Chapter 6

Nonverbal Messages

Research has demonstrated that more than half of all human communication takes place on the nonverbal level. When you present in front of an audience, your audience will base their judgment of you and your message on what they see as well as what they hear.

Your body can be a very effective tool for adding emphasis and clarity to your words. Your nonverbal message is your most powerful instrument for convincing your audience of your sincerity, earnestness, and enthusiasm. Keep in mind that if your physical actions do not agree with your verbal message, your body can defeat your words. Effective speech delivery involves the whole person.

GESTURES—LET YOUR BODY SPEAK

Effective presentation delivery involves the whole person. You need to learn to use your entire body as an instrument of communication. You, the speaker or presenter, are the most important visual aid of all. Following are some good reasons to use yourself as a visual aid.

1. You do not have to darken the room to be seen. In the old days, the technology was limited to 35-mm slides or using an overhead projector. Due to the technology, it was necessary to lower or reduce the room lighting to be able to see any projected image. When you lowered the lights, it then became very difficult to see the speaker.
2. You do not burn out. Unlike overhead projectors and other equipment, there is no special lightbulb that can burn out and need to be replaced.
3. You yourself do not need electricity. There is no need to look for somewhere to plug yourself in.
4. Like a slide projector, you do not jam up.
5. You do not break.
6. You aren’t one dimensional.
7. You do not need a special technician to operate you.

When You Are the Visual Aid

Because you will be the focus of attention when using your body as a visual aid, there are some considerations you need to be aware of:

1. Do not have a sloppy appearance when you are presenting. You should always dress at least as well as the best dressed member of your audience. There are speaking situations where I am able to dress casually and wear slacks and a golf shirt. Other times, such as when I am in Dubai, UAE, the accepted business culture expects the presenter to wear a professional-looking business suit.
2. Do not bury your hands in your pocket. Later in this chapter, when I talk about resting positions, I will discuss what to do with your hands.
3. Do not play with your jewelry or with any change that’s in your pocket. Better yet, do not carry any change in your pockets at all. Many speakers find themselves fidgeting and look to do something with their hands.
4. Do not hide behind the lectern. This creates a barrier between you and the audience. Move out from behind the lectern.
5. Do use your hands (gesture) to describe as much as you can.
6. Always face the audience when you are speaking and do not face and stare at the screen. You should never turn your back to the audience.

Presenters who learn to use themselves as a visual aid will be more effective than those who do not. When you present, your audience judges not only your presentation but also you. If your audience is convinced about your earnestness and sincerity, they are most likely to accept your spoken message. Who you are is more clearly communicated through your nonverbal behavior than through your words.

When you deliver your presentation, your listeners will use all of their senses and watch you as you speak. They will determine whether:

  • You are sincere.
  • You welcome the opportunity to speak.
  • You truly believe what you are saying.
  • You are interested in them and care about them.
  • You are confident and in control.

Your physical actions speak louder than your actual words. Let’s consider the following example.

The Nervous Speaker

Shuffling his notes, a man staggers to the lectern. He clears his throat, grabs the lectern tightly and plunges into his presentation by saying, “It’s a great pleasure to be here today. I have a message of extreme importance to you.”

The effect of these opening remarks was anything but positive. Although his words expressed pleasure in addressing his audience, he transmitted a clearly contradictory nonverbal message: “I’m in terrible pain. I do not want to be anywhere near here.”

These visual messages were generated by simple nervousness and inexperience and were transmitted unconsciously. Such nonverbal communication branded the speaker as insincere, indifferent, and incompetent, even though he was none of these things.

When you speak, your audience will tend to mirror your attitudes as they perceive them through their senses. It is vital, therefore, that your body faithfully portray your true feelings. If you appear nervous, your audience will probably be nervous. If you fidget, they will perceive a lack of self-control in you.

Benefits of Effective Physical Action

Providing a true barometer of your feelings and attitudes is the single greatest benefit of purposeful, effective physical action in delivering presentations. There are other benefits was well:

1. Physical actions make messages more meaningful. People tend to become bored with things that do not move. They find it hard to resist the temptation to look at moving objects. In addition, audiences will remember messages that reach multiple senses; therefore, gestures, body movements, and facial expressions can be valuable tools when employed skillfully.
2. Physical actions add punctuation to your presentations. Written language includes an array of symbols for punctuating messages: commas, periods, exclamation points, and so on. When you speak, you use an entirely different set of symbols to show what part of your speech is most important and to add power and vitality to your words. To best achieve your goals, you need to coordinate your voice with your body, making them work together.
3. Physical actions help relieve nervous tension. Being nervous before a presentation is actually healthy and normal. It shows that your presentation is important to you. Fear and nervousness in public speaking work on three levels:
  • Mental level
  • Emotional level
  • Physical level

I have had a survey on my website for several years, and the survey asks only one question. How comfortable are you speaking in front of an audience? I give you a choice of four possible answers: very uncomfortable, slightly uncomfortable, comfortable, and very comfortable. More than 15,000 people took the time to take this short survey. I did not ask for any information about the person taking it. The responder was required only to answer this one question. Following is the breakdown of responses to this question.

