Building Inner-Circle Relationships

Before turning to your teams, I'd like to spend a minute on those closest to you. The most effective leaders build airtight relationships with their bosses, their peers, their hubs, and their sponsors (and not all these relationships are mutually exclusive, of course). Your energy will be well invested.

Every change agent needs a great relationship with his or her boss. It almost goes without saying, but that's how you get the latitude and the benefit of the doubt to run with ambitious, exploratory ideas. Many books on business relationships will tell you to try to build up the personal side of your relationship with dinner or golf. There's nothing wrong with that, but I believe that the best way to win trust and respect from the person you work for is to understand his or her strategic, operational, and tactical priorities and help advance them. Focus on the tactical and operational priorities in particular, because they are more likely to be achievable within a year's time. Just by working together toward a goal, you'll build trust. When you achieve it, your relationship will be cemented. Maybe then it's time to ask him or her to dinner, to celebrate.

Sucking up never works with anyone who's worth sucking up to, so don't bother. Trust is built through action and commitment. Always give your honest opinion, but once a decision is made, support it, assuming it's ethical and legal. Telling others “I'm just following orders” does not constitute support. Never throw your boss under the bus, and make sure he or she is your first stop with any news affecting the business—bad or good.

Building trust with professional peers isn't any different. Know their priorities and do everything you can to support them. One cardinal rule that I had with my fellow senior vice presidents was that we'd never disagree in public, especially in front of the board. I realized how important this was during one particular board meeting. One of the senior vice presidents was asked about the budget he was given by the CFO. His response was extremely negative, and he griped that he was having to shut down critical projects to achieve it. (The fact that the CEO, who had signed off on the budget, was in the bathroom at that moment the question was asked probably fueled his sudden attack of candor.) What bothered everybody was that he had been personally involved in the budget process and knew that the company's financial challenges that year required some difficult decisions. He shared in the decision-making process and now was blaming our choices on the CFO. His griping didn't get him anywhere, and worse, made it look like he was more concerned about himself than about the health of the overall organization.

As for hubs, sincerity and respect go a long way. That said, the best way to get tight with a hub is to empower him or her with your budget and backing. I remember meeting with a hub within our corporate technology and science group at Medtronic. He told me about two initiatives, both outside of his group, that needed funding. Because both ideas had merit, I immediately agreed to fund a POC for one using $25,000 of my budget and to be the executive champion of the other, which was enterprise-wide.

As for sponsors, I again depart from the conventional wisdom, which tells you to actively court these important relationships. My experience has been that the most influential sponsors don't want or need to be courted. They are looking for quality people to groom for leadership. They choose you. The way to attract them is by showing leadership wherever you are in your career. You do need to make sure that you're visible in your organization, but do so by being extraordinary: speaking up in meetings; sharing good ideas; taking on work; carving out new responsibilities for yourself; being proactive; and, when needed, speaking truth to power. That's the way to get on the radar of a sponsor.

My most important sponsors have emerged from the woodwork exactly when I needed them. At one point, when I was a group director at GP, I was having tremendous difficulty getting a business unit leader to see that his IT costs were twice what they should have been. Sure, he didn't have an IT background, but he was convinced (probably by the guy he was buying them from) that their IT systems were giving them competitive advantage. He wrote a blistering e-mail summarizing his point of view: I didn't know what the hell I was talking about. He copied everyone on it, including the executive vice president that his business unit reported to and the companywide HR leader.

It was a very low moment for me. Even though I knew I was right, being denounced in front of a big chunk of the company felt like a major defeat. I was down in the dumps as I was driving home, and then I got a phone call from the executive vice president, who had received the e-mail. He told me not to worry; he knew I was in the right and I had his full support. He told me to keep on pressing the issue. Without that call, I might have given up on the issue, which would have been bad for the organization, and ultimately bad for my career. That sponsor didn't disappear after that; three years later I was on his team.

Step Outside of Your Own Boundaries

As your responsibility grows and you rise in your career as a change leader, you'll find yourself constantly asking the people who work for you to step outside their boundaries. That's what change requires. They'll be more likely to trust and follow if they've seen that you, too, are willing to leave your comfort zone and put emotional skin in the game. Doing so allows you to transcend differences and find common ground, the space where trust begins.

