Withdrawing cash for discretionary spending instead of using contactless payment was a life changer for me. I know most banks have apps that aid and abet society's drive towards going cashless, but that has never worked for me. Admittedly, COVID-19 also had a hand in reducing the number of cash transactions. It's astonishing to think that (according to the RBA) tap-and-go card payments now account for 83 per cent of all point-of-sale transactions. I suspect many people, if they were honest, would agree that tap and go leads to bad spending habits (and don't get me started on buy now, pay later purchase schemes!).

Knowing that any unbudgeted item must come at the expense of something else is very powerful. The choice becomes simple: if you spend money on A and B there will be no new laptop (or holiday) at the end of the year. Which one do you want? You can't have both!

The other handy hack I picked up was to cancel all my credit and debit cards, and then order new ones. This meant that any direct debits I had forgotten about would be voided. Retailers would then have to contact me directly to re-establish those regular withdrawals, at which time I could consider whether I really needed them. With so many streaming and subscription services, it's far too easy to lose track of your cumulative spend. Subscription businesses operate on direct debit and there's a reason why they're among our fastest growing enterprises. Consumers have an alarming tendency to forget the ‘small’ withdrawals they commit to, often letting them continue for months or years before terminating services they don't use.

If you're interested in getting control of your finances, this is a great way to force you to reassess what you truly need and what, under blow torch conditions, falls into the category of a luxury! However, before you mistake me for a poster child for fiscally responsible young adulting, remember I'm my father's son. Despite all the structures and checkpoints I put in place, after a few months, I started to falter. I'm sure a lot of people will relate.

I'd been doing well, paying off my student loan, putting aside 10 per cent of my pay for my future self and having a good handle on my regular expenses. Like most 21-year-olds, after working hard during the week, I'd let my hair down on the weekend — sometimes a bit too much. I'd go out on Saturday night, then sometimes follow up with an old-fashioned Sunday session and burn through my $200 discretionary spend. Then I'd do one of two things: start swiping my debit card across the bar to buy rounds of drinks or, worse still, log on to my internet banking app and transfer money from my 10 per cent savings account into my everyday account (i.e. the money I put aside for one-off expenses)!

I did this on three consecutive weekends before I started to feel anxious. Through ill-discipline, I'd lost control. I'd love to tell you I was able to retrieve the situation and regain control, but I couldn't trust myself. ‘Six-beers-deep James’ was somebody ‘Responsible James’ didn't recognise. ‘Responsible James’ had to take matters into his hands.

Regaining control

One day during my lunch break, I opened an account at one bank (for my 10 per cent savings) and another account at a different bank (for one-off expenses). This eliminated the temptation (and ability) to transfer funds between my accounts with the press of a few buttons. I also organised an automatic transfer of funds from my everyday account (i.e. the account my income was paid into) to each of these accounts. I called my 10 per cent savings account my ‘Future account’, and the account for my emergency and one-off expenses my ‘ICE (in case of emergency) account’. And I had just enough left over for my living and discretionary expenses.

After finishing the paperwork, the bank executive advised that my bank card and internet banking would be set up and sent to me within a week. ‘Thank you, but I don't need a card or internet banking,’ I said.

She looked at me incredulously, like I was joking. Once I convinced her I was serious, she confirmed I could open an account without a card but she wasn't sure if it was possible to avoid having internet banking. At my insistence, she found a way to override the automated process, but it wasn't easy.

The automatic transfer of funds from my everyday account to the two new accounts worked a treat. I regained the control I had previously (though only temporarily) enjoyed and, in the process, thwarted the financial sabotage of ‘Six-beers-deep James’!

I still managed to have fun socially. I didn't miss out on anything, but it forced me to think a bit more proactively. I would encourage my friends to come over for beers at my house and give myself an occasional weekend off partying to put away some extra spending money. When I did go out, I would call it a night when my $200 weekly allocation had been spent. I even started leaving $40 a week in my sock drawer before I went out on a Saturday night, just to make sure I had something to get me through Monday to Friday! Looking back, I was kind of desperate (even a little hopeless) but the point is, where there is a genuine will, there is a way. I'm living proof!

What I would learn, as I charted my way through my twenties, was that ‘getting’ control and ‘keeping’ control were two very different things. My dad was a good example. There were many times in life when he had financial control but he found ways to short circuit himself. Ultimately, he suffered the consequences of financial anxiety. In some ways, my experience has been similar, but in others, it's quite different. On the back of strong support, guidance and a lot of trial and error, I've managed to gain control of my finances and learn what retaining control entails.