How comfortable are you speaking in front of an audience?

Very uncomfortable 54 percent
Uncomfortable 27 percent
Comfortable 10 percent
Very comfortable 9 percent
Total 100 percent

You can see from the response that 81 percent of the responders said they were either very uncomfortable or uncomfortable. This says that more than 8 out of 10 responders fell into one of these categories. If you are one of those eight people, do not feel alone. You are in the majority. Being in the majority indicates that this response is normal and there is nothing wrong with that. Many of the participants in my seminars and workshops who indicate they are very nervous believe they are the only ones who feel this way. During the workshop they are very surprised to find out that most everyone else in that same workshop also has the same feeling of high speaking anxiety.

For those of you who are very uncomfortable, you may be surprised to know that many successful and experienced people all experienced high speaking anxiety. This includes people such as Franklin Roosevelt, Ronald Regan, Billy Graham, Jane Fonda, Barbra Streisand, and several others. All of these people, just like many of you, have admitted to extremely high levels of speaking anxiety.

PERFORMANCE ORIENTATION VERSUS CONVERSATIONAL MODE

In Chapter 2 I talked about some of the techniques you can use to reduce this speaking anxiety. I provided some physical and mental techniques you could use to avoid looking nervous. If I were to ask the 81 percent of my survey responders what symptoms they experience, they would most likely all list the same one. The physical and mental symptoms, along with their fear interpretation, combine to start a vicious cycle. When any of us experiences fear, regardless of whether or not these fears are of real or perceived threats, our minds and our bodies react to them in the same way. That is, our bodies begin to respond physiologically in the same way, and we begin to experience many of the same symptoms.

Extremely nervous speakers interpret these symptoms as being valid and begin to look for reasons why these feelings are justified. They say to themselves, “You see, I knew I would get nervous.” This self-justification further amplifies the symptoms, and the fears get worse and more intense. They then begin to worry about what the audience is thinking about them and focus on themselves and worry about their gestures, their language, their eye contact, and how they appear to the audience. They begin to look for additional reasons why they should feel this anxiety and develop an incorrect view of delivering a presentation and think of them more as a performance. Zig Ziglar, a famous professional speaker, says the word fear stands for “false evidence appearing real.” In the case of the high-anxiety speaker, it stands for “forget everything and run.”

You have to ask yourself, “What starts this process and vicious cycle of nervousness?” High-anxiety speakers approach public speaking and delivering presentations as a formal situation and as a performance. They falsely think that the audience is also looking at them and severely judging them and their performance. They feel they need to be perfect and cannot make any mistakes.

For the participants in my presentation skills programs, I ask that they approach their presentations as simply a conversation with an audience. Each of you carry on conversations every day with your friends, colleagues, and people you just met. When you run into a friend you have not seen for a while, you strike up a conversation and begin to talk for several minutes about what you have been doing. While you are talking, you are also using natural gestures and not giving it any thought as to what the other person is thinking about you. You are merely having a conversation.

When you are in performance mode, you feel you are being evaluated and start to worry about what you are saying and how you are saying it. In conversational mode, you do not do this.

This performance mode triggers your body’s reaction and triggers your fear. For many of you, this trigger point may occur hours, days, or even weeks before your presentation. I have been providing presentation skills programs for many years, and whenever someone in the class tells me he or she is one of these extremely high-anxiety speakers, I usually cannot wait to see that person present. When I, along with the other participants, watch this person present, we are pleasantly surprised and in some cases shocked to see how well the person looked and presented. When the speaker hears that he or she did not look nervous—even when the entire class gives that feedback—that person often does not believe it. When I play the video of the presentation for the speaker, he or she is also pleasantly surprised at how relaxed he or she looked, especially knowing the anxiety that was present during the presentation. It is a real plus for speakers to be able to watch themselves present and see proof that they didn’t look as nervous as they felt on the inside. Because of their high anxiety, many speakers at my workshops have no desire to present in front of a video camera, as I require them to do in my presentation skills class. But watching their videos gives them a new perspective on how they truly look while presenting. Over the course of my workshop, they are recorded several times. They get to watch these videos and eventually start to realize that their perception before was unfounded.

