There’s only one problem: You don’t know better. How could you? In many companies, new managers are initiated with no training whatsoever. This is why there are so many bad ones. Being an effective boss requires a skill set that few people possess naturally, and mastering it is like learning algebra: watching other people do it isn’t enough. In fact, once the excitement from your promotion dies down, you may panic as you realize you have no idea what to do with your new employee. Suddenly your existence in the corporate world has become more complex. Pre-promotion, it was tough enough to successfully steer your own career and keep yourself out of trouble. Now you have to do the same things times two, because you are accountable for what your new employee does—and does not—achieve. It’s a big responsibility, and one that you must assume carefully if you want to sustain your upward mobility.

This chapter will help you navigate those bewildering first months as a new manager. I’ll talk about how to set the stage for a good relationship with your new employee and how you can help her establish goals. I will then go through some of the important aspects of good management—from delegating tasks and communicating effectively, to resolving performance issues and motivating a team. If you have access to a training course to supplement what you read here, I recommend taking advantage of it. Strong leadership skills are not easy to develop or maintain, and you’d be surprised how quickly you can slip back into old habits. When it comes to being the best manager possible, there’s no such thing as too many refreshers.

When you are assigned a new employee, you should sit down with him for an informal conversation. Taking the employee to lunch is a nice touch, and it will give you the chance to get to know him. Establishing rapport is key, but there is a strategic purpose for this get-together. Remember what I said about first impressions in Chapter 2? Your first meeting with a new employee will demonstrate exactly what kind of boss you will be, and it will influence all interactions from that point on. Use this opportunity to let your employee know right off the bat how you prefer to work and what you expect from him. If the employee is new to the company, you are also responsible for ensuring that he understands his role in the context of the larger organization.

Similarly, you should communicate your boundaries for acceptable conduct and performance as soon as possible. For example, clue him in right away if your company is super strict about arriving to work on time. The first time he slips, subtly let him know that there will be consequences if the behavior continues. Emphasize the importance of meeting project deadlines and observing the organizational hierarchy at the start of your relationship, and no later. I know a lot of managers who desperately want their new employees to like them, so they put up with all kinds of no-no’s—from insubordination to mediocre performance—without saying a word. As you can imagine, these managers are always the ones who later complain that their employees don’t respect their authority or aren’t meeting performance expectations.

Human nature dictates that even hardworking employees may test your boundaries to see what they can get away with. You can save yourself future frustration by guiding your new employee gently, but firmly, in the right direction. If you’re worried about being perceived as the bad guy, remember that employees prefer straightforward, timely feedback to mixed messages, passive-aggressive slighting, or a bad review that comes out of nowhere. Your employee may not always love what you have to say, but he can’t fault you for delivering constructive messages in the spirit of goodwill. It wasn’t so long ago that you were in his shoes, so simply remember how you wanted to be treated then, and let your instinct be your guide.

Good management is challenging because every day you must wear a number of hats. You have to be your employee’s ally, establishing a foundation of trust so that she is motivated to work hard for you. You must be a director, staying focused on your department’s big-picture objectives while taking into account your employee’s unique contributions. You must also be a coach, supporting your employee’s development through mutual problem-solving. Once you are assigned an employee, it’s not enough to be proactive about your own workload and direction. You are now also responsible for mentoring her and helping her forge a rewarding career path.

In Chapter 4, I defined a goal as an expectation of growth and achievement. As I talked about previously, meaningful career goals are devised by considering what you want to do, why and when it should be done, and how success will be measured. BlessingWhite (www.blessingwhite.com), a New Jersey-based consulting firm, suggests that employee goal-setting is important to effective management because it allows your employee to:

Like your own, your employee’s goals should be just challenging enough so that she will continue to put forth effort on an ongoing basis. Early in your relationship, meet with your employee and help her draw up a list of goals. If you are a new manager, it’s a good idea to think about this before you’re sitting across the desk from your new employee. Taking into account her skill set and any existing goals from previous performance reviews, jot down what you think your employee’s goals should be. Stuck? Ask your boss or a senior manager for help.

Write your employee’s goals in the format of an informal contract, and add it to her performance review. Note what actions each of you will take to ensure that these goals are achieved. For example, suppose you and your employee agree that she needs to increase her comfort level when interacting with other departments. Suggest that she arrange and lead next’s week meeting with the IT staff, and help her finalize her agenda ahead of time. Set timelines and follow-up dates for all goals so that the two of you don’t forget about them once you leave the room. In between progress meetings, reinforce your employee’s positive steps by rewarding productive behavior immediately and consistently.

