CHAPTER EIGHT
Use the Power of Silence
Love should be in season all year long
and within the reach of everyone.
Everyone can harvest love without limit.
Everyone can obtain this love through
meditation, a spirit of prayer and sacrifice,
through an intense inner life.
RUMA’S STORY: The chapel on the second floor of the motherhouse was where I learned the power of silence. Every day, after Mass at 6 a.m., all the sisters would gather and welcome volunteers and visitors from around the world. On any given day, there could have been people from thirty different countries, sitting quietly and praying together. There were no pews, no gold-encrusted altar, no artwork. One cross hung above the altar, and two simple candles burned on each side. If you didn’t know where Mother was sitting, you wouldn’t know that she was there. She would be very focused on her prayers.
For me, the act of quieting my mind was powerful. It brought me serenity and clarity of thought and purpose. It allowed me the time to be thankful and to think. This did not happen immediately, however. The windows of the chapel always remained open, letting in the cacophony of a typical Calcutta morning. As a newcomer, I found this fully tested my ability to concentrate. My mind would go straight to the distraction. If it wasn’t the ambient noise, I was convinced that it was someone’s cough, or the temperature, that was at fault for my mind’s inability to focus. I’d watch Mother and the other sisters and see that nothing caused them to stir. When I asked Mother how she did it, she told me that she focused on God and that whenever my mind got distracted, I needed to bring it back to God. I understood what Mother was saying, and with time, I learned to discipline my mind to block the noise and focus my thoughts in the moment.
I continue to practice this kind of meditation to this day. It gives me the strength to recognize that many of the answers I need lie within me, if I take the time to listen to myself. It also gives me a sense of daily rejuvenation. I live in New York City, and I barely sleep. My early mornings are now the time I give to myself to just “be.” What a turnaround! Mornings have transformed from a time of stress, when I am overwhelmed by the perceived daunting requirements of the day, to a time to be grateful for my life and the beauty around me. Meditation calms me, and that helps me understand what is truly important to accomplish that day. Practicing it daily keeps my spirit strong. Prayer or quiet time was very, very important for Mother Teresa and her order. She saw Mass and prayer as times to be introspective, to reflect, to listen to oneself, and to listen to God. They were periods of renewal that helped her continue to show the love she had for, and the joy she felt in, her fellow human beings. In her words, “The more we are able to store up in our hearts through silent prayer, the more we will be able to give out in our work. We need silence in order to be able to touch people. The essential thing is not what we say but what God says to us and through us. All our words will be useless if they don’t come from inside.”15
Based on her experience communing with God, Mother Teresa wrote extensively on the importance of silence:
In silence we will find new energy and true unity. Silence gives us a new outlook on everything. The essential thing is not what we say but what God says to us and through us. In that silence, He will listen to us; there He will speak to our soul, and there we will hear His voice. Listen in silence because if your heart is full of other things you cannot hear the voice of God.... We cannot find God in noise or agitation. In nature we find silence—the trees, flowers, and grass grow in silence. The stars, the moon, and the sun move in silence. Silence of the heart is necessary so you can hear God everywhere—in the closing of a door, in the person who needs you, in the birds that sing, in the flowers, in the animals.... In silence He listens to us; in silence He speaks to our souls. In silence we are granted the privilege of listening to His voice.... To make possible true inner silence, practice: Silence of the eyes.... Silence of the ears.... Silence of the tongue.... Silence of the mind.... Silence of the heart.16
For a leader, applying the power of silence means clearing your mind and listening to your inner voice. Silence of the mind—stopping your mind—is critical. At times more difficult decisions will be coming at you than you think you can handle. Some people call this condition “information overload.” Making decisions is a daily component of leadership, so you need a way to make them. Silencing your mind relieves you of mental clutter and gives you the clarity to hear your inner voice’s answer.
To silence your mind, begin by eliminating all external distractions. If you are in your office, close the door and turn off all devices that could be distracting, such as your cell phone. All your messages will be there when you are done, and the voicemail service will answer your calls. If you have an assistant, tell him or her that you do not want to be disturbed unless it is a matter of life or death. It rarely is. If you are so important that you can’t take even ten minutes for this process, you have other issues to address.
Once you have established a quiet environment, let all your questions wash over you. Take a backseat and give your thoughts a few minutes to fight amongst themselves for your mind’s attention. One issue will likely “yell” louder than the rest. This is the first one to put your mind to solving. Think the issue through until you make a decision on it. Repeat this process one issue at a time until there are no decisions left to be made.
If you find yourself letting all the issues fight for your attention again, then stop yourself, go back to the beginning of the process, and start again. Over time this process will become second nature, and you will be able to reach a silence of the mind quickly and easily. Don’t be surprised or concerned if at times you revert to your old behaviors and begin to feel completely overwhelmed again. Stop. Then actively start the process again.
LOU’S STORY: When I had just become the CEO of a software company, a senior executive of our largest single customer, a multibillion-dollar global company, told me it was terminating our agreement because our company was in breach of it. This termination would have devastated our company.
Late that night I was finally able to get to a place of no distraction. I then worked to silence my mind, acknowledging each extraneous issue that came to me and then letting go of it for the time being. Because I had so many issues fighting for my attention, this process took a long time. I thought about how losing this relationship would mean having to eliminate a large number of jobs, regardless of the performance of the people in them; I thought of how our investors would feel about the value of the company being severely reduced; I thought of how it would impact my future. Ultimately, however, I was able to quiet my mind.
I was then free to focus on the issue itself. I did this by figuratively holding it in my hands and turning it many different ways, looking at it as I did so. This process enabled me to see it from new perspectives. Over time, I began to see a potential strategy to attempt to get this relationship back on a strong foundation. After returning to the office, I laid out the strategy, and we began to implement it aggressively. Through the combined efforts of a great team of people, we ultimately were able to resolve the issue and continue this business relationship. Had I not been able to silence my mind and get enough space to thoughtfully address this issue, our company and the people in it would have suffered.
If you take time to silence your mind regularly, your mind will find the answers you need for every aspect of your life.