I work with these participants in my class to prepare and deliver their presentations using conversational language and phrases. Many presenters try to memorize what they have on their slides. What’s worse, the language or phrases they put on their slides is not conversational style language.

When asked what is the one piece of advice I can share to help reduce performance anxiety, I tell them they need to approach preparing and delivering presentations as a conversation. They need to focus on simply having a conversation with their audience using conversational language. This is key. What you need to do is to first use very little text on your visual aids. The more text you place on your visual, the more you will have a tendency to read the text on your visual aid. Instead, use short conversational phrases (they do not have to be complete sentences). This does a couple of things for you.

1. It allows you to quickly see and capture the short phrase in your mind.
2. It then allows you to conversationally state what you want to say using this short phrase as an aid to what you need to say. It is not important that you worry about the exact words before you say them. Just say the words in a conversational sentence using your own natural conversational style.

Too many presenters, when preparing their visual aids, write out complete sentences because they want to make sure they do not forget something. The problem with this is that you end up reading that entire text on the visual aid when you present because you feel you need to do so to sound perfect. Furthermore, you will have a tendency to use your written style instead of your speaking, conversation style. For most people, this is completely different. The sooner you can learn to write like you speak and do so in a conversational manner, the easier this process becomes. Also, by limiting the amount of text on your slides, you avoid staring at the visual while you talk. When there is too much text on your visual aid, you are almost forced to keep looking back at it to avoid losing your place.

Once you have modified your visual aid to have only simple phrases or even have a picture, you will find yourself speaking more conversationally. Not relying on too much text will actually make it less restrictive to you and what you are going to say. You may see this slide several times, and each time say it slightly differently. That’s okay. Do not get hung up thinking that you need to say it the same every time. Some people feel the need to memorize what they want to say, but this is the worst thing you can do.

Once you begin to use conversational language and a conversational delivery, you will begin to use more natural gestures. Using this conversational approach will greatly improve your speaking as a presenter. Performance-oriented speakers, on the other hand, are so focused on saying the right words, using the right gestures, and using the right vocal inflection that they get caught up in trying to analyze their presentations while they are presenting. When they do this, they are not focusing on communicating their message conversationally. Think about it. When you run into a friend you have not seen in a while and strike up a conversation, you just have a conversation. You are not saying to yourself, “Do this with my hand, stand here while I talk, and say this and say that.” You just have a conversation.

As a presenter, you need to use this same approach and focus on using your natural speaking style to have a conversation with your audience. You need to adapt the same one-on-one conversational style you use when talking to a friend and bring that same style to your presentations.

Think about this for a second. If, after not having seen you for a long time, I ran into you on the street and asked you to tell me what you do for a living, you would conversationally describe what you do. If instead, I asked you during one of my presentation classes the same question when you first arrived in the workshop room, again you would probably say the same general thing but not using the exact same words. If later that morning, I asked you to stand up in front of the class and share with us what you do for a living, you would have a tendency to go into performance mode—simply because you stood up in front of a group of people. Do not do this.

Just stand up and speak to the audience in the exact manner you did when you spoke to me on the street or when you walked in the classroom. Have a conversation with the audience. The sooner you can approach your presentation using this conversational style, the sooner you will see your anxiety reduce—and your presentations will automatically improve.

Improve with Experience

You will find that the more you present and the more experience you gain, the easier this will become. Experienced speakers generally have lower anxiety than speakers with less experience. To gain experience you need to speak. High-anxiety presenters tend to avoid giving presentations and thus do not give themselves the experience they need to improve. These high-anxiety speakers avoid, at all costs, giving presentations. The sooner you actually get up and speak, the sooner this will change.

Your Speaking Posture and Gestures

A common question from nervous presenters is, “What do I do with my stupid hands?” How you position your body when you speak communicates a set of visual messages to an audience. Good posture also helps presenters breathe properly and project their voice more effectively. In this next section, I am going to discuss the use of gestures and how to use your hands effectively.

Gestures are specific body movements that should be used to reinforce your verbal message. Most gestures are made using your hands and arms. Your hands can be a marvelous tool for communication. Your gestures can suggest a very precise meaning to an audience. To be an effective presenter, your gestures need to be purposeful. They must have the same meaning to the audience as they do to you, the presenter. Gestures are used to reflect not only what is being said, but the total personality behind the message. No other kind of physical action can enhance your presentations in as many ways as gestures. Let’s look at some of the key attributes about gestures:

  • Gestures clarify and support your words. They strengthen the audience’s understanding of your verbal message.
  • Gestures dramatize your ideas. They help paint vivid pictures in your listeners’ minds.
  • Gestures lend emphasis and vitality. They help you convey your feelings and your attitudes.
  • Gestures help dissipate nervous tension. They are a good outlet for nervous energy. Using gestures will help dissipate that nervous energy.
  • Gestures function as visual aids. They enhance audience attentiveness and retention.
  • Gestures stimulate audience participation. They help elicit the response you want.
  • Gestures are highly visible. They provide visual support.