Does your employee have a goal you’ve already achieved? You can help her practice new skills so that she develops the confidence to use them in her work. In his book Emotional Intelligence at Work, psychologist Hendrie Weisinger recommends using modeling, or demonstrating effective behaviors to be used in a particular situation, and role-playing, or simulating through live interaction how a situation might play out. Modeling might sound like a complex psychological term, but it can be as simple as having your employee sit next to you and listen to you call a prospective client. Role-playing in business is less fun than charades, but much more productive. Let’s say your employee is nervous about presenting a new idea to a senior member of the department. Acting out the conversation (with you playing the role of senior executive and the employee acting as herself) will help her articulate her thoughts ahead of time and anticipate potential questions and issues.

If you’re going to engage in either modeling or role-playing, be sincere and enthusiastic about it. It’s your duty to be sensitive to your employee’s development—don’t ever treat it as a joke. Be cognizant of situations in which your employee may be in over her head, and suggest other alternatives if appropriate. Sometimes you might not have the personal experience needed to assist your employee with her individual goals. If you don’t think you can be an effective role model in a particular situation, direct your employee to someone who can. It’s always better to admit you don’t know something than to lead your employee in the wrong direction.

A key part of your job now is to make sure your employee meets her goals. You may actually be measured on it. Improve her chances for success by applying all of the people-management tips from Chapter 6. When your employee achieves a goal, don’t let the event slip by unnoticed. Praise her, and then encourage her to reach even higher. Basking in the glow of your appreciation and approval, your employee will be motivated to do her best.

You were likely assigned an employee because your workload is too much for one person. Because there are only so many hours in a day, it makes sense to hand off as many assignments as possible. However, many twenty-something managers resist delegating tasks, even if they are in danger of drowning. Some of these reasons are probably close to your heart:

Any or all of these factors might play a role in your particular situation. That’s why delegating work is one of the most challenging managerial skills for a perfectionist twenty-something to develop. Case in point: When I first became a supervisor, I held my cards so close to the vest that my poor employee, Danny, had no idea what was going on. I didn’t trust him enough to share the work, so Danny had no choice but to sit in his cube and stare at the wall. After a few months, I developed the reputation of being a bottleneck—assignments arrived in my office and never came out. No one in the department was happy with this situation. I was so stressed that my hair was standing on end, my colleagues were annoyed because they had to go around me to get things done, and Danny felt useless and demotivated.

I eventually figured out that properly leveraging Danny’s contribution did not mean wasting his time with “safe” tasks, such as raiding the mailroom, or giving him ultra-specific instructions on how to do the smallest assignment. Rather, I had to invest time in helping him branch out, so that he could become a self-sufficient member of our team. The day Danny was promoted was one of the best moments of my career, because it was proof that I’d finally mastered the art of delegation. Once I offered Danny guidance based on what I knew, and then gave him the freedom to approach tasks in his own way, he actually learned something! Here is an example of the process I used to make it happen:

If you want your employee to be receptive to future assignments and enjoy working on your team, be appreciative of his efforts and allow him to manage projects independently. Your role is to offer direction and a supportive ear—not to get involved in all of the nitty-gritty aspects of the task. The first few times you try to delegate an important assignment will probably be difficult. Just keep in mind the end goal. The more autonomy and decision-making authority your employee has, the faster he’ll acquire expertise that will make your job easier!

Tasks that you assign to your employee may not always be received with open arms. However, you can’t back down just because your employee objects to an assignment. She will learn that expressing displeasure will get her out of any responsibility she doesn’t like, and, next thing you know, she’ll be walking all over you. A successful leader is well-liked and still manages to get things done. You can become one by mastering how to handle objections. Suppose you are a sales manager for a pharmaceutical company. Your employee, a sales representative, does not want to attend an out-of-town bioscience training seminar because she is too busy. You need her to complete the course so that she has the knowledge base to take on two important accounts. Let’s illustrate how you might handle this situation using a technique advocated by consulting firm BlessingWhite:

Recall the Win/Win approach from Chapter 7. Your employee will be much more likely to cooperate with you if you make her want to do what you’re proposing. Now, let’s be real here—there won’t be a Win for your employee in every task you ask her to complete. Sometimes, you will have to delegate an assignment that is just plain undesirable. When you’re the bearer of bad news and you know it, it’s best to get right to the point. Explain the situation and what needs to be done as positively as you can. Acknowledge your employee’s feelings about what you’re communicating, and encourage her to participate in finding an acceptable solution. Even if you’re as frustrated as she is, don’t show it. One of the hall-marks of a true leader is to make the best of unfortunate scenarios without breaking a sweat.