When I became the vice president of the GP Distribution Division's mid-Atlanta region, people thought I'd never be able to build trust with the most important constituency for success: the customer. This was completely new to me, since this was my first role out of the safe warren of IT. I was also a city slicker who until then had only worked in the trucking part of the company. Now I would be dealing with the lumber part of the business, working with customers who ran rural lumberyards and looked at anyone in a suit with one eyebrow cocked. The business had been struggling, and about $700 million in annual revenues were on the line if I couldn't find a way to turn it around. I wouldn't just need to build trust with customers, but also with the sales people, many of whom were suspicious that my arrival was a misguided corporate blunder.

To grow revenue, one of our salespeople, Dan, came up with a great incentive plan. Our customers were huge NASCAR fans, so we would offer free race tickets to anyone who increased his or her year-over-year purchases by 10 percent or more. The promotion was a big hit, and when the first race approached, I surprised everyone by announcing I'd attend along with Dan.

A buzz went through my organization, but it was my mother who first said to my face what everyone was chattering about: “Don't too many black people go to those races,” she said, incredulous when I told her. I then let on that the race was in Richmond, Virginia. “I'll be prayin' for you,” she added. In the weeks before the race, she wasn't the only one, white or black, to say something similar.

The track at Richmond was enormous, boasting 90,000 seats, all of which were full the day of our race. From where we entered, we had to walk halfway around the perimeter to get to our seats. After we passed about 30,000 people, Dan turned to me and said, “James, I think that you may be the only African American here.” I smiled. “That's true, but consider this. Anyone who looks twice at me isn't thinking, ‘What's he doing here?’ they're thinking, ‘Who the hell brought him?’”

The look on Dan's face was priceless. We both broke out into grins. When we got to our seats, our customers were already there. There were about 15 of them, and I sat next to our biggest customer in that region. He was about 65 years old, the owner of the company, and he had his son with him. He had been a racing enthusiast since he was a boy. When I told him that this was my first race, he became my passionate tutor. He told me everything to look for and then had me put on earphones that let me listen to the drivers communicating with their teams.

Watching and listeningduring the pit stops, I was in awe; I had never before seen real-time precision teamwork on that level. After the race, the group asked me what I thought about it, watching carefully as I responded. It was easy for me to be genuinely enthusiastic, especially when I started talking about the teamwork. They all nodded their heads, smiling, and continued the conversation. We were all leading companies, even if they were different sizes. Appreciation for quality teamwork was common ground. If it was a test, I had passed with flying colors. The event was a huge success, and I left knowing that I had cemented some important relationships.

Word of the day's events spread rapidly throughout the division. The question of whether I could relate to customers had been answered, and the sales force looked at me with new eyes. Within three months, a second region was added to my responsibilities.

I knew from the start that I could be a good leader for the organization. Once I demonstrated that I was willing and able to step into their world with both feet, everyone else knew it, too.

Eight Practices for Building Trust

You don't have to go as far as NASCAR to step outside of your boundaries. You can do it within your company's walls. You could spend an afternoon having a call center employee train you to work the phones. You could take time during a group meeting to share a time you made a mistake. You could organize an evening event, or simply join employees for lunch. These are all opportunities to let people see beyond your job title.

Remember Ernie, my boss at Pepperidge Farm? I told you earlier that he won our trust by letting us know how valuable our work was, and serving us steak dinners to prove it. He was the top boss, yet he did even the janitors' onboarding personally. That meant something to me. I believed him when he said doing our jobs to the letter was important—so much so that when a fellow janitor failed to clean the bins on his shift and I didn't have time to clean them myself, I let Ernie know. Keeping standards high was more important to me than taking heat for ratting out a peer. Without Ernie's leadership, I probably would have let it slip. Point being, trust is more than a “warm fuzzy”—it has real influence on how people behave.

What follows is a list of the eight practices I repeat again and again to keep the boundaries between me and my teams as fluid as possible. Over time and with sincere attention, they lead to high levels of trust and mutual respect.

1. Ask a hub to introduce you.

   This creates a halo effect, predisposing people to give you the benefit of the doubt. Of course, in order for this to work, you've got to gain the hub's trust first—otherwise he or she will be reading from your bio, which gets you nowhere. Build that relationship first, so that when the hub is introducing you, he or she is also vouching for you with a statement like, “I'm getting to know James personally, but what I've seen so far tells me that he learns, engages, and does the right thing.”