TYPES OF GESTURES

Gestures can be grouped into four main categories.

1. Descriptive gestures: These are used to describe something. This may include how big something is, how long it is, how tall it is, how wide it is, how heavy it is, where it is located, what it does, and so on. Descriptive gestures are used the most during a presentation.
Example: Try this for yourself. Stand up and think about how you would describe, using your hands, something that is tiny. Now describe something that looks round. What did you do with your hands? Initially you had to think because I asked you to describe some specific things. Using your hands and your body, how would you show something that is underneath, something that is next to you, something that is off in the distance? Notice what you are doing with your hands. A descriptive gesture is best used for these types of examples.
2. Emphatic gestures: These gestures underscore what is being said (e.g., a clenched fist suggests strong feelings, such as anger or determination).
Example: Think about when you watch Tiger Woods sink that 20-foot putt and he clenches his fist and shakes his arm with excitement. Remember your excitement when you rolled that strike during a game of bowling. These are emphatic gestures.
3. Suggestive gestures: These are symbols of ideas or emotions that suggest some kind of action.
Example: You extend out your hand with the palm of your hand facing up asking for someone to pass you the pen.
4. Prompting gestures: These are used to evoke a desired response from the audience.
Example: While you are presenting, you raise your hand while asking your audience if they have any questions. By you raising you hand first, you are prompting them to raise their hands.

LOCATIONS OF GESTURES

The location of your gestures can influence the emotion communicated by the actual gesture you use. Gestures, depending on their meaning, have different locations relative to the body.

1. Gestures above the shoulders suggest physical height, inspiration, uplift, or emotion.
2. Gestures below the shoulders indicate sadness, rejection, apathy, or condemnation.
3. Gestures at or near the shoulders suggest a calmness or serenity.

The most frequently used gestures involve an open palm held outward toward the audience. Holding your palm outward implies giving or receiving something. Unfortunately, this sort of gesture is used unconsciously by many speakers as movement without any specific meaning.

A palm held downward expresses suppression, secrecy, completion, stability, or a covering over.

A palm held upward and outward suggests halting or repulsion. The hands can also be used to imply measurement (e.g., tall, small, long).

Don’t Keep Your Hands to Yourself

There are speakers who, with a well-placed gesture, can move an audience to the edge of their seats. For many speakers, however, the only body movements included in presentations are the frantic clutching of note cards and the grasping of the lectern for support.

Body movements can make or break a presentation. You can motivate your audience through well-timed gestures, pacing, and, of course, eye contact. The problem is that most presenters keep their gestures very close to their bodies and do not use large enough gestures. They may raise their hands but do so in a limp manner and without any enthusiasm. All presenters, especially those with little experience, keep their movements restricted and within a tight comfort zone. In Figure 6.1 I have defined our natural comfort zone.

Figure 6.1 Comfort zone. To be more dynamic, presenters need to use larger gestures outside their comfort zone. In other words, exaggerate what you want to do naturally.

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When we first present, we tend to restrict the degree to which we gesture within a very small comfort zone. The more anxious a presenter a person is, the smaller and tighter the comfort zone. This comfort zone varies from presenter to presenter, but in most cases, the natural comfort zone is too small for your gestures to be effective and easily seen by the audience.

The challenge is to force yourself to step out of your comfort zone and use bigger gestures. As a novice or inexperienced presenter, this is more difficult to do because we want to stay in our natural comfort zone. When we do use more energy and go outside our natural comfort zone, we think we are gesturing too much, when, in fact, we are not. Most speakers believe that they use gestures too much when they are not using them enough.

To use more effective gestures, all you need to do is to gesture exactly the way you naturally do but make the gestures bigger. For example, if you take a 6-inch step forward to emphasize a point, next time take a 12-inch step instead—same motion, same direction, but bigger. Gestures should consist of purposeful movements of the head, shoulders, arms, hands, and entire body.

What Do I Do with My Hands When I Am Not Gesturing?

Many presenters say, “I never know what to do with my hands when I am not talking.” Most people are not sure where to put their hands and feel very uncomfortable. It is very important to find a good resting position. There is no right resting position, and you may like to use more than one type of resting position.

