overall vision and the importance of handling competing priorities. ‘Good enough’ is OK
Conversations with little data/evidence that has no relevance/applicability	Specialists value data and practical ideas. They would look for these when interacting with you. Not having relevant data or providing ideas that are not practical will put them off and they will experience you as lacking in credibility	If you do not have the facts/data and/or practical ideas, acknowledge this and commit to searching for appropriate data/evidence/practical solutions to support the conversation and next steps
Being forced to a decision before they are ready/fast pace and insufficient time to think	This will be highly stressful for specialists	Give them time and space to reflect and offer ways to find out relevant information
Not taking into account their expert and professional advice	This is highly stressful for specialists	Reassure them of the importance of their expertise. Ask for their input/advice. Make sure you listen and integrate in the next steps. Talk softly and be friendly/unassuming
Show of emotions and high degree of conflict	Specialists put clear boundaries between private and work lives. They may fear emotions as being part of personal life/non-work	Try and minimise the level of visible emotion as much as possible. You can share feelings in a one-to-one setting and explore further
Context of ambiguity and change	Specialists have a desire for predictability and order. A degree of ambiguity can trigger stress	Seek and listen to their emotions/responses about the ambiguous context. To avoid paralysis, try and look for ‘smaller’/concrete tasks so that they can move forward
Managing upwards	Specialists are bright and highly intelligent and some may not be aware of their impact on others. Therefore they can be less skilful in managing their ‘boss’/upwards	Show empathy with some of their personal ‘difficulties’/challenges to communicate and connect effectively, especially upwards. Show the consequences of their behaviours and offer ways to improve
Navigating complex and politically sensitive matters	Specialists are grounded in contents/data and will be uncomfortable in highly complex political situations	Guide/coach them on how to best tailor their messages. When needed, explain clearly some of the human sensitivities and complexities
Asking for them to rush the final product/outcome at the expense of quality	Specialists do not like delivering poor-quality products	Acknowledge the dilemma between completing the task on time and quality. Show appreciation to the fact that they are willing to flex and go with ‘good enough’ product and quicker pace

ADDRESSING INTERNAL CHALLENGES

As human beings, we are complex. Our personality is multi-faceted. It is normal to have a dominant connector as well as carry aspects of the other connector types. This can create some internal tensions and challenges. A director type may want to focus on the task but, at the same time, he/she has an influence from a less dominant facilitator type, which makes them aware that driving hard the task is impacting negatively on the morale and the relationships between team members. They feel caught between a rock and a hard place. In this situation, they need to learn how to adjust expectations on delivery so that they can give enough time/space for building a relationship with the team and taking account of varying levels of motivation. Another example is someone with a dominant specialist type with a keen interest in the quality of the product. She also possesses a strong but less dominant director type. She is experiencing a tension between her need for a high-quality product (specialist) and an obligation to deliver projects on time (director). Her strong specialist connector type means that she is attached to high-quality work and has difficulty delegating to others. Furthermore, she is less able to form relationships and has difficulty influencing others (low facilitator scores). Here, it is important for the specialist–director to have a discussion with others on what’s a good enough product and reduce the pressure on high-end results to accommodate X’s need for completion on time. Also, show the consequences of lack of delegation (e.g. overwork/burn-out, lack of team work). Encourage ‘small experiments’ with delegation of relatively safe/minor issues and monitor progress. Offer them to discuss delivery in team meetings and review as a team how work is distributed, ‘critical incidents’ of missing deadlines, what’s good enough. Use email less and talk to each other, and team discussions on how to support each other.

Another common tension is between a director type (dominant) focused on a task who wants to get things done and a less dominant facilitator type who indicates that X is interested in creating harmony and pleasing others. Her strong director connector type means that X wants to deliver projects on time and, at times, loses empathy and patience with others. However, at the same time, X is torn as she is reluctant to drive the task too hard because of a less dominant yet important facilitator type that pushes her to ‘please others’ and avoid conflict with other team members. X is struggling to cope with this internal tension. In this scenario, it is vital for X to learn to manage her tendency to ‘please others’ by learning how to say no and trying small experiments of getting involved in difficult conversations/conflict and learning from these experiences. In addition, X can delegate more work to team members and seek feedback on whether setting clearer boundaries with others was helpful or not.

SUMMARY AND ACTIONS

• ■Connector types complement each other.
• ■Having diverse types in your team/organisation improves your decision-making process and bottom-line results.
• ■Improved awareness of the needs, styles and triggers for stress in each type can help you create better relationships with others.
• ■Our personality is multi-faceted (e.g. we have at least two dominant connectors). It is important to pay attention to the internal challenges created by each unique combination on our well-being and performance.

Action plan for improving team connection and productivity:

• ■Ask your team to complete the online connector questionnaire using the enclosed link: https://public.virtual.ashridge.hult.edu/section/connector_type

  A hard copy is provided in the Appendix.

  Have a team conversation on the following:

• ■What is the individual connector style of each team member?
• ■What are our patterns as a team? Our emerging strengths as well as our developmental needs?
• ■In order to perform and communicate more effectively, what are our individual and group priorities for action?