2. Break bread on their turf.

   I've touched on this several times already. Initial meetings with the people who will be your partners—leaders, hubs, mavericks, and so on—should always take place over meals. Have them pick the restaurant. If you're in a region that's new to you, you can even have them order. Often you'll find there's a story or significance to the dish that they choose. Note: Unless you're allergic, eat as much as you can. Being tepid about their favorite food isn't the best way to start!

   I will always remember a meal I had when I was meeting with our team in China. We were at a manufacturing location far away from any major city. There were at least five local people from the site at the table. I told them that I would eat whatever they did. In the local custom, the food was placed on a lazy Susan turntable. There was some type of chicken in a very big pot that they had ordered. When it came around for my second helping, the chicken's feet popped out of the pot. All eyes turned on me to see how I would react. In my mind, I said, “Damn! Those are chicken feet!” However, I immediately put them on my plate and asked casually, “Do I use my chopsticks to eat them?” Everyone just smiled and looked at each other in approval.

3. Speak their language.

   This goes for traveling to foreign offices, but also for the unique cultures within your company. Certain words carry significance. For example, at Medtronic, invoking our mission of “improving lives” got people's attention. At Georgia Pacific, any words related to safety had weight. Listen to people and you'll learn their buzzwords quickly—or ask a hub to bring you up to speed.

4. Acknowledge people, especially front-line employees.

   It means a lot to people when senior-level leaders greet and meet them. In doing so, you're offering two of the three things people value most: security and significance. That means that when you lead them through change, those things are protected. Believe it or not, a simple “hello” with a smile can make people feel that you value them.

   Leaders sometimes don't realize that their acknowledgment makes a real impact. People don't just notice how they are greeted, but also how the leaders are greeting others. If you only smile and glad hand with certain people when you come into a room, they see that. If they aren't among them, their senses of significance take a hit.

   Always acknowledging people is easier said than done. Always means always, not just when you have time. When walking the halls, you can't get so caught up in your thinking that you ignore people as they walk by. Nothing gets in the way of building trust more than being hot then cold in your behavior. I remember one IT director during my programming days who walked by me every single morning without saying hello. When he finally stuck his head into my office one day and said, “Hello, my name is XXX, what's yours?” it scared the living hell out of me. Far from building trust, his appearance made me think, “What was that about?” I wasn't surprised when a couple of weeks later his “resignation” was announced. It was too little too late.

5. Engage people.

   Schedule time dedicated to asking people what they feel and think. Hold structured sessions and listen, listen, listen. The most important aspect of getting this right comes after the sessions end. You have to follow up and let them know what you are doing with their suggestions. Even if the answer is “nothing,” they need to understand why. Otherwise you're just patronizing them, which destroys trust.

6. Share your weaknesses.

   This can be surprisingly difficult; leadership can create self-consciousness. After all, people are watching your every move. But what I've learned is that failing to acknowledge my weaknesses—for example, times I've made mistakes—diminishes their trust. We're all human, and if people don't see the signs of that, they just assume you're hiding them, which is the opposite of trust. Instead, open up to them. You'll find that they respond in kind.

7. Create safety to discuss mistakes.

   The fact that I acknowledge my own mistakes goes a long way toward teaching people that mistakes are a normal part of the business of change. But when I am in charge of a new group, I always make sure to let them know what will happen if they come to me with a mistake. I won't chew them out or hang them out to dry. (Do that, and there won't be a next time.) Instead, I'll ask how they're going to fix it and what I can do to help. I never fault someone for a mistake, only for the failure to then learn from it.

   I once ignored the recommendation of an e-commerce expert, Gabe, when I tried to implement a data-gathering technology that he flat out told me wouldn't work. He was right, but he never said, “I told you so” or used my mistake against me. Instead, he helped me fix it, and in doing so he created a lifetime ally in me. That's the power of mercy.

8. Be transparent about the change that's coming.

   You won't make people feel safe by hiding the truth; you'll do it by setting a precedent of sharing as much information as you can. You're not just doing it to build trust, but because you're counting on them to help you figure out a course forward. Make sure you let them know that.

9. There are four things in particular you should share to ease their anxiety:
   1. The process that will be used to determine exactly what will change, and how.
   2. The people who will be involved in the process. (Make sure that at some point that includes them, even if it's just in the form of a feedback meeting.)
   3. The timing of this process.
   4. When the next update will be.

      Again, people fear uncertainty more than anything, so give them things that they can be certain about within the broader environment of change.