The resting position is where you start and end your gesture. Most gestures start from the center of your body and move out, up, down, or to the side. I have provided you with the top six resting position used by presenters today (see Figures 6.2 through 6.7). Look at each of these resting positions. Notice that your hands are centered in front of your body, at waist level. Your arms should also be bent.

Figure 6.2 Nondescript or open resting position. Hands held at waist level with palms up.

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Figure 6.3 The prayer position. Hands held at waist level and folded.

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Figure 6.4 The spider or steeple position. Hands held at waist level with fingertips lightly touching.

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Figure 6.5 The opera singer position. Hands held at waist level with hands clasped.

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Figure 6.6 The fig leaf position. Hands crossed just below waist level.

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Figure 6.7 The reversed fig leaf position. Hands crossed behind back at waist level.

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All too often, when men stand up to speak, the first thing they do is put their hands in their pockets. As they continue their presentations, their hands go deeper and deeper and deeper until then cannot go any farther. When they eventually try to use their hands to gesture, they find that their hands are buried so deep in their pockets that they have difficulty getting them out.

As discussed earlier, there is also the habit of playing with pocket change. The only person this appeases is the person playing with the change in the pocket. Many women have a habit of playing with their jewelry, hair, or clothes. They are either tugging with an earring, brushing their hair back with their fingers, or pulling their suit jacket down. Each of these habits can be distracting to an audience. Practice using each of the resting positions shown and see which ones are most comfortable to you. Try not to use only one type of resting position. Use a couple because this will give your audience a different look.

HOW TO GESTURE EFFECTIVELY

Gestures are reflections of every speaker’s individual personality. What’s right for one presenter, may not feel right for another; however, the following six rules apply to anyone who seeks to become a dynamic presenter:

Rule 1: Respond naturally to what you think, feel, and see. It is natural for you to gesture, and it’s unnatural for you to not gesture. Each if us gestures every day whether or not we are thinking about it. Using gestures should come natural. When you inhibit your movement and hold back your desire to gesture, you’ll probably become tense. Let the gesture happen naturally but try to exaggerate the gesture slightly to give it more dynamics.
Rule 2: Create the condition for gesturing, not the gesture itself. When you speak, you should be totally involved with communicating and not thinking about your hands. Your gestures should be motivated by the content of your presentation.
Rule 3: Suit the action to the word and the occasion. Your visual and verbal messages must function as partners in communicating the same thought or feeling. Every gesture you make should be purposeful and reflective of your words so that the audience will note only the effect, not the gesture itself. Do not overdo your gestures, or you will draw the listener away from your message. Younger audiences are usually attracted to a presenter who uses vigorous gestures. Older, more conservative groups may feel irritated or threatened by a presenter whose physical actions are overwhelming.
Rule 4: Make your gestures convincing. Your gestures should be lively and distinct if they are to convey the intended impressions. Effective gestures are vigorous enough to be convincing yet slow enough and broad enough to be clearly visible without being overpowering.
Rule 5: Make your gestures smooth and well timed. Every gesture has three parts:
  • The approach: Your body begins to move in anticipation.
  • The stroke: The gesture itself.
  • The return: This brings your body back to a balanced resting position.
The flow of a gesture—the approach, the stroke, the return—must be smoothly executed so that only the stroke is evident to the audience. Although it is advisable to practice gesturing, don’t try to memorize your every move. This makes your gesturing stilted and ineffective. The last rule is probably the most important but also the hardest.
Rule 6: Make natural, spontaneous gesturing a habit. The first step in becoming adept at gesturing is to determine what, if anything, you are doing now. The best way to discover this is to record yourself presenting. Recording yourself can help you identify any of your bad habits. Make a list of the mannerisms you want to eliminate and work at eliminating them one at a time. You will need to continue recording yourself and evaluate your progress if you expect to eliminate all your distracting mannerisms. To improve your gestures, you need to practice, but not during an actual presentation. Practice presenting informally to friends, family, members, and coworkers.

BODY MOVEMENT

Changing your position or location while speaking is the broadest, most visible kind of physical action you, as a presenter, can perform. Because of this, it can be either a tremendous asset or a tremendous liability to your delivery.

When you speak, you can benefit three ways by moving your entire body in a controlled, purposeful manner.

  • Body movement can support and reinforce what you say.
  • Body movement always attracts an audience attention.
  • Body movement is the fastest, most effective means of burning up nervous energy and relieving physical tension.

Body movement can also work against you. If there is one rule about this, it is:

Never move without a reason.