For me, the most difficult part of being a manager is delivering criticism. Even if it’s given nicely, it’s still criticism, and I know that I don’t like receiving it from my boss. I’ve realized, though, that if I never suggest how my employee can improve, he won’t. He’ll assume that my constant positive reinforcement means he’s doing everything perfectly, and he won’t bother to learn the new skills required to progress. And then what kind of manager would I be?

Criticism is necessary to any manager/employee relationship, but you should never bang your report over the head with it. You are not a playground bully, so always make sure to phrase your comments constructively. Begin with a positive statement about your employee’s performance, and do not follow it with the word but. The but erases the good intentions behind your original comment and diminishes the credibility of the criticism to come. But may seem harmless, yet it has the power to anger people like nothing else. Prevent your employee’s negative reaction by changing the word but to the word and. For instance:

Example #1: “Dave, your Website design is very sophisticated, but I’d like to see you replace the pastels with dark colors to enhance the effect.”

Example #2:”Dave, your Website design is very sophisticated, and I’d like to see you replace the pastels with dark colors to enhance the effect.”

See how much nicer Example #2 sounds?

Of course, some people are super sensitive and have trouble swallowing direct criticism of any kind. A former colleague shared a wonderful tactic that has worked for me on several occasions. If you want to improve a person in a certain respect, act as though he’s already behaving the way you want him to. He will want to prove that you were right to think so highly of him. For example, suppose you want your employee to take better notes at team meetings. Take him aside and tell him that you wish you were as organized as he is. “I don’t know how you keep track of everything that goes on in those meetings,” you could add. “Your notes saved my life last week when the general manager asked for the statistics that the Investor Relations Group presented.” Your employee will think about your compliment every time he goes to a team meeting—and you can bet that the quality of his notes will be better for it. After all, you told him that you love his notes, and he won’t want to disappoint the boss.

A performance problem may be defined as a situation in which your employee’s work does not meet your expectations. Maybe she turns in her weekly reports with typos, freezes up when it’s her turn to present in team meetings, or lets important deadlines slide. Telling employees to shape up is such a sticky wicket that many managers steer away from it entirely. The reasons vary. Some managers genuinely like the employee with the performance problem, and they don’t want to offend her. Others are simply unable to tackle uncomfortable situations head-on.

Whatever the motivation, a huge percentage of managers keep their gripes to themselves. They go about their business, allowing their disapproval to simmer while their employees continue to be ineffective. Remember that people are not mind readers. If you don’t tell your employee what she’s doing wrong, she won’t fix it. And if she doesn’t fix it, either you or your department could suffer a breakdown. Waiting until her review to discuss the performance problem is not a good idea either. By the time the assessment period rolls around, you will have had to cope with the problem for who knows how many months. A review-based conversation also means that your employee won’t have the chance to correct the problem before it is noted in her permanent record and affects her compensation.

You should address performance problems in a timely fashion, but you don’t want to jump down your employee’s throat every time she makes a mistake either. How can you strike a good balance? The first time your employee commits an infraction (provided it’s not something to fire her over), let it go. Wait and see if the incident was just a fluke or if your employee corrects it on her own. However, if the issue rears its ugly head on an ongoing basis, it may be time to sit down with her and address it. The following steps will guide you through the process:

When it comes to addressing performance issues, the key word is performance. No matter what your employee’s problem is, you must look at it in the context of her overall contribution. For example, suppose she does outstanding work and always hands in her assignments early, but she consistently breezes in at 10 a.m. Before you engage her in a dialogue about her tardiness, consider if it’s worth it. If her lateness is not affecting the quality of her work and your boss won’t notice because he works out of another office, you might be wise to avoid a confrontation. You know the old saying: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

In Chapter 5, I talked extensively about techniques for good communication. I discussed the importance of assertiveness, or the ability to stand up for your rights, opinions, ideas, and desires while respecting those of others. I also covered specific strategies for leveraging three communication vehicles—writing, speaking, and listening—to sustain positive work relationships. It’s in your best interest to communicate well with everyone you work with, but it’s most critical when it comes to interacting with a direct employee. As the manager, the onus is on you to make sure information is shared, and if you fall down on the job, your employee’s performance and morale may suffer.

Earlier in this chapter, I suggested how to set a precedent for good communication. Keeping the lines open through time, however, is more challenging than you think. When you’re a busy manager, the tendency is to stop talking to your employee. You’re tied up with your own assignments, and you expect your employee to be off and running with his. After you provide initial direction on a task, you assume that he knows what he’s doing. You don’t check in with him, and you don’t ask him to check in with you.