Put Your Pride to the Side

“Pride is the only known disease that makes everyone sick except the person who has it” is a favorite quote of mine. Pride is anathema to leadership. Actually, I would take that a step further to say that more than not being prideful, a leader needs to leave his or her ego at home to be most effective.

As the leader, you don't get to be the hero. Your job is to make heroes out of others, not by “giving” them credit, but by giving them enough responsibility so that when things go right, they actually deserve that credit. Another CEO once told me that his “make or break” question when interviewing senior executives was, “How many people who have worked for you have gone on to higher positions in the organization?” If they can't name several, they're out of the running because it suggests they've failed to nurture their teams, failed to share credit for wins, or in all likelihood, both.

When you shine the spotlight on your team, you win their trust, but the effect goes beyond that. When others in the organization see that you're motivated to help others succeed, not to burnish your own reputation, they start to trust you, too.

Putting your pride to the side means giving others not only credit, but also exposure. When you announce good news, don't hog the stage. Let others involved communicate the win. I know plenty of people who let others speak, but only when it's bad news being shared!

In fact, bad news is when it's your turn to grab the mic. I remember one project in particular that I had been brought in to turn around. Shortly after I came on, the VP of the business unit requested a status update, with the project leader in the room. Before the meeting, I asked the leader to let me do the talking. He must've been afraid I would throw him under the bus, because when we got in the room, he immediately launched into a nervous, rambling explanation of why things had gone wrong. He looked like he was dodging responsibility, as was clear from the concerned faces of the executive team. I kicked the corner of his chair, once, twice, three times, trying to get him to stop—until finally I hit it so hard the chair rocked! That finally did it.

Once I started talking, my approach wasn't to blame him, or anybody. Instead, I led with the fact that I had run into similar problems on some of my own projects in the past. I highlighted the fact that though we were in the ditch, we were course correcting early enough that we wouldn't have to spend too much money getting back on track. We were doing what was needed to assess the situation and develop a plan. I told them we'd come back to them in two weeks with a report on the steps we'd taken.

The VP was happy with the report and even told us he appreciated our candor. The project leader was visibly and audibly relieved. (He actually let out a sigh.) After the meeting, he turned to me and said, “James, how did I do?”

Always honest, I responded, “If I would have had a gun, I would have shot you right between the eyes to get you to stop talking!”

We both laughed, and from then on, he trusted me 100 percent.

In that situation, it was enough not to point a finger. There are other times when I've actually taken the fall for someone else's mistake. The fact is, a leader can usually afford to take a few hits. Your reputation is already established, and the loyalty and trust you win by shouldering someone else's responsibility far outweighs any damage.

Finally, a leader needs the humility to acknowledge his blind spots. At GP, they called me “Hurricane James,” and the nickname followed me to Medtronic. It was mostly a compliment, but it had a little bite. My winds of change blew hard and fast, and every so often they left destruction in their wake. For example, Hurricane James sometimes moved so fast that we failed to ask all the right people the right questions to prepare ourselves. Some of my biggest early successes were followed by some of my biggest failures, as a result. I have been very thankful for the times that employees trusted me enough to point out oversights before we got started and stood their ground those times I tried to blow right past. That, combined with increased discipline around holding risk assessment sessions with, well, everybody, has saved me from uprooting more than a few trees and houses over the years.

By definition, blind spots can only be pointed out by others. A leader needs to encourage others, particularly subordinates, to have the courage to speak up when they see blind spots. If you don't ask people to be proactive, they're likely not to say anything, at least not to your face. Once they do bring a blind spot to your attention, listen and learn. If you think they might be off base, ask a couple other folks. Nine times out of 10, you'll find they were right on the money. Find a way to solve the problem—with their help. In doing so, you're not only improving your leadership ability, you're also creating a more trusting relationship.

As you lead change, there will be challenges that knock you off balance, times when things are breaking so fast that you see the despair in team members' faces and feel that you've let them down. At that point, it will be trust that saves you. Trust that no matter how bad things are, you'll be able to lead the team back on track. Trust that you'll do everything it takes.

Even more important, you'll need trust in yourself to push past self-doubt that will inevitably flare up. The greater the positive difference a change initiative will make, especially a transformational one, the more moments of doubt a leader will have.

The next and final part of the book covers what a leader needs to do to persevere and press on.

Coaching Moments

All “no” answers need to be addressed.