The eye is inevitably attracted to a moving object, so any body movement you make during a speech invites attention. Too much movement, even the right kind, can become distracting to an audience.

  • Stepping forward during a presentation suggests you are arriving at an important point.
  • Stepping backward indicates you’ve concluded an idea and are willing to allow the audience to relax for a moment.
  • Lateral movement implies a transition; it indicates that you are leaving one thought and taking up another.

The final reason for body movement is perhaps the simplest: to get from one place to another. In almost every presentation, you must walk to and from the point where you deliver your presentation (especially if you use visual aids). Always change positions by leading with the foot nearest to your destination.

Five Ways to Make Your Body Speak Effectively

Rid Yourself of Distracting Mannerisms

Dr. Ralph C. Smeadly, the founder of Toastmasters International, wrote, “The speaker who stands and talks at ease is the one who can be heard without weariness. If his posture and gestures are so graceful and unobtrusive, that no one notices them, he may be counted as truly successful.”

When your actions are wedded to your words, the impact of your presentation will be strengthened. If your platform behavior includes mannerisms unrelated to your spoken message, those actions will call attention to themselves and away from your presentation. Eliminate vocal and visual impediments.

Some common faults of inexperienced or ineffective speakers are:

  • Gripping or leaning on the lectern
  • Tapping fingers
  • Biting or licking lips
  • Playing with coins or jewelry
  • Frowning
  • Adjusting hair or clothing
  • Head wagging

These all have two things in common:

  • They are physical manifestations of simple nervousness.
  • They are performed unconsciously.

Recording Yourself

The best and most effective way to improve your presenting is to record your presentation and review it, paying attention to your body language, movement, gestures, tone of voice, and overall performance. Here is a list of specific elements you should look for when reviewing your recording:

1. Posture
2. Gestures
3. Body movement
4. Facial expressions
5. Eye contact
6. Voice

Remember, the first step in eliminating any superfluous mannerisms or language is to get an accurate perception of your body language and voice. Sit with a notepad and write down everything you notice on the video about your body language and voice.

Review 1: Review the recording without looking for particular mannerisms. Just listen to the presentation as if you were hearing it for the first time, and evaluate the overall impact you experience from watching the video. During this initial review, pretend you are a member of the audience and evaluate your reaction to the presentation, trying to separate the fact that you are watching yourself. This will be difficult. Here are a few questions to think about and ask yourself during this review.
  • Did I like the presentation?
  • Was it informative or entertaining?
  • Would I recommend someone else watch the video?
Review 2: Turn off the sound and look only for visual distractions. Jot down notes about what you observe. Make two lists, one for the things you liked and another for the things you did not like. Don’t worry if your list of cons is longer; each time you give a presentation your performance will improve. Look specifically for the following:
  • What did you do with your hands?
  • What were your facial expressions?
  • What did you do with your body?
  • Did you move around? Did you stand still?
  • Were there any mannerisms you found distracting or annoying?
  • Did you seem appropriately animated?
Review 3: Darken the picture or turn your back to the screen so that you cannot see yourself and listen only to your voice. Many people have never heard their own voice on a recording. Become accustomed to the sound of your voice. Your first reaction may be, “That does not sound like me!” When you hear your voice for the first time, you are hearing it from “inside” your head. While listening to your voice, focus on the following:
  • What do you like and not like about your voice?
  • How was the speed of your speaking? Was it too fast or too slow?
  • How was your tone of voice?
  • How was your pitch? Was it too high or too low?
Review 4: After you have completed your list of pros and cons, ask one or two family members to watch the video with you. Get their initial impression. Have them take their own notes, and when the video is finished, compare notes. Keep this list handy and tackle each negative point one at a time. Also remember to make a note of the positive comments!

Another important step is to gather all the notes and make another list. This is a list of those areas you believe need improvement. Make sure you are as specific as possible. Now take the items on the list and break them down into the following categories:

  • Voice and tone: This includes the tone of your voice, speed, pitch, and any verbal distractions such as uhms, uhs, ers, and ya knows.
  • Nonverbal actions: Break these down by body parts, such as your hands, facial expressions, legs, arms, walking patterns, and so on, and list them specifically. Don’t be surprised if the list is long. That’s okay. All speakers will have a long list when they first begin giving presentations. With practice, practice, and more practice, you eventually will see fewer areas in need of improvement. Look at the list and prioritize what areas you want to start working on immediately.

Make a conscious note of these areas and observe and listen to how you speak during your everyday activities. The next time you are at a party, at a business meeting, or with a friend, see if you notice any of these distracting mannerisms. Also, do you notice any of these distractions while talking on the phone?