As time goes by and your employee doesn’t see you for a while, he begins to perceive you as unapproachable. He is working in a vacuum, and it’s anyone’s guess whether or not his performance is actually on target. In the absence of feedback from his manager, he might feel confused or demotivated. Pretty soon, he might stop making meaningful contributions to the team, and his career growth will slam to a screeching halt.

Don’t get me wrong: Communication breakdowns are not always the manager’s fault. Some employees are notoriously closemouthed and will refrain from volunteering any information about their work. Others will give you data that you don’t need. For the sake of group performance, you must solicit timely and relevant feedback from your employee. Set up weekly or biweekly meetings with him to discuss the status of his projects and to provide guidance on issues he may be facing. Consulting firm BlessingWhite recommends asking targeted questions during these meetings to draw your employee out, and to encourage informative responses:

Finally, let your employee know that you are always there for him. Make it clear that you have an open-door policy, and if he comes by your office and you don’t have time to chat, try to set aside time that day, if possible. Remember that the younger your employees are, the more sensitive they tend to be, so be gentle with your criticism. Take advantage of every opportunity to mentor your employee, and allow him to benefit from your experience. Touch base with him often—always graciously—and he will feel comfortable coming to you. I think you’ll find that when you are proactive about establishing a pattern of open communication, information exchange is easy, and your team is happier and more productive.

J. Richard Hackman, author of Leading Teams, defines a team as a set of people who view themselves as members of the same group and who share accountability toward some outcome. As a team manager, you are responsible for ensuring that your employees understand the purpose of the group and how to leverage their own expertise to achieve the group’s objectives. Previously, I talked about supervising teams in the context of project management. Your mission is raised a level when you are chosen to manage a team permanently, and when your employees rely on you for total job direction rather than individual project direction. Hackman offers the following recommendations for negotiating the team terrain:

In my experience, leaders must keep in mind a few additional guidelines to effectively manage a team. First, you must treat team members equally. This might sound like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how easy it is to play favorites or choose to spend more time with certain individuals. After all, some of your employees will have working styles or personalities similar to yours, so you’ll find it easier to coach and delegate projects to them. However, because your employees will talk to each other, make a concerted effort to share workload, information, and kudos across the board. Also, don’t take advantage of the can-do people in your group by giving them twice as much work as everyone else. If some employees aren’t pulling their weight, address the issue with each person individually rather than relying on the others to carry them along. And if you’re going to reward a certain team member with a raise, a comp day, or a special privilege, do it discreetly so that you don’t arouse resentment within the group.

Remember that your employees are not your friends. Although it’s great to develop a strong rapport with them and to get to know them as individuals, you should be careful about how much information you share about your personal life and how often you get together with them socially outside the office. Your relationships with your employees should always maintain a degree of professionalism. The more the lines blur, the tougher it is to do your job as a manager. For instance, you may find yourself skirting an employee’s performance problem because you don’t want to jeopardize your friendship with her, or you may tell her something in confidence that she could later claim as inappropriate boss-to-employee communication. Because it’s challenging to meet people in your 20s, the office is a natural place to scope out new friendships. You’d be wise, however, to look outside your reporting structure for a new buddy.

In the multi-generational workplace that defines the 21st century, it’s not unusual for you, the twenty-something, to be suddenly managing a team of employees who are older than you. You should be prepared for some inevitable snide comments and perhaps even some long-standing resentment. Here are some strategies for overcoming your reports’ initial skepticism:

Overseeing productive team meetings is another responsibility that separates the strong supervisors from the weak. Two of the biggest gripes I’ve heard about managers are that they either refuse to have team meetings, or that they run them inefficiently. Recognize that team meetings serve a variety of purposes, including communicating new goals and information, building teamwork, motivating employees, and providing a forum to resolve issues. If you never call your group together as a team, your employees might feel isolated and uninformed, and problem issues may fester because there is no opportunity to clear the air. However, you don’t want to have meetings just for the sake of having meetings either. Here are some do’s and don’ts for managing effective meetings:

One last piece of advice: If you’re in your 20s and are already managing a team, chances are you’re on the fast track. You are obviously good at what you do and have earned a pat on the back—but beware the ego. Nobody likes an arrogant manager, and I guarantee that you will be difficult to work with if you insist that you’re always right. The people underneath you can teach you something if you’re willing to pay attention. Remember this saying from Ralph Waldo Emerson and stay humble: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn from him.”