Each time you speak, make an effort to eliminate or replace the distracting mannerism with a verbal or nonverbal technique. Practice every day. By making adjustments and changes in your everyday speaking style, you will find it easier to apply these strategies to your more formal speaking engagements, such as presentations at work, a toast at a wedding, or a speech to a large group.

Another helpful tip is to keep a journal after each presentation. Take a few moments to reflect on your presentation. Make notes about your strengths and weaknesses and write a brief summary on your speech topic, the audience, and any other factors that will come in handy for future presentations.

Build Self-Confidence by Being Yourself

The most important rule for making your body communicate effectively is to be yourself by being conversational. The emphasis should be on the sharing of ideas and not on the performance. Strive to be as genuine and natural as you are when you speak to family members and friends.

Large versus Small Audiences

Many people say, “I’m okay in a small group, but when I get in front of a larger group I freeze.” Other people do not like small intimate groups. Each person is different. The only difference between speaking to a small informal group and to a sizable audience is the number of listeners. To compensate for this, you need only to amplify your natural behavior by increasing your comfort zone.

Be authentically yourself, but amplify your movements and expressions just enough that the audience can see them.

Let Your Body Mirror Your Feelings

If you are interested in your subject, truly believe what you are saying, and want to share your message with others, your physical movements will come from within you and will be appropriate to what you are saying.

By involving yourself in your message, you’ll be natural and spontaneous without having to consciously think about what you are doing or saying. For many of us, this isn’t as easy as it sounds because it requires us to drop the mask that shields the “real self” in public.

To become an effective presenter, it is essential that you get rid of your mask and share your true feelings with your audience. Your audience wants to know how you feel about your subject. If you want to convince others, you must convey your convictions.

Speak from the heart and speak to the soul.

Build Self-Confidence through Preparation

Nothing influences a speaker’s mental attitude more than the knowledge that he or she is thoroughly prepared. This knowledge leads to self-confidence, which is a vital ingredient of effective public speaking.

Have you ever experienced a situation in which you had not prepared well for a presentation? How did it come across?

Contrast those presentations with those that did go well. Those are the ones that you had prepared for.

Use Your Everyday Speaking Situations to Help You

Whenever you speak to people, make an extra effort to notice how you speak. Observe, too, whether the facial expressions of your listeners indicate they do or do not understand what you are saying. Before calling to request something on the phone, plan and practice what you are going to say. Even this is essentially a short presentation.

Another exercise is to prepare a 90-second presentation about yourself. Describe who you are and what you do. Record your presentation and review it using the four steps described earlier. Since you are talking about yourself, you do not need to research the topic; however, you do need to prepare what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Plan everything, including your gestures and walking patterns.

Facial Expressions

Leave the deadpan expression to poker players. A speaker realizes that appropriate facial expressions are an important part of effective communication. In fact, facial expressions are often the key determinant of the meaning behind the message. People watch a presenter’s face during a presentation. When you speak, your face, more clearly than other parts of your body, communicates to others your attitudes, feelings, and emotions.

Remove expressions that don’t belong to your face.

Inappropriate facial expressions include distracting mannerisms or unconscious expressions not rooted in your feelings, attitudes, and emotions. In much the same way that some speakers perform random, distracting gestures and body movements, nervous speakers often release excess energy and tension by unconsciously moving their facial muscles (e.g., licking lips, tightening of the jaw).

One type of unconscious facial movement that is less apt to be read clearly by an audience is involuntary frowning. This type of frowning occurs when a presenter attempts to deliver a memorized speech.

There are no rules governing the use of specific expressions. If you relax your inhibitions and allow yourself to respond naturally to your thoughts, attitudes, and emotions, your facial expressions will be appropriate and will project sincerity, conviction, and credibility.

In 1976, Dr. Paul Eckman, along with Wallace Friesen, developed what is called the Facial Action Coding System (FACS). Dr. Eckman’s work has shown that the face can communicate more than 40,000 expressions. This FACS system is the most popular standard currently used to systematically categorize the physical expression of emotions, and it has proved useful to both psychologists and to many other professionals. Those who may be interested in Dr. Eckman’s work will find his research to be very fascinating.

Eye Contact

Eye contact is the cement that binds together presenters and their audiences. When you speak, your eyes involve your listeners in your presentation. There is no surer way to break a communication bond between you and the audience than by failing to look at your listeners. No matter how large your audience may be, each listener wants to feel that you are talking to him or her.

The adage “The eyes are the mirror to the soul” underlines the need for you to convince people with your eyes, as well as with your words. Only by looking at your listeners as individuals can you convince them that you are sincere, are interested in them, and care whether they accept your message.

When you speak, your eyes also function as a control device you can use to ensure your listeners’ attentiveness and concentration. Eye contact can also help you overcome nervousness by making your audience a known quantity. Effective eye contact is an important feedback device that makes the speaking situation a two-way communication process. By looking at your audience, you can determine how they are reacting. When you develop the ability to gauge the audience’s reactions and adjust your presentation accordingly, you will be a much more effective presenter.

How to Use Your Eyes Effectively

1. Know your material. Know your material so well that you don’t have to devote your mental energy to the task of remembering the sequence of ideas and words. You should prepare well (remember the nine Ps in Chapter 3) and rehearse enough that you don’t have to depend heavily on notes. Many speakers, no matter how well prepared, need at least a few notes to deliver their message. If you can speak effectively without notes, by all means do so. If you must use notes, that’s fine. Just do not let them be a substitute for preparation and rehearsal. When experienced presenters use notes, they often take advantage of natural pauses such as audience laughter or the aftermath of an important point to glance briefly at their notes. To make this technique work, keep your notes brief.
2. Establish a personal bond with listeners. How do you do this? Begin by selecting one person and talking to him or her personally. Maintain eye contact with that person long enough to establish a visual bond (about three to five seconds). This is usually the equivalent of a sentence or a thought. Then shift your gaze to another person. In a small group, this is relatively easy to do. But, if you’re addressing hundreds or thousands of people, it’s impossible. What you can do is pick out one or two individuals in each section of the room and establish personal bonds with them. Then each listener will get the impression you’re talking directly to him or her.
3. Monitor visual feedback. While you are talking, your listeners are responding with their own nonverbal messages. Use your eyes to actively seek out this valuable feedback. If individuals aren’t looking at you, they may not be listening either. Their reasons may include one or more of these factors:
They may not be able to hear you.
Solution: If you are not using a microphone, speak louder and note if that works.

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They may be bored.
Solution: Use some humor, increase your vocal variety or add powerful gestures or body movements.

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They may be puzzled.
Solution: Repeat and/or rephrase what you have just said.

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They seem to be fidgeting nervously.
Solution: You may be using distracting mannerisms. Maybe you have food on your clothes (or worse, maybe your blouse in unbuttoned or your fly isn’t closed). Make sure you are aware of these embarrassing possibilities before and during your presentation. If necessary, try to correct them without bringing more attention to them. On the other hand, if your listeners’ faces indicate pleasure, interest, and close attention, don’t change a thing. You’re doing a great job!

Your Appearance

If your listeners will be wearing suits and dresses, wear your best suit or dress—the outfit that brings you the most compliments. Make sure that every item of clothing is clean and well-tailored. Don’t wear jewelry that might glitter or jingle when you move or gesture. This might divert attention away from your presentation. For the same reason, empty your pockets of bulky items and anything that will make noise when you move.

Part of the first impression you give occurs even before you are introduced to deliver your presentation. As the audience arrives, your preparation should be concluded. You should not have to study your presentation. Instead, mingle with the audience, and project that same friendly, confident attitude that will make your presentation a success.

When you present, especially if you aren’t well known to the audience, the most crucial part of your presentation is the first few minutes. During that initial segment, the audience will be making critical judgments about you. Your listeners will decide whether you are confident, sincere, friendly, eager to address them, and worthy of their attention. In large measure, they will base this decision on what they see. After your introduction, walk purposely and confidently to the speaking position.

Walking Patterns

Why move in the first place? Moving forces people to focus and follow you. The way you walk from your seat to the speaker’s position is very important. When you are introduced, you should appear eager to speak. Too many speakers look as though they are heading toward their execution.

Walk confidently from your seat to the lectern. Pause there for a few seconds, then move out from behind the lectern. As discussed before, it is wise to use the lectern as a point of departure, not as a barrier to hide behind. Smile before you say your first words. Be careful not to stand too close to, or move beyond, the people in the front row.

Be careful not to walk too much. Continuous pacing is very distracting and will work against you. Purposeful walking, on the other hand, can be an effective way to stress an important idea. It is essential that your walk have intent and not just be a random shift of position. Taking about three steps, moving at a shallow angle, usually works best.

When using visual aids, use three positions. One position is your “home” position and should be front and center. The other two positions should be relatively near the home position. Never stand in front of any visual aid. When you are practicing your presentation, make sure you also practice your walking patterns. Try walking to and from your three positions. These positions should be planned just as your hand gestures are. When standing still, remember to maintain good posture. Stand up straight.

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